Labour...how bad is it?

motherofdragons54 · 2022-02-28T19:02:43+00:00

I'm approaching my due date and I'm freaking out. I already have a ds but he was born by emergency section after 20 hours of labour so I have experience with contractions but not vaginal delivery. This time I'm on track for a VBAC and I feel so scared of the unknown. I've been doing hypnobirthing practice with breathing techniques and it keeps reiterating how important it is to stay calm and breathe through the pain but I'm worried I will just panic. I'm scared of tearing and stitches. I just feel so much more worried after having had things go so wrong in my last labour.

Sexnotgender · 28/02/2022 19:05

I’ve torn twice. I swear I DID NOT feel it.

I only had gas and air and it honestly was absolutely fine.

Stay home in your safe space as long as possible.

I laboured in my bedroom. Told DH when it was time to go. I was in hospital less than an hour before she was born.

PinkButtercups · 28/02/2022 19:07

It depends.
For me, I'd say it went okay. I was in labour Wednesday-Saturday. Pushing for 4 hours because DS was back to back that's why it took so long. A doctor came in and turned him round when he realised DS was becoming distressed. Had to pause pushing for an hour which was a little bit hard because you're fighting the urge to push. I had gas and air and pethidine which did make me throw up but allowed me to drift in and out of sleep throughout the contractions.

I did end up with a second degree tear which I didn't feel happen.
When you push there is like a ring of fire when the head is there. That does sting but once the head is put that bit it does go.

Little injection after to numb me and stitched up. Didn't being stitched up and only felt slightly uncomfortable for a day or so.

I think I caused my tear as I pushed a few times when I didn't have a contraction.

Only push when you have a contraction. I was tried and exhausted by this point and wanted him out .

PinkButtercups · 28/02/2022 19:08

Past not put.

YouMadeABear · 28/02/2022 19:12

I didn't feel my tear either. Contractions and dilation was the horrendous part and you've done that. The actual vaginal deliveries (I've had two) were fine and that was just gas and air.

Justkeeppedaling · 28/02/2022 19:16

Not nearly as bad as all the scare stories people will tell you about.
Hard work, but billions of women do it around the world all the time.

Casheeeew · 28/02/2022 19:16

It was bad... Until I had an epidural. Midwife had to tell me when to push add I could not feel a THING.

Cherryblossoms85 · 28/02/2022 19:18

It's absolutely fine. Get a tens machine, make your DH practice attaching it. I went through two labours with no other pain relief, thinking it didn't hurt that much. Then I switched off the machine just to see. I was wrong!

SickAndTiredAgain · 28/02/2022 19:18

I did feel my tear (2nd degree, almost 3rd) but it didn’t hurt more than the contraction, there was just a definite feeling of tearing, but only for a second.

If you did 20 hours of labour, for me that was the hardest part. I found pushing easier - not because it hurt less (but I didn’t think it hurt more) but mentally it was easier as I felt more like I was actually doing something (as opposed to the contractions just doing what they were doing and I was just along for the ride) and I had a more tangible sense of progressing and getting to the end.

Cotswoldmama · 28/02/2022 19:19

My first was premature and I was in labour for about 4 days so I was really exhausted. That labour felt tough because I was so tired. I didn't tear but got a graze, which actually was more sore than the tear I got in my second labour. The pain was fine, I had gas and air, pethadin and diamorphine. They meant the pain was manageable. My second labour was very different he was 6 days before due date and the labour was about 3 hours long. It was amazing I had gas and air and I did have a tear and needed two stitches but I didn't feel it. I felt so amazing after I could have done it again and again! For me it's the recovery that's painful, my uterus going back into position and the bruising.

DarlingDarwin · 28/02/2022 19:20

You’ve done the hard bit. The actual birth is a relief!!!

babyboybluewithnumbertwox · 28/02/2022 19:53

Contractions are by far the worst bit! Pushing and delivering is a relief 🎉

MollieSheep1 · 28/02/2022 20:10

I've had three babies, with increasing pain relief each time as the contractions were bad (all three got themselves back to back during labour, lucky me). With DD1 I had a 2nd degree tear and I must admit it did feel painful when pushing but only right at the end just before she was born. If you do tear (hopefully not!) then the aftercare is so important to avoid infection.
After having a bit of a hard time with DD1 I made sure I told midwives/Drs exactly what I wanted to happen when in hospital for DS2 and then again DS3 with pain relief, procedures etc. Be sure to advocate (or get someone on your behalf to) for your birth plan.

annlee3817 · 28/02/2022 20:16

The hypnobirthing breathing kept me calm, it hurt, but it kept me calm and focussed. I had a second degree tear, and used the gas and air for the stitches and honestly didn't have any issues with them, they numbed the area and I think gave me a painkiller suppository. I had no problems with the healing process either, just made sure I leant forward when peeing so it didn't hit the stitches and kept hydrated.

girlabouthome · 28/02/2022 20:21

Mine was beautiful.
Had her at home in our kitchen.
No pain relief, just a birth pool.

I really educated myself and trusted my body after a horrific hospital birth first time round.

PepaMadrigal · 28/02/2022 20:22

Induction, ARM and syntocinon drip both times. First time I had the epidural which I wouldn’t recommend. Second time I used gas and air (amazing) and one dose of Pethidine (out of sheer necessity due to the induction and drip). Hypnobirthing helped me SO MUCH but not with the pain, just helped me not lose my shit.

I’ve heard “natural” labours are less intense. Either way it’s no picnic but fear is definitely not your friend, you have to climb the mountain one way or another x

JemimaTiggywinkle · 28/02/2022 20:26

I found the contractions horrendously painful. The actual pushing bit for me only lasted 20 mins and wasn’t painful compared to the contractions.

I had an episiotomy and I honestly didn’t feel it at all. Stitches after were a bit uncomfortable - lots of poking and prodding.

But I’d say you’ve probably experienced the worst bit already in your first labour.

Junobug · 28/02/2022 20:27

Try and let your body guide you. With my first, I really pushed and ended up tearing and needed stitching (didn't feel the tear). With my others, I tried really hard not to actively push myself which meant that it could just be a bit slower and more controlled. It definitely helped. I was lucky that I didn't have pushy midwives though and they let me just get on with my thing.

MaggieMooh · 28/02/2022 20:30

How long is a piece of string? I was a tiny baby and well positioned so I shot out of my mother in 30 minutes without so much as a tear. But my own baby was large and facing the front so he couldn’t descend properly, he didn’t fit out of the hole and the pressure cracked my pelvic bone, the pain was intense and both of us would have died if they hadn’t hacked me with scalpels to get him out. It’s left me with permanent injuries. You really don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Trinacham · 28/02/2022 20:32

I was terrified about giving birth. I can, hand on heart say, it was nothing to worry about and I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I actually enjoyed it. I did do the hypnobirthing course because I was so nervous.
I had a 4 hour labour, which was quite unusual (especially being my first). I had second degree tears. I was so scared of having tears but I can honestly say you don't feel it happen. The stitching up wasn't bad either as they do numb you (and the injection isn't bad).
For me I would say I found the most painful part was the contractions, but even that wasn't as bad as I was expecting! First thing I said to my DH was that I'd do it again.. minutes after I'd given birth!

Sexnotgender · 28/02/2022 20:32

@MaggieMooh

How long is a piece of string? I was a tiny baby and well positioned so I shot out of my mother in 30 minutes without so much as a tear. But my own baby was large and facing the front so he couldn’t descend properly, he didn’t fit out of the hole and the pressure cracked my pelvic bone, the pain was intense and both of us would have died if they hadn’t hacked me with scalpels to get him out. It’s left me with permanent injuries. You really don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Maybe don’t share that story with a woman about to give birth.

Silverswirl · 28/02/2022 20:33

Contractions near the end and the transition to the pushing stage is the hardest bit. Get through that and your on to the actual pushing. I am a major wimp with a v low pain threshold and whilst it burned for a bit whilst the head was coming out it’s actually not as bad as I was worrying about. I tore but wouldn’t have known. Stitches were ok as by then I was on cloud nine that id done it and was looking at my baby. Plus they give you gas and air and an injection so you don’t feel any pain. One massive piece of advice. Don’t shout and scream during the pushing. Just put your chin down, grab on to something and put all that energy into bearing down. Believe in your body. It knows what to do. Go with it.
After the heads out, there’s one more contraction, a slurpy sound and your baby is born and then being lifted up. All that pain instantly goes. It’s the most incredible feeling. I wish I could bottle it

Amei · 28/02/2022 20:36

I would go through labour again right now if it meant I could get rid of my post labour piles in exchange

Labour was far better than I expected! I was induced and then I was cut, had a failed vontouse and then had forceps!

In a strange way I kind of enjoyed the whole process.

Good luck!! You will be absolutely fine! Xx

Tee20x · 28/02/2022 20:39

I tore. The tear didn't hurt (epidural) but the pain afterwards :(((((( the horror of weeing I can still remember the sting.

Ididanamechange · 28/02/2022 20:39

I had a 3b tear with ds and didn't feel it happy and the contractions were far worse than the pushing stage. When I had my stitches I joked with the midwife after that now she was giving me drugs! I'd been pleading for an epidural for about an hour but I was too far along.
Had my epidural with my second- dd came out at 10lbs. No tears at all, just a really lovely controlled birth.

CoffeeAndCaramel · 28/02/2022 20:41

I've had three babies, all vaginal deliveries and I agree with all other posters, the contractions are by far the most painful part! The ring of fire is intense I won't lie but the relief of knowing you're at that final hurdle is immense! Stitches with all of them and they numb you right up so you won't feel it!
You'll be fine op good luck!! Xx