When do you consider yourself a Mum?

[namechangeanonymous]

Just that really.
Ive considered myself a Mummy since I got my positive pregnancy test - she's been a long time in the making though so whether that has influenced me personally I don't really know, however a friend didn't consider herself a Mum until baby was in her arms.
There obviously isn't a right way for this but I'm interested in how others felt?
I'm a first time Mum.

For me it was when I had the second baby and went from always second guessing everything I did, to just getting on with it. I became a much better mum for dc1 then too.

As soon as i found out i was pregnant, that's when I was a mammy to both my DS's 😊

And you always will be his mammy, always 💙

I am mum to 9.
I have 2 live children.
I AM a mother to every one of those babies, lost or alive.

posters saying “only when baby is put in your arms” are insensitive I feel.

@Wobblyjob I don’t think it’s insensitive at all as everyone is different.

I only felt like a mum when my baby was 3 months old. That doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t feel like a mum as soon as they hold their baby or as soon as they found out they were pregnant. Everyone’s feelings are different and no one is wrong or right

A few weeks after they were born,

it was weird, before that they felt like old friends I had known for ages. Like they were already old and just watching me look after them.
Then when they started interacting with the world and looking at things, they seemed brand new and then I felt like their mum.

Once they were born and I held them.
Before that I was a mum to be, expectant but waiting.

As soon as I saw the second line on the pregnancy test with my first child. I loved my baby as soon as I knew he existed. I am his mother biologically and this didn't suddenly just become true as soon as he wasn't in my body anymore. I've just had my third and considered myself to be a mum of 3 throughout the pregnancy. I didn't think about it with my second. Inside, outside...its all the same to me.

Of course you are!

We've lost 5 Babies. We still consider ourselves a Mummy and Daddy

I consider myself a mum and I only have a stepson!

Genuine question. For those who think it's absurd to consider yourself a mother before your child is born, how do you class your relationship with the baby? Are you not that child's mother, even biologically speaking? Surely you see yourself as more than just an oven baking a bun? Am genuinely interested in what other people think.

Of course you are a mum as soon as you are pregnant and know you'd do anything for the little baby growing inside you. So sorry to PP's who have been through such terrible losses.

I felt like a mum when my son was born - I just knew I would do anything for him, and I had never felt love like it.

I don't think it's absurd at all, but personally speaking I find pregnancy more like this weird kind of limbo where you're neither one thing or the other. I suppose I feel protective of the baby but I wouldn't say I love them because I don't feel like I can love someone I've never 'met'. So more than an incubator but less than an actual parent, somewhere between those two!

I absolutely think it's a totally personal thing though. Some people apparently feel that love instantly so I can understand them feeling very differently!

I don't think anyone said they thought it was absurd did they?

When you're pregnant you are a mother to be. It might not be the only way to think of being pregnant, but it's pretty standard.

@Hugasauras that is a good explanation actually, thanks for articulating. Interestingly, I felt protective of my 3rd but didn't have any big love feelings for her while she was in utero. One of my colleagues mentioned something about how I 'had 2 kids and one on the way' and my brain went all scrambly and I just thought 'no, it's 3!'. I didn't say anything but it felt wrong to me even, even though its pretty normal in society and I didn't have a strong emotional connection yet. It just sounded like she had got her facts wrong 😂

Yes but your step son is a child you have a relationship with, so you are a step mum, literally.

Someone said it was daft, I didn't remember the correct word. You're right, it is a pretty standard perception, I was just wondering why and thinking a little more deeply about why people think the way they do.

I remember the exact moment vividly. Walking away from my booking in appointment at about 10 weeks. The form the doctor had given me to send off for maternity benefits had written on it 'name of expectant mother'. Reading those words, that was when it hit me I was a mother.

When I got positive tests then I considered myself a mum. I took care of them and me when they were growing inside me and done everything I could so they could come into the world.

I'm pregnant and don't consider myself to be a mum yet, will when babies born x

Your not a mum until you have given birth

I think I felt like a pregnant woman during pregnancy. I was looking forward to being a mum in the future, but wouldn't have described myself as one, and didn't really feel like one until a week or two after DC1 was born. I did feel that DC1 was "my baby" while I was pregnant - he used to get hiccups and I referred to him by name, but only once I was doing the mum things like feeding him or caring for him did I feel like I was a mum. Appreciate that this is not the same as everyone feels.

I think it's down to every woman's personal perception. No one can tell you you're not a mum before your baby is born if you feel and think you're a mum while you're pregnant.

I hope no one is upset by this thread because there are some insensitive comments.

❤️