Rude comments about 3rd child

[LittlemissMama67]

Is it just me or does it always seem to go the same way?

first baby: everyone is super excited for you

second baby: everyone is excited and hopes it’s the opposite sex of what you already have

third baby: rudeness

I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with our third (and final) baby. 70% of responses when people find out I’m pregnant is “was it planned?” What does that matter exactly 😒 or “oh dear, you’re gonna have your hands full” why can’t people just say congratulations and keep their shitty comments to themselves. I’m actually excited believe it or not and very much wanted this baby, what a crazy concept.

also the usual

you sure there’s only one in there?

scoffing at her name ( Orla ) although that came after my 7yo son blurted out the name when a known bitchy family member asked much to my dismay.

your too big for 4 months.. okay… not helpful

maybe I’m just hormonal but people can’t be right arses

I got one “you must be mad” in the supermarket from a middle aged man. I had my toddler & 4yo with me and was 30 weeks pregnant.
I replied “I’d rather be mad than rude” the lady behind me laughed out loud and he walked away.

Ignore them OP and congratulations. Orla is a lovely name.

When I got pregnant with my third my MIL told me there was no point having a third if I was just going to go back to work and not raise it.

I assume she thought the first two kids were also similarly pointless

I hate when it’s people you actually like and get along with but they’re just say really backwards things

I work with a man in his 80’s and he’s really nice but he’s just an old man and they can have backwards views and say the wrong thing at times.

he asked me if I was just going to keep popping em out and be a baby machine 🙄
noooo I’m having 3 children not 13 let’s chill

Also people seem to see having more than 2 children as some sort of massive inconvenience and a terrible idea. Am I weird or is being a parent not supposed to be enjoyable? I enjoy it obviously otherwise why would I have them?

Some of the things on this thread are really rude but some of them, I think people are just trying to find something to say. If you're on your third child we've probably discussed everything with child one and two already, but the mother probably wants more than a congratulations and then changing the subject. Try not to take it all to heart.

I hear you OP, I've been told "you must be mad" more times than I can count. Enraging.

Also having my 3rd boy and all I get is aww, are you disappointed? Were you hoping for a girl blah blah blah. A girl would have been lovely, but another boy is also lovely?

And the inevitable, will you be having any more after this one? As if 3 is already too many. Well I will have another one if I fucking want one but it's really none of your bloody business!!

For some reason when you become pregnant people feel entitled to say or ask all sorts of things.

Sometimes people just don't know what to say. So they blurt out something stupid. I probably have in the past.

A friend recently had her 5th and sent our friendship group a message upset because she felt no one had been very excited for her or asked her how she was much. I guess I understood where she was coming from but also, it just isn't as exciting so you don't get the same reaction as first time.

Do you not know the 'rules' of having children?
You have one. Then you must absolutely have another one, even if you don't want one or the first one nearly killed you, because only children are spoilt/lonely etc
Yay you're pregnant again oh look you've got one of each well done. NOW STOP.
Oh you got two the same and are now pregnant with the third, let's hope it's a different sex.
Oh no 3 of the same sex you must be so disappointed.
You've got 3/4/5 kids? Are you mad? Get a TV etc etc

Honestly it's no one's business how many kids you have or what sex they are. I'd be spending hours practicing my best withering looks.

Its probably because its more the norm now to have two. Affordability is a big factor for most. For me, by sticking to two I've been able to manage both without help and being too frazzled. I've managed to carry on working and so I've been able to afford to take them to nice places, and will be able to afford driving lessons and uni for both, whereas other family members couldn't. I was brought up in a comparable income family but as one of three, and whilst we had a good life I know my dps had to be much more careful. They certainly couldn't afford to send any of us to higher education.
The comments cut both ways. My situation is always being compared to those in the family who chose to have more than two, and being told I'm sooo lucky and don't realise how difficult it is!
All of our choices must be respected, so congratulations on your pregnancy!

You know I would not dream of asking wether a baby was planned or not because I consider it to be too personal.

So congratulations on the wonderful news of your new little girl Orla, who has the best name in the world and the best mum.🌹🌷🌹

Entirely too personal. Did you have sex without protection on purpose or did it fail?

for us the answer is we we’re planning to try in nov/dec this year and got a surprise in January but why should I have to explain that to random people it’s personal and we’re thrilled either way

I hate 'was it planned?' Well yes my baby was planned because you can't have IVF by accident!

Congratulations I'm on pregnancy number 2 and have had so many rude comments. Really shocked at the amount of people asking if it was planned!!! How rude and personal I would never ask someone that!!!! I'm not talking close friends I'm talking colleagues I barely know! I think I'm more sensitive because it wasn't planned but I don't really want to go into that with June from accounts!

i think Orla is a beautiful name it was on my list for girls but found out I'm having a boy.

as for the sure there's only one in there I've had the same, makes you feel like shit especially when I'm conscious of my weight anyway.

i genuinely do not know what's wrong with people, it's like pregnant women are public property and they can say what they want!!

I would think that at least sone people are worried about climate change. I would be surprised if someone had more than 2 these days

YANBU, I'm expecting baby no 4 and have 3DDs so I'm just not telling people for as long as possible!

When I announced dc 4 df asked had I not found out what caused it yet?
After 6/7 and 8 I stopped giving a shit...
Number 11 was a jaw dripper though!
😀

I imagine many people will be thinking of our already overpopulated planet, climate change, and the fact that we would already need two and a half planet Earths worth of resources to give the current population a basic western lifestyle, OP.
Producing an unnecessary third child causes an extra 58.6 metric tonnes of CO2 equivalent per year. One cannot expect applause!

So maybe it would be better if no one ever had kids......🤔

Realistically some people have no kids, some have 1, some 2, and some 3 or even more....I don't think a few people having more than 2 kids is causing the environmental disaster. Maybe resolving the consumerism, the disposable society, the throw away products etc etc would be more impactful than being rude to a few people that have more than 2 kids...

Agreed!

Don’t quite understand how making comments about a pregnant woman’s bump/saying she’ll have her hands full means someone is worried about climate change…

Is the plan to make passive aggressive comments to already pregnant women in order to deter other women from getting pregnant?

One certainly cannot expect applause if that’s the extent of one’s logic.

was it planned?

I had asked every pg .

It was worse with third - mainly I think as we had one of each though we'd always been upfront about wanting three and close together - people hear what they want.

Oddly after contemplating a fourth and deciding against many of the people aghast at third pg didn't belive us when we said we'd stop at three - to point MIL keeps asking how old I am as she's very broody for another GC - having been shocked at every previous pg now she feels ready to be GM at 70 - it's technically just possible but neither of us at all keen as we're looking ahead to future as the kids are all teens.

Wow my growing baby is unnecessary 😳 amazing thanks.

@Babdoc is right though, and didn't directly call your baby unnecessary, no child is unnecessary, although having lots of children in itself is unnecessary. We cannot afford for the population to keep growing as it is. No one should begrudge you and your choices @LittlemissMama67, I was from a large family myself. We are just privileged to live in a country where we can make the choices on our fertility, whatever they might be.
The reality is you need to be pretty wealthy to be able to raise 3+ children comfortably. Fortunately in our society we have benefits, free health care, free education that makes this doable.

I understand the point they were trying to make but I thought I’d lost this baby at the beginning of the pregnancy (subcnrionic hematoma) so the fact she’s still going strong is amazing for us as a family, she’s our last and this post wasn’t made for people to come on spouting about global warming. Positive vibes only, the reality of the world will still be there but we don’t need it bringing us down. If you want to do that go and have a go at the radfords