Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Does my daughter NEED a sister?

60 replies

mama0f3 · 20/03/2022 15:59

I'm 1 of 3 and have 2 brothers and always felt (and told by many) that I was missing out growing up not having a sister. I know it's idealistic as some sisters don't have the best relationships. When I had dd I wasn't expecting it to be a girl and was so grateful just to have her and ds after 2 losses.

We're expecting dc3 after a long while and built myself up and was hoping for a dd so she could have what I didn't, was surprised it was ds2. Either way I am super grateful and hope for a healthy baby which I definitely don't take for granted and this baby will be loved.

My daughter always says she wants a healthy baby but has let on she would also love a sister. I have explained these things are out of our control.

We haven't shared the sex of the baby but we suspect she knows it's a boy which she's fine and excited about. She'll make an amazing sister. Her older brother doesn't seem to mind either way and the big gap not sure he'll be interested in interacting with a baby in his teenage years.

We do have such a close beautiful bond and I really hope it remains as she gets older. I have people telling me how amazing it is for daughters to have sisters and them growing up together, the bond etc.

I know often it's a case of personalities amongst kids rather than sex or age gaps so I'm sure she'll be fine either way as she has such an easy going personality.

I know these type of threads can end up really judgemental but just sharing my vulnerable and honest feelings hopefully in a safe space and would love to know if anyone has similar experiences.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LoudingVoice · 20/03/2022 16:01

I have a brother & a sister and I’m much closer to my brother, I barely see my sister tbh we’ve never been close so no, your dd doesn’t need a sister.

Original poster

mama0f3 · 20/03/2022 16:07

@LoudingVoice

I have a brother & a sister and I’m much closer to my brother, I barely see my sister tbh we’ve never been close so no, your dd doesn’t need a sister.

Do you think this is due to personality or do you have a closer age gap to your brother?

OP posts:

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 20/03/2022 16:11

O have a brother. I never felt like imissed out on anything.
I have two daughters and feel a little sad they don't have a big brother like I did!

LoudingVoice · 20/03/2022 16:29

Do you think this is due to personality or do you have a closer age gap to your brother?

Personality, my brother & sister are much closer in age and they’re not close.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 20/03/2022 16:30

I don’t get on with my sister. I would have been much happier without her.

2KidsNoTime · 20/03/2022 16:45

I have a sister (no brother, so maybe not a fair comparison) and we're not that close. Never were tbh. We're just fundamentally quite different personalities. I love her dearly and her kids are amazing - I enjoy spending time with her now we're both adults but if we weren't sisters I doubt we'd ever be friends!

EIisheva · 20/03/2022 16:58

I had two sisters and really struggle to like them to be honest and it’s definitely reciprocated

Were you not worried though about
Your son not having a brother ?

elp30 · 20/03/2022 16:58

I have one sibling, a sister, but she's eight years older than me.
We lost our mother at ages 10 & 18.
She became my surrogate mother and that is why we are close.
I'm fairly certain that if our circumstances were different i.e., mother still alive, we may not have been close at all.

I have two sons and a daughter and my daughter is very close to one of her brothers (her oldest brother is nine years older). I asked her if she felt she missed out in having a sister and she said that she did when she was very young but realizes that she likes being the only girl and doesn't have to share anything with anyone else like clothes, makeup, etc... She says she makes up for it with plenty of female friends.

ChloeHel · 20/03/2022 17:00

I have a brother, and I’m pretty close to him, but I always wanted a sister. The age gap between my brother and I is 5 years so I missed having a sibling in school and always thought if I had a sister in school she could have looked out for me…probably not haha.

My mum has a brother and is super close to him! My dad has a brother and sister and isn’t close to either. My DH has a brother and sister and again isn’t close to either. So I guess you never know what a sibling relationship could be like regardless of sex! :)

DepthOfTheAbyss · 20/03/2022 17:01

I love my sister a lot. We’re so close and have a lot in common. I count myself so lucky. My Dd doesn’t have a sister but amazing brothers. She’s lucky too. It would have been lovely for her to have what I have but as you said, it’s out of our control and she could have just as an amazing relationship with her siblings.

pumpkinpie01 · 20/03/2022 17:02

How old are your dd and ds?

Midlifemusings · 20/03/2022 17:04

What a weird train of thought.

Given how many women grow up happy and healthy without a sister, it clearly isn't a need.

Might it have added something positive to your daughter's life - maybe. But why live in hypotheticals. Families come in every assortment of combinations of people and close relationships are not defined by biological sex.

mdh2020 · 20/03/2022 17:27

DD never wanted a sister and has never missed having one. I have two sisters and could do without them both.

mdh2020 · 20/03/2022 17:28

There’s no guarantee that siblings will get on with each other or help each other out.

Katela18 · 20/03/2022 17:29

I think sex has nothing to do with it and personality types everything.

I have 3 brothers and am the only girl - age gaps 1 year, 3 years and 5 years. I am very close to them all.

My cousins are 2 girls and 1 boy and none of them get along. They will either get along or they won't be I think their sex has very little to do with it ultimately

Sushi7 · 20/03/2022 17:32

How old are your dc? There’s 13 months between my db and I and we are incredibly close. There’s 9 years between me and my other db. Not as close but I love him. My friend (female) has a sister who is 11 months older than her. They are not close at all. Never have been. Rarely speak to each other. Another friend (female) has a sister who is 3 years older than her. Again, rarely speak to each other. My siblings and my friends and their siblings are all full blood siblings.

Starlightstarbright1 · 20/03/2022 17:35

I have a sister 15months apart..

According to everyone we should be close.. we are chalk and cheese and aren't close at all.

MadMadMadamMim · 20/03/2022 17:37

I can't stand my sister, personally. We are NC. I'd have been much happier growing up if she didn't exist.

I also have two DDs who get on extremely well and always have done.

The relationships between siblings are complex and variable. Your DD doesn't need a sister, and actually had you been able to provide her with one it might have been detrimental.

On a slightly separate note I see your DS will be a teenager interacting with a baby - in my experience teenage boys are actually often fabulous with babies and toddlers. They happily bring themselves down to that level to play lego, etc with small children.

AHungryCaterpillar · 20/03/2022 17:40

I don’t speak to my sister at all she’s a vile person and we are only 18 months apart so no guarantee she will be close to a sister.

canichange · 20/03/2022 17:43

I have two sisters and a brother. I am extremely close with my brother, not so much with my sisters. I love them all, but if anything happened to my brother it would literally be like loosing a limb. Nothing to do with age gaps, we are just like a female/male version of each other.

Thinkbiglittleone · 20/03/2022 17:51

I think siblings could either get on or not. It's a roll of a dice with any siblings, just because they are the same sex, doesn't automatically mean they will get on.

I have a brother and we are really close, I obviously don't know how it would have panned out with a sister, I used to tell my mum I never wanted one , but I definitely didn't feel like I missed out, any friends who had sisters fought like cat and dog.

I think you are really overthinking this and I have never heard anyone think a daughter needed a sister.

Luckystar1 · 20/03/2022 17:53

I only have a brother so I don’t know personally, and was close to him growing up, but now as adults we rarely see each other or speak (no falling out just life). I would love a sister and definitely see my friends who have sisters having a lovely time and a lot of support (and generally closer family ties all round, but that may just be them)

botanicalart · 20/03/2022 18:04

My sister told me recently that her life had been much better before I was born.

Thanks for letting me know but I had no control on anything.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 20/03/2022 18:07

My dd got several db's before her 2 dsis's when she was 16 +17. As an adult she wonders what the fuss was about. Teen dd's aren't a positive thing atm.
Maybe in time they may be appreciated!!

RealRaymondReddington · 20/03/2022 18:08

No, she doesn't need a sister.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread