Babies due April 2023 thread 3

[ncbn1]

Following on from thread 2..

How old is your toddler @Margo34 ? My 23 mo had a FULL meltdown last night when I tried to give her a bath straight after nursery (she was filthy) and wouldn't let her watch tv - worried we have somehow created a tv monster! We don't want it much but she's absolutely obsessed with it atm. I tried to persevere with the bath but she got hysterical, I thought she might vomit or something so in the end I gave in and we watched tv for a bit - she insisted on lying down under a blanket and having a cuppa tea (we give her rooibos) 😅

@ancienthouse 💐 It never goes the way we expect does it! I was the other way round, I fully expected my early induction to be completely fruitless and end in c-section (cervix was clamped shut when the induction started), so I think I was a bit shocked when I started dilating quite quickly. I remember being stunned when they told me I was 10cm and to start pushing.

This time my (loose) plan is to either:

1. be induced by pessary only and tantrum until they let me use the pool 😆


2. If pessaries alone aren’t enough, insist upon the most excellent epidural they can manage before the drip from hell goes in

I was very passive last time and just let things happen to me, this time I feel a bit more confident about my limits and what I want. Hoping they will take me a bit more seriously as a second time mum.

@chillichillioil so glad your epu scan was better - are you going to ring the private scan company? I would personally ask for a refund and let them know how much undue stress they caused you getting it very very wrong!

@Skylark1990 i think it's good for new mums to be to hear all the stories, good and bad. It's such a varied experience. All my friends had lovely water births so I thought mine would be like that too and so when it didn't work out like that I felt like a total failure, like my body just didn't work properly. The hypnobirthing course I did made it feel like that too, it seemed to say that if you needed interventions then you were doing something wrong. It was really hard, I was crying a lot whenever I was alone and reliving the whole thing in my head. I think if I'd had different expectations I could have managed it a bit better mentally. The birth reflection appointment I had really helped and so did getting a copy of my hospital notes and reading through them to try to make sense of it all.

@chillichillioil glad your scan went well. I also had a bad experience with private scans. I went last Sunday when I was 6w3d and she said she could barely make out the yolk sac with an internal scan. Went to EPU the day after and we saw a 7mm baby with a heartbeat through just an abdominal scan. I think these private places are only good when you're maybe 8 plus weeks

@ancienthouse I thought the hypnobirthing course was rubbish but know others who have thought it was really useful. I tried doing some of the breathing during the pushing and the doctor was like what are you doing, the baby is going back up he birth canal?! 😂 I quickly gave up on that. I thought the whole silent birth thing was probably fake, but in the end I was actually silent the entire time because I was focussing and concentrating so much as I imagined I'd be shouting my head off!

I’ve had two lovely elective sections. Great experience although painful first few days after. I’ll be having another and don’t feel at all like I’m missing out on labour 😂

@ancienthouse yes that's a good point - it is valuable to hear of different experiences. I'm sure it helps with expectations. But it's not great when there's a huge culture of fear around birth, which can happen when we only hear the negative stories! I'm sorry you struggled afterwards with processing :(. It's so hard isn't it, I had similar - the bits that stood out as moments where I really felt dis-empowered would make me cry for a few weeks after. I found talking about it helped. I never did the birth afterthoughts in the end as felt ok after a while, but I did talk it all through with the head midwife a few times while in hospital and they showed me my notes then too.
@Longbin I actually found the hypnobirthing most useful in the earlier stages of labour, not pushing... I found the up-breathing super good at helping me manage the pain of the contractions. It was something to focus on and kept me calm. I think the down breathing (pushing stage) would be good for some, esp if upright and mobile, and tends to help with avoiding tears (the baby going back up the canal and kind of bobbing actually means the birth canal is getting stretched out more slowly, so there's a method to the madness!). But if you've have an epidural and on your back etc it doesn't really work too well - I think coached pushing more needed at that stage as gravity not on our side! So I wasn't able to use the breathing baby out bit really - had to very much push!

@Longbin also with you on the silent thing... i remember with the pushing I didn't really make a sound as had to purse my lips and focus so much!

I'm really tempted to have one this time @Lapin387. I didn't even find birth bad, but I struggled so much with the recovery (infections mainly) and the recovery element was the only reason I didn't have a c section in the first place. If they say I have to be induced early again I think I'll have one, but will decide nearer the time.

Thanks everyone, don't think I'll be going for a private scan again. I was going to call them, but i think I just need to leave it and know not to go back again.

Is anyone else on progesterone? I'm worried about side effects and I really don't need anymore symptoms! Xxx

@chillichillioil I am and I think a few of us on here are also!
I've not had any side effects from them, apart from when I started using them vaginally (sorry if TMI) it caused spotting/irritation. So would 100% recommend using them rectally, it's less messier and avoids potential spotting /irritation

Xx

@Sunnyxo ok thank you. I am prone to UTI's so I think I'll pop them in the back end 😂 xx

@chillichillioil I am on progesterone too. I had a bit of cramping when I first started it, but that's mostly stopped now. It also made me feel hotter and have headaches for a few days, but this subsided pretty quickly too. Mostly no extra symptoms, although I do have a few pimples on my bum which I wonder if caused by it?! I usually alternate - vaginally at night, rectally in the morning but I mix it up sometimes. You need to lie down for at least 30 mins when doing vaginally but rectally you don't need to as it won't leak out (unless you do a no.2 within the next hour!). Try to do them roughly 12 hours apart but I was told it doesn't matter if the timing is off a bit so don't stress about this. It's quite messy when it leaks out so some people wear a panty liner - I prefer to just change my undies if it's too much as I wfh a lot of the time 😅

I reckon if you felt strong enough to call the clinic you could request your money back. It's really not on - they gave you such bad information, which even non-medical people like us knew to be wrong! A heartbeat at 4+6?! But understand if you just want to put it behind you.

😂 @chillichillioil it's very weird at first at takes abit of getting used to!
Honestly think it must've caused my UTI at 5 weeks, I've never had one before... xx

I'm sort of craving McDs for lunch.... should I do it??

@Skylark1990 ooh yes go for it, can't beat a maccies when you really fancy one! 🍟

@MamaOh im sorry about your baby girl. The birth sounds beautiful though 💐

in a way, the fact I always knew I would be induced early and need lots of medical input meant my expectations were so low that I was actually surprisingly okay with how it all turned out. I think if I’d been aiming for a more natural or ‘enjoyable’ birth experience (home, MLU etc) then I would’ve been disappointed, so I can absolutely see why some of you struggled with your experiences. But - you have that wealth of knowledge behind you for this baby, and I feel they take second time mums a bit more seriously with our preferences as we’ve done it before and know our capabilities.

Meanwhile I was the screaming and shouting banshee, the MW told to shut up and push, I was like...I AM BLOODY PUSHING!! 🤣

@Lapin387 I'd always assumed all C-sections would be horrendous so it's lovely to hear of such positive experiences from your electives! 😊

@Skylark1990 my toddler will be 23m next week

@Wouldloveanother same, I expected it to be so terrible that it wasn't that bad. I'm pessimistic when it comes to pregnancy anyway though so maybe it helped on that occasion 😂

@Wouldloveanother haven't caught up with the rest of today's thread. I had a good start to labour but it turned traumatic. I used hypnobirthing breathing that by the time I went to hospital I was already 8cm dilated and used gas and air in the pool, but DS was stuck in the birth canal so had to have an EMCS. When he came out he was pretty much unresponsive but our paeditrician resuscitated him and saved his life. I think this time I may go for elective CS but haven't decided yet. Will try to catch up on the rest of the thread when I can, it's so lovely to have such an amazing support system in this group.

@Margo34 no they were lovely. I knew what date baby was coming. Husband was with me. Delayed cord clamping. Baby onto my chest whilst I was closed. Breast fed straight away in recovery. I work in a hospital so this felt much more controlled and safe to me than an unpredictable labour (though I had medical reasons for having them).

@Sunnyxo I actually decided to order sushi - my whims seem to be changeable atm! It's not being delivered for 40 mins so had to pop to the corner shop for some cheese and onion crisps while I wait... hopefully I still feel like sushi when it arrives!

@chillichillioil I'm another member of the Progesterone gang. I started them when I started spotting (I had the prescription but hadn't started taking them because I didn't want to medicate ideally, but then panicked and took them anyway). The only symptom I've had on them is the spotting stopped! 🙌