Constant Worry - How do I cope

[Dddreamer92]

Hi all. I am due in Jan, currently approaching my 11th week, no previous children, IVF after previous chemical miscarriage. How does everyone cope with the worry that comes with pregnancy. I am constantly worried about miscarriages, still birth and my baby dying after birth? My midwife is aware but mood swings don't help :(

Hey @Dddreamer92 , I’m 13+4 today and also due in January following a miscarriage at the start of the year so completely know how you feel. A couple of things that have helped for me was having an early reassurance scan at 8+5 (prior to that I’d convinced myself there’d be no heartbeat, baby would be ectopic or I’d just imagined the whole thing despite many positive tests!) and also using datayze.com/miscarriage-chart to help rationalise my anxiety. I still have the odd panic, but I’m definitely not as anxious as I was pre-early scan, although we’ve got our 12wk scan and screening tomorrow so my fears have reared their ugly head again, especially as we’re so close to 14wks and I worry they won’t be able to see what they need to, but here’s hoping that’s just my anxiety talking!

@PointyMcguire thank you for your advice :) I may be seeing a few private scans in my future atm. I hope all is well for you tomorrow with your scan x

@Dddreamer92 they definitely help! Assuming all goes well tomorrow I’m planning to book another for 16wks to help bridge the gap between tomorrow’s scan and the 20wk one. We were lucky that our local EPU also offers private scans, but I’ve also heard good things about Ultrasound Direct if that helps at all. It’s easier said than done I know, but try to take each day at a time. I had weekly acupuncture up until 13wks, so used each session as another week ticked off which seemed to help stop me getting overwhelmed by the fear of what if. Thanks for the good vibes for tomorrow, I’ve got so many body parts crossed for good news I’m basically a pretzel! 😂 x

I feel the same at 10 weeks. I've already had two private scans! Every twinge or cramp I'm panicking. I hate it and just want to get to the milestones 12 weeks and 20 weeks so I can hopefully relax a bit.

@PointyMcguire Sorry its late and I hope you don't mind me asking...... but how did your dating scan go?

Scans!!

I'm due in January too, and have been quite anxious this time round because I'm almost 42.

I had a scan and 8 weeks, 10 weeks, and 12 weeks (with NIPT). I have my NHS dating scan next week.

I can't believe I was calm enough to wait for the NHS scan when I was pregnant with DD! This time round I've been way more stressed.

@Dddreamer92 thanks for checking in. Dating scan went well. Everything was as expected, all limbs present and correct and NT measured at 1.70mm which is within normal range. Was told baby was very well behaved as they lay in the perfect position throughout, though I suspect that was because my bladder was so full they didn’t have much option 😂

Now trying not to stress about the screening results 😬 I found out after my booking in appointment that I’m rhesus-negative so they took extra bloods to test babies blood type, so feel it’s a constant waiting game atm. Had a minor panic yesterday as the doctors surgery called yesterday requesting a non-urgent appointment with my GP following a letter from the gynaecology dept at the hospital. They couldn’t give any indication of what it’s for and can’t fit me in until early August. Wonderfully logical DH has pointed out it wouldn’t be non-urgent if it was something serious but I still can’t help worrying about what it is 🙈

Did you book a private scan in the end?

@PointyMcguire I'm glad bean is okay :). I have my scan next Tuesday for my dating so just holding out really until then. After I've had that ill then book my private for the 16 weeks or sooner depending on how the dating goes

@Dddreamer92 ah Tuesday’s not long at all now, I’ll keep everything crossed it all goes well for you 🤞🏻

I’m itching to book in a 16wk scan but have decided to wait until our screening results come back in as the place we’d be using for the private scan also offers harmony tests with a scan if needed. Local friends said they got their results by letter 3 days after their dating scan so I’m optimistically hoping today might be the day we know more.

@Dddreamer92 sorry I didn’t check in sooner, how did your dating scan go?

@PointyMcguire Hello :) thank you for asking. Everything is fine with baby, but the experience we had wasn't that great so I didn't get the reassurance we needed to last me a few week. We thought we were getting to Nuchal scan too or could get it, but apparently we had declined it, which we certainly did not. Luckily though we have another scan booked in tomorrow to get the test done so hopefully we get more reassurance from that. How were your results? If you don't mind me asking?

@Dddreamer92 oh bless you, sorry to hear that. We felt similar after the scan tbh as the sonographer was pretty speedy and didn’t really tell us much outside of the basics.

Results were confusing if I’m honest. Everything was low risk, but whilst our P&E probability was 1 in 100,000 our DS risk was 1 in 611 which comparatively felt quite high. Apparently it’s hospital policy not to share the Papp-a and hcg results so I was left wondering how they’d reached those numbers. In the end for my own sanity we booked a harmony test and scan which was well worth the money for the scan alone. The sonographer spent the best part of an hour doing a full anomaly scan and explaining what we were seeing in great depth which was super reassuring, as an added bonus we got to take all the videos and images home which was nice. The best bit was we had our results back within 5 days and got confirmation that we have a less than 1 in 10,000 chance of DS, E or P and found out we’re expecting a girl. Given my age I think I’d always opt for a harmony test now as added reassurance as it really did help to stop my anxiety spiralling.

Really hoping tomorrow’s scan gives you some much needed reassurance x