Not sure what I'm looking to gain from this thread but I'm just sat here feeling emotional and alone.
My daughter is almost 15 months, she's playing near me with her toys and I'm sat like an emotional wreck. The guilt I feel is overwhelming.
Im 38 weeks 3 days now so will be giving any day now really. I don't feel excited at all. I don't want to do it. Which adds to the guilt.
I have to give birth alone.
I won't go into the reasons why on this post as it might be triggering for some, but there threads from January explaining my situation.
It's been a really rough couple of months let down by the services which were supposed to help me, I have no contact with my family and only two close friends. One is unavailable to be my birthing partner, the other will be looking after my daughter when the time comes.
I've never spent a night away from my daughter, I have so much anxiety about leaving her to go and give birth. And then there's the feelings about giving birth alone. I'm scared, guilt ridden, anxious, angry.
How do I make myself feel better about this so I can focus on labour?