Breastfeeding - Controversial opinions.

[2under2in2022]

Soooo…. There is A LOT to this. But ultimately it's about breastfeed and the PIL.

OH went to his parents today to try and hash out some of the issues and breastfeeding came up. Because with DS they left the room when I was feeding him, asked me to leave the room, took their GC out of the room when I was breastfeeding and made it clear it was “disgusting”. I actually got told by the MIL to my face that breastfeeding was "selfish". MIL also used to walk about work DS when he was crying and clearly hungry and wouldn't hand him back and it made me feel physically sick and leak milk.

FIL has said he’s “65 years old and finds it highly embarrassing that someone gets their breast out infront of him & it’s not something he can get over or deal with”

MIL said “there are 2 kinds of people either those who are shy and hide away breastfeeding or those who are really pro and want it to be a public show”

OH said “actually it’s because she doesn’t want to be excluded because she’s breastfeeding and it’s not a public show and it’s totally natural and something she wants to do”

An example of Christmas 2020 when I was made to go upstairs to feed DS and spent at least 60% of my time “hiding away” feeding DS rather than enjoying Christmas

His parents have said “there needs to be a level of compromise” 🤷🏻‍♀️

For context. OH and his 2 brothers were not breastfed. And the 2 existing GC were not breastfed. My DS was breastfed and I fully intend to breastfeed DD who arrives in 14 weeks which is why it's now come up.

Thoughts??

Sorry but there’s no reason why you can’t be discreet when breastfeeding, especially if there are older family members present or people who you know will feel uncomfortable. A blanket or shawl would solve the problem.

Have you announced to normal people the gender of dc2? Make it without a doubt the biggest task to make them find out. T shirts. Car stickers. Neon sign on dh's brow.

@Donra

Sorry but there’s no reason why you can’t be discreet when breastfeeding, especially if there are older family members present or people who you know will feel uncomfortable. A blanket or shawl would solve the problem.

Sorry but why should she have to. Maybe she feels uncomfortable, maybe baby utterly despises having a blanket over their head feeding, maybe because it makes it v challenging to latch a baby when you’re faffing around with a blanket.

Whilst baby is latching or coming off they could simply look the other way as to not offend their delicate sensibilities.

Why should OP make her life difficult. Babies as they get older pop off and on, come off to look around to to burp. With a shawl it’s 18 times the hassle, plus v easy for a baby to overheat

Not sure where to start with this quite frankly. They are batshit, rude and massive over steppers (there aren’t enough adjectives for how they are!). Your baby = your rules. No one cares if they like or agree. It’s up to you and your OH. Literally nothing to do with them. I’m amused by the selfish comment -translated it means you aren’t doing as they want . Personally l would go LC or NC.

Don’t take their craziness to heart or let it unsettle you

Sorry but why should she have to
This is the problem right here. The “I Have A Right To Feed Brigade”, as a pp called it. No consideration for modesty or anyone else’s feelings.

It’s not about feeding, and their views on that are disgusting. They’re arseholes. Arseholes who seem to think they can be nasty, insulting, rude, abusive and yet still be part of your family and have access to your children. Time, finally, to decide they are not.

No good will come of letting them shit all over what’s supposed to be a happy time with the arrival of your second child. No one has a relationship with my child who isn’t pleasant and respectful towards us as her parents. No one.

Good grandparents are great. No grandparents are better than this kind of toxic bullying arsehole.

Have a proper chat with your husband and tell him you’re going to protect yourself and your children from harmful influences.

Well their choice - they can overcome their batshit issues with the human female body doing entirely what it is designed to do or they don’t see you or their grandchild. I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of crap for a second.

@Donra

Sorry but why should she have to This is the problem right here. The “I Have A Right To Feed Brigade”, as a pp called it. No consideration for modesty or anyone else’s feelings.

Your issues around normal bodily functions and the sustenance of human infants are no one else’s problem.

And as for your mother in law not letting you have your son back when he was hungry and wanted to feed! I would have thrown her out at that moment.

@Donra

Sorry but why should she have to This is the problem right here. The “I Have A Right To Feed Brigade”, as a pp called it. No consideration for modesty or anyone else’s feelings.

But they do have a right, ffs! That's what breasts are for - feeding.

I wouldn’t be seeing them, and if they ask why they aren’t seeing you or baby, I’d tell them that it’s to spare their blushes because you know they don’t like seeing breastfeeding. Then it’s up to them to ask to see you in your house if they want to, and they’ll have to put up with it if so. Definitely don’t visit them!

But tbh I wouldn’t see them at all. They sound absolutely awful!

I breastfed my own baby for three years. I never once felt the need to waft my naked breasts around in front of male relatives.

@ChoiceMummy and @Donra, I suggest you both trot the fuck on instead of trying to make breastfeeding something that is somehow shameful and meant to be hidden....
Alternatively, you could always transport yourselves back a century or two in time. HTH.

Breastfeed - great child is fed

Formula - great child is fed

Both are normal and natural.

Formula feeding may be 'normal' but it's certainly not 'natural' and never can be.

Milk created by their mother to feed newborn cattle, processed in a factory, rehydrated in a plastic bottle and fed through a fake silicon nipple is most definitely not what nature intended for human babies.

@Donra

I breastfed my own baby for three years. I never once felt the need to waft my naked breasts around in front of male relatives.

For the love of Moses, where does OP allude to 'wafting' her breasts anywhere?

[quote vipersnest1]**@ChoiceMummy* and @Donra*, I suggest you both trot the fuck on instead of trying to make breastfeeding something that is somehow shameful and meant to be hidden....
Alternatively, you could always transport yourselves back a century or two in time. HTH.[/quote]
Absolutely.

I'm not convinced either are for real, I mean what the fuck? The fact that other women even think like this in 2022 is staggering and quite frankly, disturbing.

Inspired by @ChocolateDeficitDisorder I would ask them if they therefore would never like you to serve them milk as it is in effect being breastfeed by a cow?

@Donra

I breastfed my own baby for three years. I never once felt the need to waft my naked breasts around in front of male relatives.

But no one is doing the look at me booby dance! She’s latching a baby fgs. If you actually breastfed for years then you’d know some babies hate covers, baby’s pop on and off, get fussy, get windy, want to switch sides etc the list goes on. If a woman wants to cover up in a shawl or a nursing cover then cool, have at it but equally if she finds it difficult why should she have to. Breastfeeding is a feminist issue.

How can you possibly make someone else feeding their baby about you with this ‘no consideration for other peoples feelings’ bollox. I really doubt that FIL is triggered seeing women in a bikini, often you see more then.

[quote 2under2in2022]@ChoiceMummy

Not a flasher. Very much used a nursing pillow and a breastfeeding top with a nursing bra and a muzzle on top 🤷🏻‍♀️

Unless I was at home, in bed, in the middle of the night then boobs fly everywhere through tiredness 🤣[/quote]
Not a flasher. Very much used a nursing pillow and a breastfeeding top with a nursing bra and a muzzle on top 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's your problem right there. I'd ditch the muzzle. Impossible for the baby to latch on while muzzled.

Make it clear to your OH that their continued relationship with your kids is conditional on them accepting bf. If they can’t they don’t get to see them. It’s really as simple as that

@Donra

Sorry but why should she have to This is the problem right here. The “I Have A Right To Feed Brigade”, as a pp called it. No consideration for modesty or anyone else’s feelings.

What feelings?

Not to derail but what’s a muzzle on top?

@Kanfuzed123

Not to derail but what’s a muzzle on top?

I assume it's a typo for muslin.

[quote vipersnest1]**@ChoiceMummy* and @Donra*, I suggest you both trot the fuck on instead of trying to make breastfeeding something that is somehow shameful and meant to be hidden....
Alternatively, you could always transport yourselves back a century or two in time. HTH.[/quote]
Ironically when people talk about people being from the 50s or back a century, it doesnt apply in situations like this, only in modern times has there been shame about breast feeding. Centuries ago it wasnt a deal at all, completely normal.

Oh bloody hell, im slow aren’t I… here I was thinking it was a way to get the baby latched built into the top. What.an.idiot