Basics: im 28, and have two children with an ex. 11 and 6 years old. I recently married my DH in April. I just left my previous job end July, as I was (finally) starting a degree this September.
I've had the nexplanon in my arm for 2.5 years now. You can clearly see it there, in all its "supposed" glory. I also get monthly periods. The last one was as usual, heavy (tampons every few hours) for a few days. That was 3 weeks ago.
For months now I felt terrible. Had so many problems but overall completely exhausted every day no matter what. After sudden constant nausea and bloating along with it, my doc decided on full bloodwork. He happened to include the pregnancy hormone. Queue 2 days later, I open my test results. "SURPRISE YOURE AT LEAST 8 WEEKS PREGNANT" was basically the result. Next day I went to my gynacologist to and its 11 weeks. The abortion law here is a bit of a grey area between 13 and 14 weeks. And due to lack of appointments and summer breaks (what?!) I managed to get an appointment for in 2 days. It was that or nothing.
Me and my husband feel so overwhelmed, we don't know what to feel. I want to finally study, but my brain keeps logically working out how logistics "might" work if I just take one more year out. He did want his own bio children, but I told him from the start of our relationship I didnt want any more and he's had to grow to accept that. Now this is thrown into his face, actively getting "rid" of his bio child. We know at 12 weeks along, the baby has a heartbeat and looks like a baby. Although I absolutely did not want any more kids, I don't know how I will live with myself with either decision. I already feel so guilty like I am about to murder my baby. We've known I've been pregnant for 4 days now and have no time to decide. Has anyone dealt with something like this 😔
Just needed to write it down I guess. Any support would be appreciated!