Rude comments about 3rd child

[LittlemissMama67]

Is it just me or does it always seem to go the same way?

first baby: everyone is super excited for you

second baby: everyone is excited and hopes it’s the opposite sex of what you already have

third baby: rudeness

I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with our third (and final) baby. 70% of responses when people find out I’m pregnant is “was it planned?” What does that matter exactly 😒 or “oh dear, you’re gonna have your hands full” why can’t people just say congratulations and keep their shitty comments to themselves. I’m actually excited believe it or not and very much wanted this baby, what a crazy concept.

also the usual

you sure there’s only one in there?

scoffing at her name ( Orla ) although that came after my 7yo son blurted out the name when a known bitchy family member asked much to my dismay.

your too big for 4 months.. okay… not helpful

maybe I’m just hormonal but people can’t be right arses

Congratulations and I do love the name Orla! Hope you're well despite naysayers

Thankyou! Just felt like I needed to rant

I got a few. "Why did you want another?" Because they couldn't imagine why anyone would want more than two. And others. You're lucky to be having another lovely child to enjoy and add to your family. If they can't be happy for you, their loss.

Yanbu op.
A beautiful name.
Congratulations!

YANBU. People can be knobs.
I like to go for a really awkward response back. We’re socialised into not being awkward and laughing off rude comments or answering questions we don’t want to. But why should we?

Was it planned? Response - that’s a strange thing to ask. Or that’s a very personal question.

Are you sure it’s not twins? Response - oh why do you say that?/ That’s an odd thing to say.

Wow your bump is so big. Response - oh, how big should it be?

I am pregnant with my third and my dentist just straight up asked why am I having another one. Sometimes I ask myself the same question 😂

We are shortly going to be TTC our third (next cycle - eek!). We've never made a secret of wanting to have three children (from before we had DD1) so we already get comments about how we're mad for wanting 3 and how 2 is so much better. Interestingly when baby #2 was also a girl comments changed to how we must be wanting a third to try for a boy as surely we don't want 3 DDs 🙄 I actually can't picture a boy and am convinced a third will be a girl, which DH and I would be perfectly happy with. I bite my tongue currently or laugh it off but once pregnancy hormones are involved I'm not sure I'll be so restrained. I certainly wasn't when someone made a rude comment about DD2 being a girl and how disappointed DH must be.

I love Orla 💕

Absolutely love the name Orla 😊

Be kind or be quiet 🤫 that's what you need to tell those negative nancys!

Good luck with your 3rd baby and pregnancy 😊

I'm currently TTC baby number 3 🤍

Orla is lovely. Congratulations.

I just said stock responses : "why would you want 3?" "Why wouldn't I?"
"You're going to have your hands full" "I hope so" etc etc.

(Secretly I just think they are jealous!! Lol. - although then I meet people with 4 or 5 and find I have made an innane comment before realising it.....)

Ahh the comments on sex are ridiculous you feel as though you need to justify the sex of your own child. My son is 7 from a previous relationship my daughter is almost 2 with my fiancé we’ve been together for years and he loves my son as his own, when our third was found out to be a girl people said things like oh no OH must be disappointed not to be getting a son of his own? Erm no not really he has a son. Maybe not by blood but who cares? He’s more than happy with his bonus son and 2 daughters now dare people say these things. It’s as if my son dosnt exist in their picture or our family because he’s not biologically my partners. Dosnt really work like that. We are a family

I no it’s hard but try ignore them! Congratulations on your third baby 😊 and I love the name Orla also! The how big comment annoyed me so much when having my DS.. my response was always well how big/small should I be? Which was usually met with awkward (for them) silence or if my doctor isn’t worried neither am I. Xx

I have said 'I think you're mad but congratulations' to a girl I know. She is a wholly inadequete mother to her existing two so I really did think it was a terrible idea. When she mooted the idea of a fourth amongst a group of other women, the silence told its own story. Apart from one woman who said 'I think you have a responsibility to do your best for the children you already have'.

Also would 3 girls or 3 boys be disappointing you don’t need a mix bag of sexes to form a family. A child is a blessing regardless of gender

Orla is a lovely name.

I am 5 months with third and absolutely massive...those comments don't bother me as I know they're true... however I do have a little internal niggle/worry that I'm 'too' big and something is wrong or I'll find it hard to lose the weight after,so could do without them really as they do make it worse! And really,you are right,it's quite rude,even if it's true. I just have a thick skin I think.

The thing that really is rude but actually I find quite funny are the 'WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE THAT FOR??' and similar. Exacerbated I think as we have had multiple fertility treatments for all our children, and we already have 'one of each'. Many people clearly think we're batshit. HOWEVER, we desperately wanted another and there are good societal reasons to have more than 1 or 2 children. So I don't care 😂

In summary- solidarity, but fuck everyone else, just be happy for yourself! I'm happy for you three will be fab 🥳

Someone said to me the other day, you’re 17 weeks? Your gonna be the size of a house.

lol cheers for that 🤪

I did this toy neighbour😭. I was a single mum struggling with twins and i blurted out you must be mad when i saw her pregnant with 3rd. She hated ne for a while. Im sorry Jenniffer😢.

I tried make up for it by cooking food for them when the baby was born i think she forgave me.

I think it’s engrained in society that the “perfect family” consists of 2 children a boy and a girl and anything outside of that is crazy.

I love being a mum. I pour my heart and soul into raising my babies and I don’t see how having 3 is mental but having 2 is “perfect”

people also said to me after my daughter was born aww you can be done now you have the perfect family a boy and a girl 😂

I’ll decide when I’m done I think

I’m pregnant with #4! I’ve had loads of comments, but I don’t mind, because I mostly agree with them 🤣

Actually, the ones that have annoyed me most are people with one child, saying ‘it’ll all be fine, 4 children isn’t that many’. The pregnancy wasn’t planned so I’ve been in a spin, and these type of unrealistic, placating remarks have been unhelpful.

anyone with 3 or more children have just laughed, as they understand more what it’s like to have more children than ‘usual’!

The biggest upset was someone saying they hope it’s a girl. I have 2 sons and a daughter already and I felt really angry on behalf of my lovely sons.

I’m sure you look beautiful, and comments are just inane bullshit. People can be annoying!

Yup so many comments asking if our third was planned.

I was tempted to reply ‘Well. Since you’re asking. We’d had a few too many glasses of wine and he’s always quite good at withdrawing in good time when he’s sober but..’

I wonder if this is a british thing as when I posted here about being on the fence for a third I got a bit of a hard time from some posters. But when I speak about it to friends and colleagues they are overwhelmingly supportive. I did get a few "you're crazy" comments but said jokingly rather than judgy.

I was surprised though by the number of people who assume I want a third to get a girl. I'd be delighted to have a third boy.

Just be rude back OP. People are dumb.

To clarify - I'm not British and don't live in the UK, and I was surprised by the negativity on this board about more than 2 kids, this is why I said maybe that's a British thing.

People comment on every pregnancy and child, I don’t think it’s unique to 3 children

YANBU I got loads of comments like that, particularly because I already had a boy and a girl so 'why do you need another when you already have one of each??'

And because I had my older ones very young and found out I was pregnant with my 3rd in my mid 30a so I was being 'silly' starting all over again.

Very, very annoying. I started giving sarcastic responses and that pretty much shut most of them up.

I was a single parent (from birth) to an only child for a long time, but have luckily met someone to have a second/final attempt at creating a family.

I grew up in a small family and was jealous of those with multiple siblings. My 3 (if all goes well with birth of No3 🤞🏻) will probably hate it and want the reverse when they’re older 😂