Abortion?

[Staceybeak]

Really need another opinion! TW - talk of abortion.

Recently me and my partner have been talking about a third child, not really saying we want one but we were taking a ‘if it happens, it happens’ kind of way.

Fast forward to now, I’m pregnant with our third child. Partner has decided he really doesn’t want it and wants me to have an abortion.

His reasons are perfectly valid as our other 2 kids are a good age, we’ve just got rid of all our baby stuff and he’s doing really well at work.

Me on the other hand was quite happy that I was pregnant but my mind is slowly turning to have an abortion just to make our lives easier as we have argued about it a lot and it’s getting into my head about how hard it will be with 3 kids.

He says he’s ‘happy’ with whatever decision I choose to go with. But that breaks my heart that he’s ‘happy’ for me to go an have an abortion.

I really don’t know what to do as our lives are perfect at the moment and ever since I’ve become pregnant it’s just turned to shit! we talk about it and it always ends up sour and I get upset, I really don’t know what to do!

Ultimately its your decision. If you don't want to abort and do it for your partner you will end up resenting him.

It's entirely your decision on this, you need to do what feels right for you, not just go with the easiest way.

Also from what you've said about the whole 'if it happens, it happens' approach, it seems unfair that because it's now happened, he's done a U turn on you 😔

Sorry you're going through this OP. Sending hugs 💐

It’s your decision, but think well before you decide to abort. You might do what your DP wants, but live in guilt later, which will make no good to your mental health.
He will be most likely okay once he gets used to the idea about the baby (if you strongly decide to keep the baby).
Take your time, don’t make a rushed decision.

Hi @Staceybeak

How did this go in the end? How are you both coping?

My wife and I are in a similar situation currently and I / we don't know what to do. We have two children already nearly 2 and 4 and we are just getting settled and sorted after the hard work of getting to this stage and now my wife fell accidentally pregnant. We both agree the timing is not right, we will struggle with many aspects of life, including finances, childcare etc, but my wife is keen to keep the pregnancy and I would prefer we didn't. We have a great relationship and a very happy family, which could well be damaged by either of us having to go down a route that we don't want to go down.

The idea of a termination is not something I would take lightly, but I do think it's the best for the family at this stage.

I'd love to hear how you guys got on?

Thank you