Told baby was one sex, found out it’s another, feel so low.

[Cuppasoupmonster]

For anyone who didn’t happen across my other threads, my NIPT at 14 weeks said girl. But the 20 week scan yesterday said clearly boy; and this has been confirmed by the private clinic that did the NIPT in a rescan this evening. The NIPT can be wrong in 1% of cases apparently, looks like I’m that 1.

I’m feeling very shocked and low, and just looking for some understanding/wise words from anyone who has been through something similar.

Of course our little boy will be adored, but for 5 weeks I bonded with a girl in my head and now it feels like she’s vanished. I also feel guilty crying over my baby as it seems so ungrateful.

please help 😞

This is exactly why I didn’t find out the sex, I wanted a girl but I knew if I found out I was having a boy at the scans I’d be sad but if I found out it was a boy after delivery I wouldn’t care. I had a girl in the end but the surprise was worth it 😊

I think it’s a valuable lesson about just finding out it when baby is born. Building up expectations yourself and telling siblings they are having a brother/sister when there is no need.

Is it @Anymanyall 🙄

Yes

Are you absolutely certain that the NIPT was wrong, and not the scan?

I had NIPT (for the genetic testing element, not for gender!) and was told that the gender is 99+% accurate. Meanwhile, we've all heard of scans being incorrect.

Having had 2 boys, I do realise its often blatantly obvious that its a boy on a scan though, so I'm not suggesting you're wrong. I'm just quick confused and shocked!

However, I recall that the gender aspect was most accurate after a certain number of weeks (12? 10?) so might not apply if you had NIPT very early on.... I'm not an expert!

@catsandkid yes the scans were very, very obvious and have now been checked by 4 people! There are cases out there of the NIPT sex being wrong but it’s just very rare for it to be. That said, most of the clothes will be neutral now and I don’t really think I will 100% commit to boy in my mind just in case. The only alternative is that the baby has some kind of rare disorder with female DNA and male anatomy, so we’ve had a redraw to double check and if it stays female we will have an amnio.

When I was having my third I was determined it was another boy mainly because my MIL kept going on about how wonderful a little girl would be. My boys were wonderful thank you. So I had an EMCS, no time for epidural so I had a general and woke up as I was being wheeled to the ward and heard the midwife from theatre telling midwife from ward that it was lovely that I'd had such a beautiful baby girl as I already had two boys. I said I don't have girls, she hadn't realised I was awake and said it was a girl. I said very emphatically I'd had a boy and in the end she agreed with me.

I was thrilled when I was handed my very beautiful baby girl although I had to smile through gritted teeth when MIL was so delighted.

These scans, particularly early ones, aren’t that accurate. They would have told you that.

It was a blood test that looks at chromosomes. You would have known that if you’d read my posts…

And that is why I never found out. A surprise at the end is so much nicer.

My DD was told right up until 20 weeks she was carrying a girl. Then it changed to a boy.

good for you mate