When do you consider yourself a Mum?

[namechangeanonymous]

Just that really.
Ive considered myself a Mummy since I got my positive pregnancy test - she's been a long time in the making though so whether that has influenced me personally I don't really know, however a friend didn't consider herself a Mum until baby was in her arms.
There obviously isn't a right way for this but I'm interested in how others felt?
I'm a first time Mum.

I felt like I was dd’s mum while pregnant. I sang to her, read to her, talked to her while she was inside me. I encouraged her dad to talk to her as well. Also, she was very active and I could not only feel her kicks and movements, her dad and I could see my tummy move a lot. I felt like I was getting to know her.

She’s 8 and she has always been a very active, bouncing off the walls, full of energy kid 😁

It's weird but I didn't feel like a mum until my first was a few weeks old. After she was born I f felt like someone who'd just had a baby but 'mum' still felt alien to me.
Now I'm a mummy of two and I love being a mum.

I used to think this. Until I became pregnant and realised I would prioritise my unborn child over anything. I would choose him over my husband. I did what I could to protect him from the moment I saw the little line, I didn’t drink, I ate the right foods etc. He was a part of me when I felt him kick. If he was not my child and me not his mum was he a parasite?! And, as many have mentioned and having spoken to mums who have lost children during pregnancy I would never say they’re not a mum because their child died, it’s simply not true.

I think I didn’t consider myself a mum til my first was actually born but you are a mum as soon as your pregnant really, there’s a baby inside you and you’re that’s baby’s mum! I’ve never thought about it before.

Once I'd given birth. I certainly didn't feel like a mum before that, but was a pregnant woman who was going to become a mum.

Bit of a sensitive subject I'm sure for those who miscarry. Best not to make a big deal of this distinction.

After they were born for me.

Why would he be a parasite?! He was a foetus and you were a mother to be. Of course people have different perceptions, but mother to be while pregnant, mother once the baby is born is pretty standard.

I did kind of feel that my unborn child was a kind of parasite - His dad and I used to jokingly call him that! Albeit one that I knew would become my child and cared for

Yeah he is kind of a parasite 😄. I love feeling my 28 week parasite move but I also called him a dead weight yesterday.

I think it's just totally different for everyone. Personally, and this may sound awful, I wouldn't say I prioritise my unborn child over everything/everyone. The people in my life currently, my husband and existing DC, take precedence for me over a baby who isn't here yet. I would also say that I would chose my own life over that of the baby if I had to, especially now I have an existing child.

Obviously it's unlikely I'll be in a situation where I have to choose between any of them thankfully! But until they are here and obviously everything shifts (I would absolutely chose my DD's life over my own or my husband's now) then I suppose I'm quite pragmatic about it in a way.

There's no right answer to this, really. It's just such a deeply personal and individual thing.

I definitely felt quite a contrast between how I felt to DC1 and unborn DC2. For me, the love for each of them and feelings of being their mum grew gradually over the first few weeks if their lives as I got to know them.

Why would he be a parasite?!
To be fair when I was worried because I was losing not gaining weight during my first trimester my obstetrician, a lovely, sensible woman said "Don't worry, babies are parasites. They just take what they need directly from you"
So I've always thought of pregnancy as having a little parasite.

Yep. Definitely a parasite. They meet pretty much every definition of the word!

And I didn't prioritise my unborn baby over people already alive.

Because my daughter was unplanned and I struggled with my emotions while pregnant I didn’t become a mum in my eyes until she was born. I didn’t feel like I mum until she was over 1 as I felt so overwhelmed and had bad PND - but we have the best relationship now (she is a tween) and I joke about feeling more like her sister than mum (because everyone thinks we are).

You are a mum when you say you are.

I also feel like a mum to the 1 baby I didn’t give birth to.

Now that I’m pregnant again I see this as my third child but again I would call myself a mum of 2 when they are born.