Does my daughter NEED a sister?

[mama0f3]

I'm 1 of 3 and have 2 brothers and always felt (and told by many) that I was missing out growing up not having a sister. I know it's idealistic as some sisters don't have the best relationships. When I had dd I wasn't expecting it to be a girl and was so grateful just to have her and ds after 2 losses.

We're expecting dc3 after a long while and built myself up and was hoping for a dd so she could have what I didn't, was surprised it was ds2. Either way I am super grateful and hope for a healthy baby which I definitely don't take for granted and this baby will be loved.

My daughter always says she wants a healthy baby but has let on she would also love a sister. I have explained these things are out of our control.

We haven't shared the sex of the baby but we suspect she knows it's a boy which she's fine and excited about. She'll make an amazing sister. Her older brother doesn't seem to mind either way and the big gap not sure he'll be interested in interacting with a baby in his teenage years.

We do have such a close beautiful bond and I really hope it remains as she gets older. I have people telling me how amazing it is for daughters to have sisters and them growing up together, the bond etc.

I know often it's a case of personalities amongst kids rather than sex or age gaps so I'm sure she'll be fine either way as she has such an easy going personality.

I know these type of threads can end up really judgemental but just sharing my vulnerable and honest feelings hopefully in a safe space and would love to know if anyone has similar experiences.

Well part of that is societal but it's also down to how people raise their sons...

We all get the siblings we get (or don't) and none of us have any idea whether our lives would have been better or worse with different ones. I'm an only child - I don't believe that any child 'needs' a sibling or a sibling of a particular sex. They might like it, or dislike it. But need - nope.

I have a sister whom I'm close to in age and emotionally, but as the younger one I have to say NO she did not NEED to have me as I don't exist in relation to her! She might say different .

OP as long as you foster a close relationship between your kids and butt out of it a bit (i.e.acknowledge that sometimes their relationship has nothing to do with you) your kids'll be grand.

I have one sister . We didn’t get on at all growing up but get on ok now. I am far closer to a couple of friends though and we live in different countries. My younger boys are very close. My eldest is a few years older and more interested in his friends. I don’t think your daughter needs a sister. She will most likely form close friendships with females as she gets older and hopefully close bonds with her brothers.

I don’t really understand, wouldn’t you have worried for your son not having a brother if this baby had been a girl? You no she doesn’t need a sister, and that all kids have different personalities. Don’t over think it OP. Either way one of your children was going to end up the only sibling of that sex, and neither child is less important so you havnt missed out by not having a girl here. I have one of each and they have lots in common, their personalities are just similar. I’m sure your DD won’t miss out, good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP.

I have 2 brothers. I can't really imagine having a sister and haven't missed it at all. I love having brothers. I'm sure it's because I'm close to my brothers that I get on so well with men and have a few male friends. My daughter doesn't have a sister and she's perfectly happy!

Of course not having a sister does not mean your daughter is missing out on something wonderful. She has what she has, end of. I was an only child, not by parents choice. My childhood was all that I knew so what did I miss out on? According to many, it was a sibling. But you cannot miss or loose out on what you don't have.

@pumpkinpie01 @Sushi7

Ds10 and dd8, so a big gap with ds2

@Unsureaboutit9 @katienana
thank you both for your kind and encouraging words ❤️

@mama0f3 Ds10 and dd8, so a big gap with ds2

I would say dc don’t “miss out” on having a sibling of the same sex if there’s an age gap bigger than 4 years. I say this because they won’t be interested and do the same activities as each other. They will always be at very different stages in their life. As I mentioned before, I have a db who’s barely 1 year younger than me and the other db is 9 years younger than me. All full blood siblings but I’m closer to the one closest in age to me. I did wonder what it would be like to have a dsis but since I was a teen I’ve been glad I’m the only daughter! No female cousins either. Never felt I missed out as I made friends easily.