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Original poster

2 potential fathers clear blue 1-2 weeks

103 replies

ramdom · 11/08/2022 00:24

I have found out I am 1-2 weeks pregnant on clear blue test on Monday 8/08/22

My last period was 11/07/2022

On the 21/07/2022
I slept with guy 1

On 28/07/2022 I slept with guy 2
30/07/2022 I slept with guy 2 again

Does anyone have any understanding on who the father could be by the dates and the clear blue being 1-2 weeks

It's a mess and I'm really stressed out
I have an abortion booked on Monday because I don't know for certain who father could be and I am hoping for it to be guy 2 is this too close together to hope for guy 2 ?

Please don't judge :'(

2 potential fathers clear blue 1-2 weeks
2 potential fathers clear blue 1-2 weeks
OP posts:
Original poster
ramdom · 16/08/2022 05:42

ladydimitrescu · 16/08/2022 01:10

They're too close together to be sure.

Please see a sexual health clinic, get yourself on contraception, and sort yourself out.

"I'll just have to try again"
For the love of god no - you don't need to try get pregnant again straight away with guy 2 when you aren't even certain about a relationship with him. Don't bring an innocent baby into this, it's a mess.

Please see a sexual health clinic, get yourself on contraception

As I've said previously

I've been to the sexual health clinic after I found out I was pregnant

Contraception will be provided after the abortion

Thankyou

OP posts:
Scorpio8 · 16/08/2022 05:53

ramdom · 16/08/2022 00:06

Thankyou ever so much for your response I really appreciate it

You are right
She deserves to know I will tell her once this is over
I can't bring up a baby knowing the baby broke up their home and the baby finding this out also wouldn't be nice

I am not going to rush anything with guy two I am just get into a proper relationship now and start building together like he says into our future and planning things properly over time

I hope you have a lovely night xx

Show quote history

@ramdom

You seem to have your mind made up at wanting an abortion. Even if you decided to keep the baby. He the one who did sleep with you and made that choice to cheat on his wife.
Before or after just tell her. She needs to know what sort of a man she with. I think your paying the price already for this. He playing happy families and thinking this won't come out.
I feel actually angry towards guy 1. Because he sounds a nasty piece of work.. probably not first time he cheated on her either.
As long as you are doing what you feel is best for your or baby. No being force into it not right.
I would never speak to guy 1 again after this.

Scorpio8 · 16/08/2022 06:23

@ramdom

I didn't really read all your posts because of how people are on here.
In your response to someone you said guy 1 been trying to sleep with you for 2 years. I would keep texts and tell the wife this. If you do care for your friendship tell her now.
I know it's hard because your pregnant now.
You have taken steps to have abortion won't make her feel any better know you both slept together.
Did you develop feelings for guy 1? Sounds like you been through a lot in 2 years with him chasing you. This the example of a man who doesn't give up until he gets what he wants. Who doesn't care who he drops in the fire and deserves to dropped in the fire too. Twice as hot sorry.
You will still be known as home wrecker even when you tell her after abortion. Please make contact with her today.
Tell her everything and when it was what he been like.
Sick of men like this and the OH gets the full he deserves to be taken down a peg or two.
I feel sorry for the children but you can't tell me his wife hasn't suspected him cheating. You must know if she has or not. If so tell her today.
Very serious now because how many women out there he got pregnant and it'a covered up. Imagine he got a child she doesn't know about.
No many women will abort a pregnancy for him.
Are you not angry at guy1?

ladydoris · 16/08/2022 06:48

I meant that you should tell him why you are aborting, you are not aborting his child per se. This is very different from you aborting his child. This is a totally different scenario. Just how much did you drink ? Even if you take full responsibility, make sure also that you have this answer. I am really upset about guy 1. He might be more of a jerk than you think. I don't see how you could just get off with some guy after two years of "No". Sorry OP.

Bournetilly · 16/08/2022 06:49

Its good that you are going to tell his wife, you should of told her all the times he was trying to have sex with you.
Hope it works out for you

Scorpio8 · 16/08/2022 06:56

Bournetilly · 16/08/2022 06:49

Its good that you are going to tell his wife, you should of told her all the times he was trying to have sex with you.
Hope it works out for you

@Bournetilly

Too late now her husband mission accomplished. As she takes accountability he need to aswell.

I believe she did and regretted it. The guy probably put another score in his book and pleased with himself. When this got real he like have an abortion.
Maybe this guy wanted to split this lady and his wife up as friends.
He done a good job hasn't he. So be extra nice now make sure his wife makes him pay now but throwing him out. Yes not easy they have kids. What is he lacking at home to make him cheat.
@ramdom
Do you know what that is? Sounds horrible being knowing her. Why would he cheat on her. There got marriage issues obviously already before you slept with him.

Theanswersarewithin · 16/08/2022 07:18

Just to say I’m thinking of you. It sounds like a bit of a heartbreaking situation. I hope you’re ok.

Also to say that ovulation is not always the same day each month. I have a 26 day cycle and usually ovulate on day 16. I just got pregnant by surprise and by my dates I ovulated on day 26. A complete fluke.

Threelittlelambs · 16/08/2022 09:03

I think some of you are being really mean. These situations happen.

How old are you OP?

This decision should be based on whether you want a baby right now and can support yourself and the child going forward. If guy 2 is supportive I would talk to him about your fears and outcomes for the pregnancy.

I have know two woman in this situation, one has just had the baby and the father is demanding a DNA test, he was married and lied about it, also had a long term girlfriend and had told his wife he was no longer producing sperm as she wanted more children they split but continued to have protected sex.

Second one, very short relationship prior to pregnancy, then this new bloke, but he apparently was only looking for sex and she was looking for a relationship. He’s been on tinder looking for sex while she was texting him about her fears - she’s keeping the baby.

One contraception failure one the other the morning after pill was taken.

These things happen, and they happen to woman, and we should be shouting from the rooftops about male involvement and payments - and I’m not talking some shitty £30 a week either.

They should be made to pay half childcare half baby times half clothes half clubs and half food - it’s about time someone did and average calculation as a standard payment.

This shouldn’t just fall to the woman to provide. Absolute shambles.

Lmf685 · 16/08/2022 09:18

I dont envy your situation and really do feel for you cause the stress would kill me BUT what do you expect to happen sleeping with two men, days apart with no contraception.

You gave into married man after being drunk and him pestering you and guy 2 you didnt want a relationship with but now your preg with pos his baby you are ready to have a relationship with him. not the best foundation for a relationship.

chasingtherainbow1 · 16/08/2022 09:22

Wow just caught up on this thread. Some people on here are so mean. Whatever happened to 'if you can be anything, be kind'. OP is clearly in an awful situation and abortion is an awful decision to have to make and go through. Yes guy 1 is married and it's wrong but there's no need to keep going on about it.

@ramdom I'm sorry some people have added more stress to your situation. Don't think about either guy for now, think about what you want and follow your instinct.

Louise0701 · 16/08/2022 09:24

If you liked man 2 though and wanted a family with him, you wouldn’t of slept with a married father of 4, 6 days prior?

rainbowstardrops · 16/08/2022 12:13

You said that guy 1 knows about guy 2 but does guy 2 know you slept with guy 1 a week before him?
If he doesn't, I'm not sure this is a good base to start a relationship on.

Scorpio8 · 16/08/2022 12:18

Louise0701 · 16/08/2022 09:24

If you liked man 2 though and wanted a family with him, you wouldn’t of slept with a married father of 4, 6 days prior?

@Louise0701

I don't think it's as simple as that. She does like guy 2.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/08/2022 15:11

Whatever happened to 'if you can be anything, be kind'.

Being a bit blunt online or sleeping with your friend's husband? Which do you think is the most unkind?

I wasn't mean to OP BTW but I don't blame those who were.

chasingtherainbow1 · 16/08/2022 15:17

My point is, this is posted on the pregnancy thread. Not a relationship thread. She's not asking for peoples opinion about her morals. She's a human trying to decide whether to terminate a baby. It's an awful decision to have to make. I just think under that scenario she deserves a bit more kindness and sensitivity. The question is not of what she did is right or not. I think we all agree, OP includes that it wasn't right. She's already stated that. Enough people have told her it's wrong now, it's just turning into bullying

Eon · 16/08/2022 15:39

chasingtherainbow1 · 16/08/2022 15:17

My point is, this is posted on the pregnancy thread. Not a relationship thread. She's not asking for peoples opinion about her morals. She's a human trying to decide whether to terminate a baby. It's an awful decision to have to make. I just think under that scenario she deserves a bit more kindness and sensitivity. The question is not of what she did is right or not. I think we all agree, OP includes that it wasn't right. She's already stated that. Enough people have told her it's wrong now, it's just turning into bullying

Exactly this!! She even said no judgement please. She doesn't care about all your berating about her sleeping with a married man, yeah everyone blames the woman never the man.

She just wants opinion on WHO the father could be, that's all she asked for and if you can't help with an "opinion" then kick rocks. Some of you Mnester always act as if you're saints.

This isn't the AIBU thread, go and find some post on there to tear down the OPs.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/08/2022 16:39

yeah everyone blames the woman never the man.

Believe me I blame the man massively more than her!

Jaaxe · 16/08/2022 18:40

chasingtherainbow1 · 16/08/2022 15:17

My point is, this is posted on the pregnancy thread. Not a relationship thread. She's not asking for peoples opinion about her morals. She's a human trying to decide whether to terminate a baby. It's an awful decision to have to make. I just think under that scenario she deserves a bit more kindness and sensitivity. The question is not of what she did is right or not. I think we all agree, OP includes that it wasn't right. She's already stated that. Enough people have told her it's wrong now, it's just turning into bullying

Agreed! In the initial post shes admitted it’s a mess and she’s also said she regrets it massively, she doesn’t want to terminate but she’s pushing herself down that route so to not split up a family for a silly mistake. Everyone going on about how terrible she is is not helpful, what do you all expect her to do and say? she’s said it all herself, she accepts all this. She just wanted advice as to dates and who the father is as she clearly doesn’t want to terminate if she doesn’t feel she has to.

Ignore everyone trying to make you feel even worse than you already do OP, and please take time to think about what’s best for YOU, regardless of how bad you feel for your actions and for others in this, you have to do what YOU think is the right thing for YOU, as it’s YOU who has to make and live with the decision, whether that’s to have the baby or not.

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 16/08/2022 23:04

If you and guy2 are close and he's that into you and you say you reckon he wouldn't mind about guy 1, and you genuinely want to be with guy 2 then why don't you sit guy 2 down and tell him everything before making a final decision.
Guy2 might surprise you and want to support whatever decision you make even if it's to keep the baby?

Do what is right for you. If you want the baby and you are also certain you can support this baby even if that means doing it alone then don't feel you HAVE to abort just 'incase' it's guy1's
I understand you don't want to break a family up etc but this baby didn't get to make that decision.
And like I said.. guy2 may stick by you and the baby but you won't know unless you open up first

Original poster
ramdom · 29/08/2022 17:49

I've done the at home abortion
With the pill I'm heavily bleeding day 1 with clots and I'm in codeine and paracetamol for pain relief

Thankyou for all the help and responses

OP posts:
Grantanow · 29/08/2022 17:58

Total guesswork

Stomacharmeleon · 29/08/2022 18:13

Am sorry @ramdom x

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/08/2022 18:19

Hope you’re okay.

TheClockEnd · 29/08/2022 18:29

Wishing you well, OP, all this must be traumatic for you x💐

Bebabelouba · 29/08/2022 18:45

Be very gentle with yourself. Xx