Mumsnet is full of knowledgeable and helpful people BUT...

[Snaf]

...we are NOT, any of us, even the qualified, nearly qualified or 'professional laypeople' among us, able to accurately diagnose problems over the internet.

If you are pregnant and:

• in pain or
• bleeding or
• think your waters might have gone or
• not feeling the baby move as normal or
• anything doesn't feel quite right

PLEASE ring your hospital or your midwife FIRST

PlEASE do not sit around on MN waiting for an answer or advice.

MN is a fantastic resource and I for one love talking about the aches and pains and problems of pregnancy as much as anyone else, but MN is not a substitute for professional help.

I know lots of people use MN because they feel as if they don't want to 'bother' mws etc. And often mws/doctors don't give particularly satisfactory advice, it must be said .

But they are there for a reason, they are the professionals, they can see you and assess you and monitor you in a way that MNers simply can't.

I hope this is received in the right way! I don't mean don't post about XYZ, just that it worries me when I see people posting and waiting for advice on here rather than just phoning their hospital - however embarrassed they may feel.

I totally agree and yes, it can take a while for your m/w to see you, or to get a decent reply from a HCP, so go to the hospital.
Get up and go, now!
Once you're there they will see you, and I'd much rather go home with a flea in my ear and being told everything is fine than being sat at home in pain and petrified.

I think this flags up a communications issue that could possible be addressed at booking appt with MW or GP.

My friends thought I was mad as I quizzed the MW about when I could get hold of her, what the alternatives were outside those hours (although she said anytime!) and warned her that she would be on speed dial number 1 on my phone!

Is it too much to ask, in amongst all the the other forms and infosheets, to have one about who you can contact and when?

No, it shouldn't be too much to ask, teuch. Although you're lucky that you had 'my midwife' to ask - unfortunately loads and loads of women don't even get that.

But this is the point - if you're pregnant, it's not your fault that the NHS is in such a state and resources are stretched etc etc - I hate it when women say they don't want to waste the mws/docs time. You should always have access to someone to ask (within reason - no calls at 3am because you've accidently eaten some mayonnaise, please!)

Speaking as an almost-mw, I would rather see 20 'worried well' women than have to deal with one emergency situation, and any HCP who says different shouldn't be in the job, imo.

Ooops I'm the poster with the leaky waters

I was silly to wait, but as it had been going on for so many days and MW had prodded tummy and said all ok, I didn't want to bother hospital staff at a weekend.

I've got to be honest, I am VERY nervous about visiting hospital as I've had 5 scans this pregnancy and am getting another tomorrow. All because I keep getting pains and on a couple of occasions some bleeding which they don't know the source of- and now something leaking too. I feel like one of those hypochondriac (sp?) mothers, and the MWs at my doctors surgery are really unhelpful. A lady from my nightschool class is a surestart lady and she is going to put me in touch with a breastfeeding councillor and a full day antenatal class as she said she can't believe how crap my MWs are (especially as they TOLD me to pretend to the hospital that I would bottle feed, so that the staff wouldn't 'get on my case' about wanting to only express. I'm actually going to bf on the advice of other people. It would have been nice to have had that info from my MWs).

I must admit, i didn't mention the leaky waters as it had stopped for that day and I thought it might be a bad case of discharge (sorry TMI) plus me and DP were laying it on so thick about the pains making me cry and things that she was starting to rush us a little.

I'll know to go to hospital next time, but I am sooooooooo glad I came on mumsnet as my mum told me to post knowing everyone would say to get checked, as I wouldn't go to hospital when she told me to. I definately wouldn't have gone without everyone telling me to as USUALLY they fob me off with co-codamol and say 'we all get these pains in pregnancy'. They were fantastic this time though, as it was straight to the labour ward rather than that antenatal bit.

Mumbles, don't feel bad. Your post just triggered something that had to be said in general.

I must say I am glad this post was made as both Snaf and Lulumama get asked to provide professional opinions all the time and that is not really what MN is about. I worry most about posters who just desperately want to hear that everything is fine so they can keep their heads in the sand despite things not looking fine at all.

I have a great mw, when I called her in great pain when I just got SPD she said she was a bit concerned as it sounded so unlike me to be in such pain. Surely we all need a midwife like that, who actually gets to know us a bit! It would mean less urgent advice posts on MN.

no-one is annoyed by your post mumbles... but none of us, not even the most experienced midwife can or should diagnose anything hte internet

we could say, it might be this/ that or the other... but it is not a reason not to seek proper medical advice

sometimes it is nice to get the reassurance you are not making a fuss over nothing, but in pregnancy, no-one should ever feel embarrased about making a fuss or not wanting to bother midwives....

but as snaf said, certain things
If you are pregnant and:

• in pain or
• bleeding or
• think your waters might have gone or
• not feeling the baby move as normal or
• anything doesn't feel quite right

PLEASE ring your hospital or your midwife FIRST

don't faff round on the internet first...!

nothing wrong with knowing when you mUST seek medical advice !

Mumble, don't worry, I've just posted a thread about pain myself!

It's just that sometimes people need a little encouragement to call someone so this thread is giving them that without wasting any time!

Agree with Lulu. I work in maternity and yes there are definitely times when you should go straight/phone up hospital. Leaking waters is one of them, particualrly if not full term.

No one would think that wa s time wasting.

I too would rather see 20 women just for a quick check and were ok than a full blown emergency! Its easy to see someone, reassure, monitor and send home then get the whole of labour ward involved when they come in with a massive problem.

Mumbles - I really hope you don't think I was getting at you. That wasn't my intention at all. Your thread did prompt this one, but only because I was worried about you and others who have posted along the same lines, honestly! Your mws do sound pretty crap, btw, so I can understand your reluctance.

Am pleased you got some good advice and reassurance at the hospital anyway. Remember, it's their job to be there when you need them - even at the weekend!

sorry, just to clarify . my post might have sounded like i am a MW, I am not !

although i would like to retrain when my DCs are older ...if there are any jobs by then

there are several MWs on here, Snaf, Mintpurple, Mears, Helenhismadwife, Maxbear. to name a few... carmenelectra.. are you a MW?

anyhoo, i hope that pregnant women will feel reassured that they are not 'bothering' their MW by contacting them about pains, leaks, and other worries, and will get the help they need, when they need it !

Snaf- No, not at all, I didn't think anyone was getting at me. I actually appreciate this post as it's people saying to go to hospital rather than ask on MN because I tend to think 'oh it'll go away it can't be anything, they'll think I'm fussing' and not see anyone about it.

Yes Lulu, I am a midwife, but reluctant to say so because i got a telling off on a feeding post a couple of weeks ago!

Plenty of time to retrain Lulu. Sure there will be jobs!

lulumama - there will always be jobs for midwives as long as women carry on having babies! You'd be a great midwife, very consiencious.

mumblesmummy - maybe it's a good ideabefore your next appointment to write everything down that you need to say beforehand, so that you don't miss anything out? I know what it's like, doctors, midwives etc can be intimidating sometimes and it is easy not to say everything that you need to say.

no worries, carmen, didn;t mean to put you on the spot!

thanks belgo, i hope so

good idea re writing things down before the appointment

Im a nice midwife honest!

there are plenty of great midwives around

I saw two delightful m/w's earlier. Really lovely ladies

the ones i have met, worked alongside, sat in on meetings with etc, have all been fab ! and all fearfully cross about being restrained in the level of care they would like to give, by being understaffed and underbudgetted!

Dont talk to me about being understaffed! GRRR! Makes me mad. Dont think have hardly ever had a shift when not understaffed.

VS, why did you need see a midwife today?

I had soreness in my scar and shooting type pains in cervix area, so I called up and they wanted me to pop in and get checked out.

Oh DEAR, was everything ok

They said so, protein in my urine and still in pain but baby is fine and blood pressure etc is normal so they said to come home and rest up, could be a pulled muscle or something.

ooh, i insist you lie down and be fed cake and tea for 48 hours !! seriosuly, hope you feel better soon x

I agree - medical advice should always be sought as per snaf's list.

Personally, I like to use MN as a 'back up' on medical things that I am in the process of getting advice for. Especially since I've found that HCP's can be quite dismissive of some things that I have brought to their attention during pg.

Like the GP who gave a 'half-chuckle' at my saying I was swollen all up my legs and said as he felt them "well, you are a big girl...."