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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Due April/May after MC 🌈

1000 replies

BellaBella38 · 21/08/2022 12:35

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

OP posts:
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calipoppy · 14/09/2022 15:23

@Blue2020 I think the hardest part about a loss is the fact that as well as losing the baby we lose the chance to feel the (naive) excitement that we always imagined we would during pregnancy.

I had an mmc at 8 weeks with my first pregnancy and spent the first trimester of my second pregnancy feeling so sad that I was feeling anxious and not excited, but that one worked out and I now have a wonderful DD, and realise that you just have to protect yourself during pregnancy once you've had your eyes opened.

Sadly I then had to have a termination earlier this year at 17 weeks due to a fatal abnormality and yet again now feel that I have been robbed even more of the naivety.

When the abnormality was discovered I said to the sonographer I had no idea that it it could even be an issue and she said to me 'it's for the best, if everyone knew how many things can go wrong nobody would ever have a baby.'

I don't really know what I'm trying to say in this message other than to let you know how much I (and all of us) understand and to reassure you as someone who has also had one successful pregnancy that the way you feel now is a coping mechanism and there's nothing wrong with it at all ❤️

We are all being so brave to put ourselves through this again, and that's something to be proud of whatever the outcome.

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 14/09/2022 15:29

Lovely words @calipoppy and true through and through

Janefx40 · 14/09/2022 17:18

Thank you @calipoppy for saying that.

It's so hard. I want to enjoy it as this is my last pregnancy however long it lasts and I am enjoying moments.

All my symptoms have gone today so feeling worried again. But just have to hope. I'm not sure I felt anything much during my successful pregnancy just a few cramps around 6 weeks that made me think I was miscarrying.

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 for us all x

Essexgalhere · 14/09/2022 17:22

@Blue2020 @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl

I’m 6 weeks on Friday
I agree I might feel calmer once I see a healthy baby on the screen at 12 weeks but until then I am going to be 50/50 on how this works out
I think we do this to protect ourselves, if we went into it fully positive and had a loss we would think it would be harder than if we tell ourselves we might have another loss if that makes sense.
I want to be positive I do, but loss is the worst thing I’ve been through and I am scared to go through it again

Essexgalhere · 14/09/2022 17:26

calipoppy · 14/09/2022 15:23

@Blue2020 I think the hardest part about a loss is the fact that as well as losing the baby we lose the chance to feel the (naive) excitement that we always imagined we would during pregnancy.

I had an mmc at 8 weeks with my first pregnancy and spent the first trimester of my second pregnancy feeling so sad that I was feeling anxious and not excited, but that one worked out and I now have a wonderful DD, and realise that you just have to protect yourself during pregnancy once you've had your eyes opened.

Sadly I then had to have a termination earlier this year at 17 weeks due to a fatal abnormality and yet again now feel that I have been robbed even more of the naivety.

When the abnormality was discovered I said to the sonographer I had no idea that it it could even be an issue and she said to me 'it's for the best, if everyone knew how many things can go wrong nobody would ever have a baby.'

I don't really know what I'm trying to say in this message other than to let you know how much I (and all of us) understand and to reassure you as someone who has also had one successful pregnancy that the way you feel now is a coping mechanism and there's nothing wrong with it at all ❤️

We are all being so brave to put ourselves through this again, and that's something to be proud of whatever the outcome.

@calipoppy So sorry for your losses and thank you for sharing that with us xx

We are so brave putting ourselves in this position and it is definitely a coping mechanism

I have told a few friends that I’m pregnant again (2 are pregnant at the moment) and I remember one of them asking me if I cried of excitement like she did when I found out. I felt guilty because truthfully I didn’t, after a loss you get that excitement taken away from you and I’ve found it hard when friends talk about how excited they are and I deep down think I won’t experience that myself because of fear

I think back to how I was before ttc and I was so happy and excited to start trying for a family, blissfully unaware of how my journey would actually go

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 14/09/2022 17:31

@Essexgalhere it's great we have this group that get it - I cried when I saw this positive but of anxiety/fear, not happiness !

Blue2020 · 14/09/2022 19:25

@calipoppy sorry for your losses. What you have said is how I feel about it. Losing the naivety and innocence of it.

@Essexgalhere I know what you mean, I want to be happy and positive, I’m just trying to not be too hopeful because the loss last time was hard and it’s just hoping it doesn’t happen again.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I was happy seeing the positive test but unlike in feb where I thought ‘we’re having a baby’ instead I thought ‘let’s see how it goes’.

BellaBella38 · 14/09/2022 20:12

Hi @Blue2020 and @Janefx40 Welcome to the thread for people who totally get it. @calipoppy summed it up perfectly.

I spend a huge amount of energy working on my mental health, checking in on my mood and focussing on my calm. Had a great day yesterday, positive booking, positive scan. And today my bloods have come back as having gestational diabetes! So today I'm having to battle morning sickness where I can lift my head and all I can tolerate is beige with by the way you need to eat less beige 🤦‍♀️ Trying so hard not to worry, but I do wonder if this has been undiagnosed for years and a contributing factor for our previous losses and struggling to concieve. Fighting the urge to totally panic. But there's so many appointment to deal with... GP, perinatal mental health, consultant, midwife, diabetes specialist midwife. Just all feeling a bit intense today.

OP posts:
Janefx40 · 14/09/2022 20:13

I'm sorry we've all been through this but good that we all understand.

I've been so worried today because my symptoms have just gone. I was going to do another blood test today but didn't because I thought it might worry me more. Even tho I'm anxious, I'm in no hurry to find out this one is failing too.

But when I don't feel anything I just panic. I can kind of cope if I'm alone and have time to Google and then distract myself but I was at a funeral today and it's hard when I have to talk to people. I can feel my head buzzing away in the background.

Sorry to splurge. Xxx

Janefx40 · 14/09/2022 20:14

I actually never had that first BFP naive joy because I'd already done IVF by that point. I think infertility also takes the joy out of it even before you've experienced loss. You are way too aware how easily it can get snatched away.

Melusina123 · 14/09/2022 20:39

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl glad you've got a scan booked. It's so great when the EPU is supportive. I've been getting left-side cramps today; deffo gas. 😂 And I think your approach to hope is very wise. I'm willing to hope (I'm not optimistic but I'm hopeful, of that makes sense?), but I'm avoiding planning because the loss of those plans was one of the hardest bits of the MC for me, like passing the date when we planned to tell family, etc.

@calipoppy it's such a cliche but you really do just have to take it one day at a time when pg after MC, don't you? A termination at 17wks must have been so difficult. 💐 When we had the bleeding earlier this week I told my OH I didn't know if I could do this again. Whether it's successful or not I don't know how much more I have in the tank to deal with the rollercoaster. It does take a huge amount of guts to put yourself through it.

@Janefx40 my symptoms have also been coming and going. Hopefully it's all ok for you. 💙

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 14/09/2022 21:08

@Janefx40 Yeap, infertility definitely also kills the buzz. Also means that when you finally get that positive test you are already completely exhausted by getting there.

I have no symptoms today either. I also haven't had sore boobs yet at all! But I do have good test lines so holding on to that till Monday

Singingloudforalltohear · 14/09/2022 22:47

@calipoppy you’ve put it really well. I was quite pragmatic about the MMC but now I feel more sad for the lost opportunity.

I knew the statistics last time and was cautious not to get my hopes up (a friend had a MC shortly before which really influenced me) but this time is definitely more anxious. I struggle to believe it’ll turn out well even though I rationally know the odds are in my favour, as they are for us all!

calipoppy · 15/09/2022 18:12

How's everyone doing today? I'm feeling quite pessimistic, I'm 7+3 and I really don't feel sick at all compared to usual. By this point I normally wouldn't be able to step foot in the kitchen and I just made a fish pie!

Janefx40 · 15/09/2022 20:04

@calipoppy I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've been feeling the same to be honest. No symptoms today or yesterday. I keep telling myself "symptoms come and go" and I know it is true but it's hard to make yourself believe it isn't it?!

The truth is we just don't know - either of us. Everything could be fine or it might not be! And only time will tell us but it is agony.

What I would say is that I was absolutely certain I wasn't pregnant because I've done 6 transfers all with similar meds and I always get certain symptoms when pregnant that weren't there. But the lines were positive. I'm holding onto that and telling myself that you really don't know and every pregnancy is different. I'll try to believe it if you will?

Honestly, all I think we can do is make ourselves as comfy as possible and ride this out. Sending lots of hugs xxx

calipoppy · 15/09/2022 20:14

Thanks @Janefx40 and you're so right, there really is nothing we can do! I can totally see how people end up having a scan every week, it's so hard not knowing what's going on in your body. I think I might book a private one next week if I still don't really feel that sick. Do you get any extra scans with the IVF clinic?

Janefx40 · 15/09/2022 20:33

@calipoppy I'm not really sure what this clinic does as my last transfer there was a chemical. My previous clinic did bloods every 2 days and loads of scans which was quite anxiety inducing too.

I think I will have a 6 week scan at the IVF clinic and then I have to have scans with the recurrent miscarriage clinic at 8, 10 and 12 weeks I think (which is a bugger as they are nearly 4 x the cost of my local scanning place).

I was trying not to do too many bloods but I did a Medichecks kit today. Not sure when the result will come back. Dreading it.

Singingloudforalltohear · 17/09/2022 08:15

Off for a scan later today. 6+1 and feeling nervous.

Melusina123 · 17/09/2022 08:17

@Singingloudforalltohear Fx for your scan, keep us posted. :)

MO22 · 17/09/2022 08:26

Hi all, please my I join?
I got a positive yesterday at 11 DPO and to be honest I am bricking it.
It's been 9 painful, traumatic long months since I had a MMC and an ERPC in Dec 2021 just shy of 14 weeks.
I am over the moon to see a line, but I'm also terrified.
I had just geared up to start letrozole, so much so that I have all the drugs including progesterone pessaries in the house!

Is is a bad idea to just use the pessaries? The NHS gynaecologist said to ask for them if I got a BFP but I was going to start ovulation induction privately (only got a referral to NHS fertility a few weeks back). I don't know if I have a progesterone issue or not, but nervous basically...

Janefx40 · 17/09/2022 10:09

@MO22 welcome and congratulations on the BFP. I know it's an anxious time but it's the first step. We can't get our rainbows without it.

I'm so sorry for everything you have been through. That's so rough and so unfair xxx

In general progesterone doesn't hurt - I'm not sure how strong the evidence is for it helping outside IVF but I don't think it is harmful - but if you start taking it you would generally need to keep taking it which means that at some point you would need a Doctor to agree to the dose you are on.

How much do you have? Do you know what the dose was going to be?

It sounds like your gynaecologist was going to prescribe them anyway.

Janefx40 · 17/09/2022 10:10

@Singingloudforalltohear good luck

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 17/09/2022 11:07

@MO22 I'd speak to a medic if I was you, but I don't think too much progesterone would be an issue! You and I have similar history - I had a miscarriage in Nov 2020 at fetal gestation of 11 weeks and it's taken 2 years to conceive again so excited but also v v anxious

somethingluscious · 17/09/2022 11:09

@calipoppy With symptoms, I always felt my body would start to get used to things and that's why symptoms fluctuated or seemed to disappear. I've never had morning sickness, so just get tired, queasy and sometimes get insomnia. I'm not able to eat very large portions at all and my appetite hasn't been great. I need to get new bras though. It is like my body remembers what it is meant to do. I have abdominal bloating and already look like I'm showing.

@Singingloudforalltohear Hope you scan goes well!

@MO22 If you search for Tommy's and progesterone it will give you information on the PROMISE & PRISM trials. It only recommends that progesterone makes a good difference to outcomes for repeated m/c.

With all my successful pregnancies, my bfp was at 11dpo. I got hcg tests privately with medichecks this time. They do a progesterone test too as a pregnancy progress test. It is really easy and convenient to test. When I did hcg tests this time I also did progesterone tests, which were just within threshold, but very low.

I am pretty sure I have issues with progesterone as when charting my temperatures in my luteal phase would often collapse, where I would get the occasional good cycle where they surged well and stayed high. I think that might have also been why I was getting recurrent early losses around 5-6 weeks between my 2 daughters.

The midwife sonographer I saw at almost 7 weeks told me that as long as I wasn't bleeding or spotting things were probably ok and scan progression would supersede any blood results as progesterone isn't something they test for. She said I could test it for peace of mind, but she also wouldn't want me to be wasting my money. My fertility history is different though and I've not had MMCs. I always tested and knew the hcg wasn't increasing sufficiently for pregnancies that weren't viable, so knew if they were going to progress based on the hcg. The baby med hcg calculator and info alongside it is very good.

I think I'd be wary taking progesterone myself unless I had a clinical need defined by my doctor as my body seem fairly finely balanced hormonally, so I have to try to trust it, which can be hard. It's easier now as I'm almost 9 weeks and I think the placenta is taking over. I think it would be hard to get to see a doctor so early and EPAU would just scan once early enough to check everything is in the correct place, then to check growth and start taking some measurements.

Hope that helps, but the first few weeks to month are so difficult and anxiety driven. You have to look after yourself well, get plenty of rest and take each day as it comes. I liked the datayze risk calculator too as everyday my risk went down and today I was still pregnant for another day so there are occasional moments of joy that would break through the anxiety.

I had my booking appointment yesterday and have a growth scan next week at 9+2, then 12 week scan at 11+2 and a consultant appointment at 15+3. They were going to do that over the phone, but I asked if I could just come into the clinic as it would be easier than trying to take a call in school. The midwife said they would test for gestational diabetes properly this time and took a baseline test for my blood sugar. I think my metabolism is all linked in alongside fertility, as my other two daughter were both just under 10lbs. I am probably best to stick to a fairly low GI diet, but I'm also trying to get plenty of fruit and veg (can be hard if I feel icky). They do blood tests for down syndrome risk, etc at 12 week scan.

MW also said it's unlikely they would let me go past term due to my age and would induce, but would give me injections before so that I won't hemorrhage this time. Both my previous pregnancies went to 41+3. She said as well about possible low dose aspirin and blood thinning injections later on, but that depends. It was my age and then my bmi was at a threshold, which pushes me over into high risk and will more once I start getting heavier. The midwife told me to refer to EPAU up until 17 weeks and then after that to maternity assessment.

Janefx40 · 17/09/2022 11:42

@somethingluscious I've been doing the Medichecks Hcg tests too but frustratingly the one I did on Thursday hasn't come back and I don't think it will now before Monday or maybe even Tuesday with the bank holiday.

I had a blood test anyway today at my IVF clinic. I don't want the results. On the one hand, I am out of my mind with worry but on the other, I don't want to burst this bubble of being pregnant and find out it's failing again. Ugh!

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