Pregnant again after missed miscarriage and feel like i am going crazy

[Lcy]

Hi
As some of you may know i found out i had a mmc at 11 weeks in August. I am now 7 weeks pregnant and feel like i am going crazy, I have already had two red bleeds at 4 weeks and 5 weeks and brown discharge for 2 week after that (it has stopped for 6 days now). I was scanned at 6 weeks and everything was ok (heartbeat etc) and now EPU wont scan me until 12 weeks.

However this is exactly the same pattern that happened last time - brown discharge for 2 weeks, all ok on scan at 6 weeks, discharge stopped, but then the baby died. I dont have any morning sickness and my boobs are not as sore as last time.

I have spent all of Christmas pretending everything is ok because my family dont know (and then crying in bed every night). Everyone has gone home now and i feel like i am at breaking point. I just feel that it has all gone wrong again and dont know how i will cope if it has.

Is anyone else going through this at the moment or gone through this in the past?

Thanks Lcy

Dear Lcy..I had a still birth in Aug 06..So know the pain and worry you must be feeling. I think once you have had a loss its hard not to think that it going to happen again..With this pregnacy,I had bleeding at 6weeks and 8wks..I have been constantly down the hospital needing reasurrance.It hasnt been an easy pregnacy,ive had alot of high-risk problems..I guess what I'm trying to say is although you feel like the same thing is happening,it dosnt mean it is..Could you speak to your Doctor about getting reffered back to the EPU before 12wks?

What you are feeling is normal..you are not going crazy..belive me I feel the same at times.I am now 33wks pregs, I never ever thought I would get this far.
Hang on in there,you can do this..xxxxx

I feel like I am sort of going throught this at mo. Had some bleeding the other day and constantly monitoring myself to try and decicde if I feel sick or not. Had hcg levels done fri night and going back to have them done again.

Could you get your hcg levels done to help put your mind at ease?

Don't know if you feel like this, but just want to be happy and pregnant rather than a constant waiting game, which sucks over the christmas peroid.

With one of my pregnancies I was scanned fortnightly up to 12w purely because I was so stressed after having had a previous mmc. It helped to calm me down for a while, but by the time I was due another scan I was ready for it.
Could you go back to epu and let them know how worried you are. They might agree to a fortnightly scan.
You need to speak to someone at least.
If you get no joy from the epu maybe contact the Miscarriage Association for support through this.

(((Hugs))) Lcy. I mced 09NOV at 10weeks and now I'm 7+1...pregnant again. Fear is going to be a natural part of my pregnancy. I'm just going to embrace that fact. My mindset is what will be, will be. There's nothing I can do to make this pregnancy go to term. It's completely out of my hands. Sounds like you're in the same boat. Honestly, dear, it will all be fine. Believe in yourself and your body. It's hard but try.

Thanks for your replies

EPU were not particularly helpful - they couldnt find any brown blood when they did the internal and actually suggested that it was just poor personal hygiene . They just dont seem to provide any emotional support at all and me and DH felt like we were wasting there time. I explained my worries about not being scanned till 12 weeks and the nurse gave me a very patronising lecture about not being able to scan me everyday through out my pregnancy. Thanks for mc association website i will contact them.

I think i will book in for a private scan on Thursday when i will be 8 weeks.

Sorry you are going through this too mower

Nice of them to be so flamin patronising!
Where's their empathy for goodness sake!

Lcy - I'm so sorry that EPU and your mw aren't being very helpful.

I think it's a good idea to have a private scan, and I hope it gives you reassurance.

Hi Lcy,
Oh I'm so sorry for your loss and really feel for you. I totally understand how you feel as I have had two missed miscarriages with a normal pregnancy in between and both the normal pregnancy and the second missed miscarriage pregnancy were just beyond stressful.

Have you spoken to your doctor to see whether he/she will refer you back to the epu for an earlier second scan? They may be more inclined to do so on the basis of your mental state than the midwives or epu direct will be? Other than that, is a private scan a possibility?

Alternatively, counselling might help for you to deal with your anxiety? I had counselling in the first trimester of my second pregnancy and it did help with the anxiety.

All the best.

Sorry - x-post.
Don't get me started on the lack of empathy in the ante-natal care for women who have/have had miscarriages.... So sorry they treated you like that. A private scan sounds like a good idea.

Epu not being helpful at all.
I thought part of the reason for epu's was to support women who had problems/worries in early pregnancy.
I agree with the advice to go and see your gp and request a referral. You are not asking to be scanned every day. You just want to know that the pregnancy is continuing and if not to find out early rather than later as with previous mmc.

That is exactly it juuule - i just need to know

Nooname thanks for the advice - this EPU dont know what the word empathy mean - its a shame because there is little that can be done medically for mc so psychological care should be paramount.

Hi Lcy, my heart goes out to you. I think what you are feeling is very normal, particularly as it doesn?t seem you have anyone to speak to about this. I would definitely go for the private scan if you can afford to as your EPU sound very unsympathetic. It seems to be the long period of waiting and not knowing that is really adding to your anxiety.

I am nine weeks pg and in a similar position. I had a missed mc in August at around 9 weeks, proceeded by weeks of spotting. After the spotting first started, I had a scan where we saw a heartbeat, but at the follow-up scan two weeks later we found out the baby had died.

This pregnancy, I tested early and just after my BFP had an episode of spotting (with terrible cramps) around about the time my period would have been due. It settled down after a few days but I began spotting again at 6 weeks and went for a scan at the EPU where we saw a heartbeat. I've been spotting on and off since then and am due to go for a follow up scan on Friday 4th when I should be 10 weeks.

You say your scan at 6 weeks was OK and this could be something you take some comfort from. With my first scan with the baby I mc'd, although there was a heartbeat the baby measured over a week behind what I had calculated by my dates. This time the baby measured right for dates. Although measuring smaller isn't always a bad sign as there can be mix ups with dates etc I've taken the fact that the dates tie-in in this time as a positive sign.

I know the lack of ms etc can be a worry and I know you may have heard this before but you may just be one of ones who doesn't get ms when pregnant.I think the official figure for ms is around 75% so that leaves 25% who don't get it. Even for those who have been through a number of pregnancies I've seen lots saying they had ms with some pregnancies and not with others as you'll also have heard.

I think TS is right about accepting that as part and parcel fear is going to encroach on our pregnancies. What we need to do is find strategies to manage and cope with the anxiety/fear, and those are probably individual to each person. I've got a few which can help to keep me positive and calm some of the time -but certainly not all the time! What?s important is to find something, anything, that works for you.

Wish I could be more help - will be thinking of you and praying everything goes well. As the other poster said hang on in there. x

Hi MotherPrayers - thank you so much for your post and answering all my concerns. Sorry you are also waiting for a scan - such a horrible time i will be thinking of you. I have booked a private scan for Saturday so will let you know how it goes.

I feel much better just for posting about my worries and for getting all of your replies. I went for a long walk on the beach with DH yesterday afternoon and talked it all through - which helped as well.

Thank you all so much x

hi,

I cant really add any more than the other posters here - but just to say how sorry i am that your EPU is being so rubbish!! I've had 2 m/c and am pregnant again (15 weeks and working out ok so far!) so I completely understand all your worries. My gp arranged for me to have my HCG levels checked on a regular basis which was really comforting. You could go and see your GP and emphasise the stress and upset that you are going through and ask them to monitor your HCG levels or insist that your EPU scans you again. However, given your past experience perhaps the cost of a private scan is a small price to pay for the reassurance you need (and you dont have to see the heartless folk at the EPU again!).

Take care of yourself and try not to worry too much.

x

Hi, last year I had a miscarriage shortly followed by an ectopic pregnancy. I am pregnant again after what seems like a lifetime. I went privately for a scan at 9 weeks from LMP however the baby was measured at 7 weeks and 3 days. Although this worried me a bit, I did see a strong heartbeat which reassured me that so far so good.
It only cost me £50, for a little piece of mind I thought this was excellent value. I am going back in 4 weeks to check the baby is growing properly. I can't believe that I have to wait until 16 weeks for my first scan on the NHS considering my history.
You have to do what is right for you and look after yourself.

Thanks - private scanned booked for Saturday - i am still totally convinced it will be bad news because i have no symptoms and everyone on the antenatal thread who are 8 weeks are really feeling sick . Everyone keeps telling me how lucky i am but i would love to be feeling really ill because i would find it reassuring if you see what i mean

Good luck vespachick for your next scan

LCY

Miscarried in October at 9-10 weeks, now 2 months pregnant and just as concerned. Unlike you, I opted out of an early scan because I knew it would worry me far too much. The doctor said he was surprised i didnt want an early one and I explained i'd rather live in blissfull ignorance that 'everything was ok'. I'm awaiting my letter of appointment now for my 10-12 week dating scan and i am petrified. If i could get through the 9 months without one, i would.

I wish you the best of luck and i know how hard it is, but worrying at this point really isnt doing you or the baby any good. If you want someone to talk to, drop me a line.

Katelyn

Good luck with your scan, I haven't had sickness either, just really tired.
I hope all goes well for you

Hi all, im new on here after suffering a missed miscarriage 26th November whilst having my 12 week scan, baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks had a D&C 4 days later. Im so desperate to start trying again, but dr has advised me to try in 3 months. Im 35yrs and already have 2 beautiful girls but feeling like my time is running out. Two days before we found out that we had lost our baby my sister announced that she is pregnant. It has been so hard over Christmas to watch her having the symptoms that I had only a short while ago, I feel so empty. Im so glad to hear that yous ladies have fallen pregnant after having a m/c. I hope all goes well for you all fingers crossed.

you don't have to wait, devon.

it's for purposes of dating a subsequent pregnancy, but there are scans for that now.

i had a D&C 10 december and although we are not TTC at the present, my doc said there was no medical, physical reason for waiting, particularly as i am nearly 37 myself and also have 2 beautiful girls.

it's when you feel emotionally ready to try again and feel it's right in your hearts.

Good luck with the scan lcy. I cried so hard when I saw the heartbeat at 12 weeks with dd that the sonographer had to ask me to calm down so she could continue . I hope you get to disgrace yourself in a similar fashion...

Lcy, good luck on Saturday.

Devon...honey I got pregnant 15 days after my miscarriage in November, 7+4 today. There's no need to wait just do what feels natural.

Devon1 - i started TTC as soon as the bleeding stopped.

Thanks TellusMater

Thank you all for your kind words. Sorry to hear of your loss "Expatinscotland". And Good luck to you Lcy, and Twilightsurfer. It really means alot knowing that im not alone. The reason why it seems so hard to cope with, is that I had paid for a private scan at 8 weeks and 5 days, and everything was ok. The heartbeat was 189. When i went for my 12 week scan I was still having slight symptoms of pregnancy, had no pain or bleeding and then was told by the sonographer that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks (just 3 days later). Thanks to you all for your words of comfort.

I also had a missed miscarriage and it i found it emotionally very difficult (as you can see i still am!). There is a great thread on the TTC boards for people trying to concieve after mc. I found it a life saver because everyone knew how i was feeling on there. When you are ready you should try posting on there to get some support. I wish you lots of luck for 2008!