IVF Pregnancies (thread 2)

[Holskey]

@LemonyT
@strawberrysummer19
@Etonmess20
@IamnotwhouthinkIam
@strawberrysummer19
@paintfairy
@2mumlife
@Starbeach
@TheSnufflet
@Novavee
@Donimo
@Monday55
@Cakecakecheese
@Porridgeislife
@JAR1981
@Hufflepuff1
@2022babyhope
@becarefuloutthere
@notsofertilemyrtle
@RiverRiot

I've definitely missed people, but hoping I've got everyone who's been active recently. Apologies if not!

So pleased for your scan news @KatRee 🌟 It's absolute magic to see that heartbeat 🌟

@Begoniagal7 I've got my 12 week scan next Friday 🤞🏻 I'm nervy too.

Does anyone here had any experience with getting support for their anxiety? My experience of the midwife service here has been quite chaotic and disjointed. I've so far told 3 midwives (1 face to face, 2 on phone) that I'm very anxious, I'm not hiding it. They've either pretended I haven't said anything, or just been quite dismissive. No advice about what support is available. I even emailed the midwife team leader as they forgot to do a really important blood test, and she hasn't replied.

My GP told me to speak to her again after 12 weeks if I'm still feeling the same, which I will. But I've read that there are specialist midwives if you're struggling with mental health and I keep assuming someone will ask if I want to be referred for an appointment. But nothing so far. Unless they'll only be involved much later on / in cases of much worse MH? I'll definitely be off to the Consultant if I can get passed 12 weeks so maybe that's why the midwives are a bit uninterested in me at this stage?

@Monday55 Forgot about ethnicity, but someone else mentioned to me before that was a factor too. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. I'm not feeling too concerned about the GTT - my sister also had to have it and was totally fine.

@Porridgeislife I already have an appointment in the diary to get MAT1B from midwife at an appointment at 22 weeks (that I need to rearrange actually...). There must be a system as you need it for matpay! We don't have exemption certificated in scotland as everyone gets free prescriptions anyway, so no idea about that.

@KatRee Great to hear everything is looking good! When I told my sister I was pregnant at the weekend her response was "Sleep. Sleep now. You'll never sleep again" lol and she has a 4 month old.

@Begoniagal7 The embabie being from 35yr old eggs will make a big difference :)

@CurbsideProphet My midwife team were great for mental health - I disclosed at booking in appointment I had a history of depression and anxiety, and even though I've not been on medication or in therapy for years, she still offered me an appointment with the specialist mental health midwife right then. I declined, but she made clear if I ever wanted to be referred I just needed to ask.

@CurbsideProphet Some of the links on this page might help?
www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/mental-health/

@2mumlife that was useful thank you. I thought I would be offered a referral. I read the Mind link and I do think I have the classic symptoms of anxiety. Maybe the service is too overwhelmed here? I've previously paid for EMDR so will look at going back to the same woman (if she's still practicing) after 12 weeks if I'm still feeling the same. It's not cheap but I'm conscious I shouldn't carry on like this.

@CurbsideProphet I'm sorry you're feeling so much anxiety. If you're simply telling the midwives you're anxious and hoping they'll refer you to help, it may be time to spell out what you want more explicitly. I'm in a due date group with people all over the country and the tales I hear about midwives being impossible to reach, don't answer, won't return calls etc. I would persevere with the midwives and if you get nowhere, complain to pals. I complained during my last pregnancy and they were great.

@CurbsideProphet, sorry you’re experiencing this. It can be very frightening and unpleasant. I would say to ask them directly for a referral to the specialist mental health midwives, tell them you are really struggling and it is affecting you. Services are stretched painfully thin right now but you shouldn’t have to suffer. It might also be worth looking into whether you can self refer via IAPT or similar. Hope you can get some support soon x

Thank you both. It sounds like I need to ask, rather than wait to be offered. It's difficult to admit, which is why I thought they would offer a referral. I've booked a phone appointment with our IVF counsellor for this week to keep me going. She's very helpful at gently reminding me that my mind is not so powerful that it can literally make horrible things happen just by thinking them. She's also good with strategies.

DH has suggested maybe I feel more anxious because tomorrow is my last Lubion injection and I will be down to 1 progesterone pessary per day for only another week until my 12 week scan. Hormone support is like a safety blanket. It does feel like I will be going it alone and having to trust that my body can do it...

@CurbsideProphet I didn't take any progesterone or anything, but I know from this thread that it terrifies many women. But I've yet to hear of anything go wrong as a result!

Since being pregnant I've had terrible anxiety but weirdly not about this pregnancy or baby at all. It's about my toddler. I actually can't talk about it further than that even anonymously here, never mind with anyone in real life (though of course I totally respect your desire for support!). I'm just hoping it goes away when my baby comes 🤞 I think it's because I just feel so lucky... combined with hormones!

@Holskey anxiety knows how to weedle into the brain doesn't it. I feel better when I talk about it (with certain people) as I feel less like it's just me alone in my head. DH is amazing but I worry about the burden on him having to constantly be the strong one. But of course talking about it is not for everyone. I think I've been underestimating pregnancy hormones and mood swings. They're definitely real!

@CurbsideProphet
If you're not happy with your midwife care then contact PALS. I did after my booking in appointment left me upset and frustrated as they had my due date wrong by 3 weeks due to not understanding IVF dates and I had to make a fuss to get it changed and she was acting like Iwas being awkward.

I'm seeing a consultant but I'll be still seeing midwives so you might want to check that.

@Cakecakecheese I read further back in the thread about your dates nightmare. Being treated like your awkward for wanting your pregnancy dates to be accurate. I mean WTF 😯😡

I complained to PALS after poor treatment at gynae assessment last year and I would feel embarrassed to complain again, especially as DH works at the same NHS Trust....(DH is v supportive and does agree midwives have been lacking so far.)

I'm hoping that if I can get past 12 week scan unscathed the midwives will just do my blood pressure / bloods etc and not make any clinical decisions?

Has anyone else got covid whilst pregnant and been put on inhixa injections as a precaution? I tested positive on a lateral flow yesterday and then got a call from the midwives today to start on these daily injections. This has now made me really anxious and over worrying about covid. Any reassurances would be appreciated

@CurbsideProphet
I'm hoping that if I can get past 12 week scan unscathed the midwives will just do my blood pressure / bloods etc and not make any clinical decisions?
This has been my experience. That said, appointments with consultants are very brief, and although they do make decisions, they don't seem to know as much about me as I'd expect. As it's mostly midwives that I see, it really doesn't feel like consultant-led care. I don't even have any contact details for a consultant so any questions have to go through the midwife.

@domino I had covid last week. Many women on my due date group on Facebook have had covid and it seems very mixed as to whether or not injections are prescribed. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. I didn't tell anyone I had covid so there was no chance of me being prescribed them, but I'm already on aspirin (needlessly I think) so I'm sure that lessens the already v low chances of a blood clot. I will mention I had it at my next midwife appointment though. Is a blood clot your main concern? Or are you feeling really unwell? I felt dreadful for a few days but recovered quite quickly.

@Donimo apologies for messing up your name in the tag there

@CurbsideProphet I think it really varies - unlike @Holskey I haven't met my widwife once! Other than doing my booking in appointment with the midwife (which was over the phone) I've just been at the hospital either seeing nurse /random midwife or consultant. I'm not due to actually meet my named midwife until 22 weeks.

@CurbsideProphet Oh and my consultant appointment I was in the waiting room for over an hour, but didn't feel rushed at all once I actually go seen - he took quite a lot of time actually. I'm not sure later appointmnet will be as thorough

@Donimo I had covid in weeks 8-9 so had to postpone the scan I had booked at 8.5 weeks, but my ivf clinic didn’t seem overly concerned. Like @Holskey I’m on an increasing dose of aspirin regardless - I’m not sure why this is though as the only risk category I tick is that I’m 42 (EC in Jan this year). I really hope your symptoms are mild and you recover quickly.I had two days of feeling extra exhausted (I thought at first it was just the pregnancy; it was only when colleagues tested positive it dawned) and then several days of cold symptoms.

I’ve got my 12 week scan on 12th April (12+5) and can’t wait to drop the rest of the hormone supplements this week. I was so pleased to have my cyclogest reduced from 4 to 2 per day. One consultant had written to my gp I’d be on it til 15 weeks but the other one at my 9.5 week scan said that was way too much progesterone I was still on and my body should be producing enough of its own by now 😬 I will miss having breakfast in bed although my 4.5 yr old and dh will be glad to have me up half an hour faster in the mornings…

So I have been ramping down since 10 weeks

Thank you @Holskey and @Mountaingoat31. I only told the midwife about my positive lateral flow as I had a midwife blood pressure check the day before so wanted to let her know due to having contact with her. I am also on asprin daily as well, so wondering wondering I need to be extra careful re injury and bleeding with being on both. I have just been worrying since told I need to take these injections about risks of covid being more significant than I was giving it consideration for. It just seems that I am constantly told about how high risk my pregnancy is by everyone... and this is again saying the same thing. It just builds my anxiety. I feel pretty rubbish but not too bad at the moment.

@Donimo such a shame for you to have something else to worry about. Are you able to call the midwives and ask for advice on risks of bleeding etc?
My friend had covid at 16 weeks and her midwives weren't concerned at all.
Hope you feel better soon.

@2mumlife I'm hanging on for a proper appointment with a Consultant who will listen to me and understand the risks, especially that I have epilepsy .
I've had contact with so many different midwives.
The midwife at my GP surgery rang to say she'll see me at 24 weeks (not sure what for) and tell me about her own IVF 20 years ago.
I had a phone booking appointment with one midwife,
Bloods and blood pressure done by another midwife,
Phone call from another midwife to say my blood results were missing (results were found after I chased them).

My consultant appointments are exclusively over the phone whereas none of my midwife appointments are. I know this is different everywhere (and I personally don't think midwife appointments should be over the phone). I haven't met my named midwife either, but the ones I have met have been lovely.

I was pregnant during the covid breakout in 2020 and my consultant appointments were literally that he would sit in another room and a midwife would come and go between the rooms as an intermediary to protect the all important doctor from my potential covid. Poor midwife was obviously fair game. I'll take phone appointments over that farce.

@Holskey That's really weird mine are totally opposite - midwife has been all over the phone, but everything to do with consultant is face to face. I think essentially my midwifey team have defaulted me to the consultant!

I've had some pale caramel coloured discharge this evening so of course that is causing my anxiety to peak 😩 Would it be down to hormonal changes at 11 weeks? It's all so exhausting having so much to worry about...

@CurbsideProphet quite possibly, mine is snot coloured which doesn’t match online descriptions of what to expect that I’ve seen, but is exactly how I remember it from my first (straightforward) pregnancy! I imagine you’ll be speaking to someone in the next few days who’ll be qualified to give an opinion, but it doesn’t sound like a cause for immediate alarm to me