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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Mumsnet is full of knowledgeable and helpful people BUT...

60 replies

Snaf · 19/01/2008 15:32

...we are NOT, any of us, even the qualified, nearly qualified or 'professional laypeople' among us, able to accurately diagnose problems over the internet.

If you are pregnant and:

  • in pain or
  • bleeding or
  • think your waters might have gone or
  • not feeling the baby move as normal or
  • anything doesn't feel quite right

PLEASE ring your hospital or your midwife FIRST

PlEASE do not sit around on MN waiting for an answer or advice.

MN is a fantastic resource and I for one love talking about the aches and pains and problems of pregnancy as much as anyone else, but MN is not a substitute for professional help.

I know lots of people use MN because they feel as if they don't want to 'bother' mws etc. And often mws/doctors don't give particularly satisfactory advice, it must be said .

But they are there for a reason, they are the professionals, they can see you and assess you and monitor you in a way that MNers simply can't.

I hope this is received in the right way! I don't mean don't post about XYZ, just that it worries me when I see people posting and waiting for advice on here rather than just phoning their hospital - however embarrassed they may feel.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
comfytoast · 19/01/2008 15:35

and you are not the boss [blows raspberry emotion]

babylove21 · 19/01/2008 15:36

well im still waiting for some tips re constipation - what i need is a dose of anxiety ... just joking.
your quite right snaf - i think though that its not so much the expert or lack of expert advice more the feeling that your not alone, as mw's only ever discuss you and won't tell you about mrs' X who also suffered XYZ.
totally agree with the more serious issues though

slinkiemalinki · 19/01/2008 15:36

hehe - think you both have a fair point ladies!

carmenelectra · 19/01/2008 15:38

ABSOLUTELY. I was just thinking this about another thread i posted on. Times like that it is not a good idea to wait or rely on advice from mumsnet!

micegg · 19/01/2008 15:38

I second snaff.

Snaf · 19/01/2008 15:39

Fine, comfytoast, bleed to death waiting for a completely unqualified stranger to tell you it's probably just ligament pain, then.

OP posts:
NadineBaggott · 19/01/2008 15:40

AGree with snaf and have said the same myself in the past.

MarsLady · 19/01/2008 15:42

Very true snaf, very true.

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 15:44

I agree basically, Snaffy, but sometimes people might not bother to ring their m/w etc if they didn't post here first...it gives them the kick up the arse they need.
(see Liege&Lief example, re PE/heartburn)

It gets to me when people sit here after we've told them to get attention, but at least we are on their case!

belgo · 19/01/2008 15:46

is there any particular thread that this refers to Snaf?

belgo · 19/01/2008 15:52

I've seen the other thread.

You're right Snaf.

Snaf · 19/01/2008 15:52

No, you're absolutely right, FA, and that's fair enough. As I said, MN is fabulous and I wish I'd had it when I was pg And for someone like me who has a special interest in pg, childbirth and all its charms, it's nice to be able to chat, reassure and compare notes!

It is hard sometimes because we all know mws etc are pushed for time and some aren't the most sympathetic anyway. But that's the problem, in a way - MN is so sympathetic and reassuring that it's easier to come here and say 'Can anyone help?' - which is not always the best solution.

I'm emphatically not talking about things like constipation, btw - MN probably has far more useful info than anywhere else! I mean acute pain, bleeding, etc - that just HAS to be checked out asap.

OP posts:
carmenelectra · 19/01/2008 15:52

Theres a pregnancy one running now and the poster was worried abour waters possibly leaking and pain at 24 wks

LOVEMYMUM · 19/01/2008 15:56

Hi Snaf. I agree with you but unfortunately, not everyone has the common sense to go to hospital, or they may be scared of going in case they "waste the medical staff's time".

In my experience, the midwives and GP's have been only too happy to see me and reassure me that all is well. Unfortunately, some people don't have this positive experience and then get put off seeking professional advice.

I agree, it's SO frustrating when posters just sit around on the computer after being advised to go to EPU etc.

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 15:57

No I agree, it depends on the situation, totally. Wasn't disagreeing, just adding another facet iyswim

why do they all say 0 replies grrrr

FlllightAttendant · 19/01/2008 16:01

'I spoke to my midwife who sort of laughed and said everyone gets pains like these.'

LOVEMYMUM · 19/01/2008 16:05

Have read the post. I think that cos the midwife laughed, maybe the OP thought that there was nothing to worry about. However, it may be that the OP didn't give the midwife all the information about the pain etc.

Please don't start "bashing the OP" - its not her fault for posting if the midwife wasn't helpful.

If she had another child to look after, she may not have been able to drop everything and go. Also, although i personally don't care if i get called an anxious pregnant woman, some women do. I went to EPU cos i had one drop of blood. Good thing I did cos i had an overgrowth of bacteria and needed antibiotics.

belgo · 19/01/2008 16:28

What really frustrates me is seeing threads by people who's children obviously need a doctor, and they simply can't get an appointment because it's the weekend.

I think some of the pregnancy/health threads are a very sad reflection of the state of the NHS.

Snaf · 19/01/2008 16:31

Agree completely, belgo. Makes me furious sometimes.

OP posts:
lulumama · 19/01/2008 16:39

amen to that snaf !!

no-one, not even the most experienced midwife or doctor, can diagnose things over the internet...

I am sure that virtually all MWs would rather be 'bothered' with an anxious mum who needs reassurance, than one who was too embarassed to be seen and ends up with an issue later in pregnancy or misses the chance to help someone with a real problem

comfytoast, snaf is not being bossy, but trying to protect the health of mothers and babies by giving this advice. not sure why you would want to take issue with that.

lulumama · 19/01/2008 16:40

no-one is bashing the OP of the leaking waters thread, but making the point that despite her MW dismissing her fears, it is well worth a second opinion and an urgent one at that.

LOVEMYMUM · 19/01/2008 21:23

Hi lulu - i simply didn't want the OP to think that anyone was being negative. Personally, i'm horrified at the mw's response (if she had all the information we had) and would raise the matter with one of her superiors.

RachAndFamousNot · 19/01/2008 21:42

Nadine Baggot!!! Ha ha - GREAT name. But this time you are not talking a load of Boswelox.

carmenelectra · 19/01/2008 21:48

I doubt very much that the midwife knew the full story. Suspect may be a vague pain reported. No midwife would ignore leaking fluid especially in a 24 wk preg.

newbishad · 20/01/2008 11:02

Dear Snaf,
I totally agree with your comments. However, it can take a long time to be seen particulalry if you are an anxious patient and are known for calling up about concerns, unfortunately hospitals can be quick to label patients or make you feel labelled. I live in Ireland and I had a horrendous battle to be seen before 20 weeks in the ante-natal clinic despite having lower abdominal pains, a slight brown discharge and a complex obsetric history. Fortunately after numerous phone calls, letters both from me and my G.P I was reviewed at 15 weeks. Everything was okay and I am now 21 weeks.
While you are waiting to see someone it is helpful to post concerns into Mum's net.