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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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BFPs following IVF to take symptoms & scans

1000 replies

Justawannabemam · 22/03/2022 07:27

Hi everyone.

I've started this group for us to chat about our symptoms, scans and any other pregancy related issues after getting a BFP following IVF/IUI/ICSI.

It is by no means to leave anyone out of the previous groups we have been in, where we all offer advice and help during an IVF cycle.

We all know hearing people's positive pregancy news can be heart breaking. I just found on the group that we are talking scans, symptoms, signs and positive tests I'm very conscious that those currently mid cycle may get upset.

We can all still give advice but maybe we could use this group as our pregnancies progress.

I've tagged who I remember from the last group, please feel free to add others as they join us on this next phase of our journey or if I have missed anyone.

@W1ngingit
@Millymillymillymillymilly
@womaninkent
@xreadytoglow
@Bluehawaii29
@Bryterlayter1

OP posts:
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36
xreadytoglow · 10/05/2022 09:47

@bajanbump that's really kind of you to share your story! What are the challenges would you say? Do you feel tempted to make contact or know who they are?
I imagine our kid will always know they are donor conceived due to us being same sex so hopefully it won't come as much of a shock and we will introduce it to them early on. However I would hope that as they get older they understand that we are their parents, we conceived together and went through the journey together to have a baby, just like any other couple. It just so happened that we needed a resource from the clinic that someone could have donated years before we used it. I understand adopted children seeking biological parents due to them going through pregnancy and choosing to give them up, so to speak. But a donor to me is completely different.

xreadytoglow · 10/05/2022 09:47

@bajanbump feel free to PM x

JMC91 · 10/05/2022 13:41

I’ve not been on a while as my mumsnet app wasn’t letting me see posts, so I deleted it for a while.
I’m15 weeks now and love seeing my little bump.

I’ve been having really uncomfortable pelvic floor area when I’ve been stood up for too long. It’s like a heaviness and it’s freaking me out a bit, feels like something needs to be pushed back in. Has anyone experienced that?

@Justawannabemam I’m so sorry what you’ve been through but it all sounds good for the singleton.

hope everyone else is going alright 💕

Bluehawaii29 · 10/05/2022 15:27

@JMC91 hey I sometimes get a similar feeling. Had a notification come up on one of my apps today to do something called kegels:
Doing pelvic floor exercises can ease pregnancy symptoms and lead to a faster post-birth recovery. Squeeze the pelvic floor muscles for up to 10 seconds, shooting for three sets of 20 a day.
Building these bladder- and uterus-supporting muscles reduces your chance of bladder issues and eases a host of other pregnancy and postpartum symptoms.

Bluehawaii29 · 10/05/2022 16:14

Just got my combined screening test results back. Thankfully was all low risk 🥰 another hurdle passed. Next appt is the 16 week midwife one

JMC91 · 10/05/2022 18:50

@Bluehawaii29 thanks for that,
yeah I text my midwife earlier and she suggested the squeeze app for pelvic floor exercises so I may give that a go.

good news on your screening :-) mine was also low.
I didn’t realise they did blood tests as well as NT now. For my first child they just did the measurement on the scan x

Bluehawaii29 · 11/05/2022 08:20

@JMC91 thank you, yes it is a big relief. They do the NT thickness and blood test now, was daunting thinking about getting a call to say high risk but I really like the way my hospital did it because they give a text the next day if you’re low risk. Waiting for results is the thing in most bad at so was really nice to cut that waiting time. So far so good since stopping meds. can’t believe it’s been three days already. This will be the first weekend I can go out freely and for as long as I want, so excited x

Overlyanxious · 11/05/2022 09:43

@Bluehawaii29 that’s great about the low risk and such a good system from your hospital. I just managed to get mine and also low risk. I was told to ring the midwife for my latest urine test results (luckily no UTI now) and I cheekily asked for them. It is so exciting not using meds. Enjoy your freedom!

@JMC91 congrats on the low risk as well. Is your pelvic floor better today?

xreadytoglow · 11/05/2022 11:03

@Bluehawaii29 @Overlyanxious congrats on low risk!
Mine also came back as low risk. My Edwards one was like 1 in 93,000 but my Downs was 1 in 210. That kinda scared me for a little until I saw it said it was all low risk. I just expected another number in the thousands. I looked online and it says it's still like a 0.45% chance but I can't stop worrying still 🙈

Bluehawaii29 · 11/05/2022 11:14

@xreadytoglow i think NT thickness is quite accurate for Down syndrome. Ours was 1.4mm and they say anything less than 3mm is low risk. Over 6mm is significant high risk of it. You should have the measurement on your 12 week scan report but your figures look good and I’m sure it’ll be fine x

xreadytoglow · 11/05/2022 11:16

@Bluehawaii29 yes my NT was 1.3mm so that's good.

JMC91 · 12/05/2022 05:54

@Overlyanxious yes thanks, pelvic floor was better yesterday. I’ve started doing the kegel exercises and I wasn’t on my feet as much.
it’s one of those things you hear of people having a problem with but you don’t think it will happen to you 😕

2mumlife · 12/05/2022 18:33

@xreadytoglow Its disapointing to hear you've been getting asked a lot of questions, particularly from co-workers where that really isn't appropriate. My partner's Irish Catholic father has even been great, and see's it very much as "its your buisness", and other than my dad asking at one point if it was our first IVF try and me saying "no, its taken awhile" they've not pried which I'm grateful for.

@Overlyanxious My DP always called her parents by their first names as a child, and nephew (her sisters child) does the same, so I think she'll try to end up just being called by her first name by our child. I'm going for being called mum/mummy though lol.

@Bluehawaii29 Glad your 12 week scan went well and everything is looking normal and you're feeling more positive about the actual scan procedure as well after

@bajanbump Thanks for sharing your history. I did quite a lot of research on experience of donor conceived children before we started trying, as felt really conscious about the ethics (from the perspective of any child). I'm hopeful that making someones donor conceived history known in an age-appropriate way from birth (rather than your experience of finding out later in life) might make things a bit easier for the child, as well as being able to provide a couple of photos, a letter written by the donor and a recording of them speaking if the child wants those things. If you don't mind me asking, did you ever want to / were you ever able to to find out anything about your donor? Please of course don't answer if you don't wish to x

@JMC91 No expeirence mysel, but I'd suggest you refer yourself to the physio if you're alerady experiencing pelvic pain - I know my area they have a special pregnancy pelvic pain clinic I believe.

Age makes a massive difference to your combined screening 'risk' score, as well as your PAPP-A which is what they are testing in your blood.

Had one of those super frustrating days when my brain just isn't working. Had my last cervix check today (everything grand) and saw the midwife to get my fundal height done (spot on for weeks) and FINALLY got to listen to the heartbeat :D But then I totally forgot all about the Mat1b form and everything else at the damn appointment, which is really frustrating as my work HR wont do anything about sorting Mat leave without the Mat1B. Called my midwife team after I got home, and basically got confirmed that since I was being seen by consultant I've sorted of been missed off a load of things. SO I've got to go back in. Earliest they could do was in another 2 weeks. But they're going to sort out my Mat1b, baby box and a few other things then, which will hopefully mean I'm then up to date and back in their system. The've also now got me added onto the list to receive communication about the next antenatal class as well. Brain fug continued into the afternoon, when I turned up 30mins late for a dental appointment becuase I put wrong time in my diary, so had to reschedule that too. And I have a sore throat and keep sneezing so I think I'm coming down with something :( You know when its just been one of those days?

2mumlife · 12/05/2022 18:41

Also re: donors, I watched "our father" on netflix the other day (about a fertility doctor who inseminated women without thier consent with his own sperm) - absolutely terrifying.

Was things like this that made us go with a regulated fertility clinic and use a sperm bank rather than these Facebook pages others choose to use to TTC through ad hoc arrangements. There was a really interested podcast we also listened to called "Male Order" that discussed non-regulatory sperm donation thats worth a listen, but also solidified for us that a regulated sperm bank was the right choice for us. Was really interesting though hearing about the perspective of those who want to use a known donor in the UK, and I could see why others might be forced to go down that route if they didn't want an annonymous donor.

bajanbump · 12/05/2022 18:53

Sorry guys! My morning sickness has been really bad these past few days so have been struggling to exist

@xreadytoglow @2mumlife for me the main challenge has been not knowing what made me, me. When I found out I struggled with looking myself at the mirror bc I didn't know who I was. Even if I love my parents and I'm not mad at them or anything I did grow up knowing I was different even if I could not pinpoint what it was, when I found out it all made kinda sense but it also brought a lot of suffering.

I would say the other main challenge has been being denied a relationship with my (potential) siblings or grandparents who did not agree to "donate me" if that makes sense.

Re the donor, I dont have any particular desire of searching for him (i couldn't even if i wanted anyway). I would like to see a photo maybe but even then i dont know bc i dont want anyone to occupy the space my dad has in my heart or head, not even the slightest. I know 100% who my parents are.

What I can share tho, from DC I know who tried to contact their donor.. some have great stories but I would say it's more often than not that the donor doesn't want anything to do with their offspring. That can be super painful for children who have grown up knowing they were DC and idolizing the donor and dreaming about the moment they will meet him. As I said, this is not always the case, but it is important to prepare them. In my opinion, the people who have it harder are the ones who see a father figure on the donor. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict what DC person will feel like that.

Overlyanxious · 13/05/2022 19:33

@JMC91 glad to hear it’s feeling better.

@2mumlife that’s annoying you’ve been missed off a load of lists - but good you’re now on the list. Also frustrating about the dentist. I’ve messed up a few things recently.

@bajanbump sorry to hear your morning sickness has been so bad. It is horrible.

@Bluehawaii29 and @xreadytoglow how are you doing?

My week has been a bit rubbish - we had £60 worth of petrol stolen out of car and my Holland and Barrett account got hacked so waiting for around a £200 refund. Hoping for a nice weekend

Bluehawaii29 · 13/05/2022 19:34

Hey guys sorry have had day of Hell. Friday 13th definitely exists. Worst day to go back to work in the building. Morning was back to back patients and I was feeling breathless and hardly able to keep up. One patient was having a go at me that I was 45 mins late. Then had a panic attack at lunchtime I think because I was just in shock being there after so long and just was looking around and thinking of everything as a hazard. Checked my heart rate with the sats probe and was 133bpm at one point so informed the partner who rushed in and checked if I was ok but said to wait 10 mins to see if I feel better. Tried to take deep breaths and eventually it settled and managed to complete the day but my back is killing now, had to take 2 paracetamols when I got home. Just wanted to ask why am I struggling so much? I’m 13 weeks now, is anyone else finding work this difficult?

Bluehawaii29 · 13/05/2022 19:39

@Overlyanxious sorry to hear your week has not been good. Hope weekend is better for you
@2mumlife I watched our father too, what a horror story and what a sick man thinking by having loads of kids that he would be commended by God in heaven!
@bajanbump morning sickness is terrible. I still got it before work this morning. The retching is so bad and stomach muscles go so tight and feel like I can’t breath until I sit down. Hang in there x

Overlyanxious · 13/05/2022 20:09

@Bluehawaii29 I’m sorry you’ve had such a rubbish day. I think your going back to work after so long is the reason you’ve had a particularly bad day - it’s quite a shock to the system. I do find I get really tired and achey after being in work - so I think it’s normal you have aches etc. I managed to avoid going into the office for a while so I think I’m still getting used to it as well. I think it will get easier though as we get used to it.

is there anything you can do to make your day a bit easier e.g have less appointments in the day until you are back in the swing of things?

JMC91 · 13/05/2022 20:26

@Bluehawaii29 that is so full on, I hope it gets easier as you go in a few more times. Sounds very stressful.

@Overlyanxious that all sucks, I didn’t know people could steal petrol from cars, who would do that!

@bajanbump hope the morning sickness eases. Take it easy as you can

@2mumlife glad you got to hear the heartbeat 💓 and that other checks were good.
hopefully your forms and other things will be sorted soon

x x

Bluehawaii29 · 13/05/2022 20:27

@Overlyanxious yeah I think you’re right, was just a total shock to my system and really needed to be eased in to it but rota was exactly the same as a normal days that I would have worked months ago. Now I’ve managed to get them to restructure the Monday pm and Friday when I’m face to face to make it a bit more bearable and going to have to figure out how to help myself in terms of the sitting for long periods and back ache problem I get. If anyone has any ideas please let me know x

xreadytoglow · 13/05/2022 21:40

@bajanbump thank you for sharing that with us! It's a good insight and I hope that you overcome your challenges. I can't imagine how hard that must be to process being told that later on in life. I hope your morning sickness gets better too! Luckily I didn't suffer with any sickness, although I wished for it at the start, I'm so glad I didn't get it. It sounds awful. Hopefully it dies down for you soon!

@Bluehawaii29 @Overlyanxious oh my god we're having rubbish days huh!? It's definitely Friday the 13th!!! Our car went to car heaven on Weds night, we're supposed to be moving our stuff into the new house this weekend once all the carpets are down. We were told that the car was ready to pick up tonight. Drove 30 mins to be told actually it's not and it'll be another week! AND the carpets we picked were discontinued but we only just found that out at 4pm today 🙃 shocking. So no carpets upstairs, which means we can't assemble our bed yet. Mattress on the floor it is !!

@Bluehawaii29 I'm also struggling at work. I'm very tired and breathless and things just seem a lot harder. I'm finding it hard to bend in the middle and getting up and down so much is doing me no favours. I have a shooting pain in the crotch which I'm putting down to ligaments but ofc that's worrying me too! I hope you cope better at work next week, take it easy, don't push yourself and just take it a day at a time.

Bluehawaii29 · 13/05/2022 22:00

@xreadytoglow oh wow yes this has been a crazy week and definitely feel like Friday 13th made things worse for us. Hope your carpets get sorted soon. That’s so annoying when these kind of delays happen. Yes that’s how I been feeling at work too. Had a few of those crotch pains too and the back ache got so bad near the end couldn’t properly bend to reach the baby on baby check as the bed was very low and involved me bending lower to be able to do the checks. Feeling a little bit better now but definitely gonna check for a pregnancy pillow tomorrow so I can lie on my left side in bed because finding lying on back is getting increasingly uncomfortable as well. I wish we didn’t have to work in pregnancy!

SUMMERTIME02 · 14/05/2022 10:16

Hi all this is my first ever BFP. After 5 years of ttc, i am pregnant via ivf. Whist i am incredibly grateful for this blessing im also very worried. Im 5 weeks and 2 days today and my cervix feels quite low. Last week it felt high. I feel this as im inserting estrogen tablets there. Anyone else have a low cervix? Is this normal, should i be worried?

Bluehawaii29 · 16/05/2022 12:32

Hey everyone hope you are good
so I got the breakdown of my combined screening- was low risk for both downs (1 in 799) and edward/ patau (1 in 100 000)
had the following figures:
NT 1.4mm
b hcg 1.69
papp-A 0.49

was wondering how others did?

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