Boyfriend broke up with me because I’m pregnant

[Beeabbie97]

Hello,

I just need some advice, I’m feeling so down! I found out last week I was pregnant (unplanned). I decided I want to keep this baby, however my partner was so against it and wanted me to have an abortion, as well as telling me I was selfish for choosing to keep this baby as it went against what he wanted. He also told me he will hate me forever for my choice. He packed up all his stuff and moved out the same night.

He has decided he want’s to be involved in the child’s life but he feels forced and like he had no choice. It’s just so upsetting as this is my first pregnancy, I’m in my early 20’s and I now just feel so alone.

Got love MN! Its none of his business if op wants to keep the baby because its her decision alone, but it will 100% be his responsibility to pay for it for the next 18 years. Personally if i was in your situation op and you really want to keep the child then I would do so with absolutely no input expected from the father, this way you will not emotionally damage a child who father is being forced to accept something he didn't want and your child can make the decision to contact or not contact their father when they are an adult.

He has every right to not want a baby. We don’t know they didn’t use protection. Accidents can and do happen on contraception. People don’t have sex to conceive most of the time. If you decide to keep it then that it purely your choice and you have the right as it’s your body etc but you will be a single mum. He only has to pay maintenance that’s it sadly and kids aren’t cheap. For whatever reason he doesn’t want a child with you or right now and you can’t push him too. It’s good you have a really supportive unit as i think you’ll need it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your ex us a massive twat.

You can do this on your own, it will actually be easier as he has shown you his true colours. Keep clear of him until closer to the babys birth, concentrate on you and your child and leave the massive man child to sulk.

Thanks @Avarua, she's a really great kid and I'm very fortunate 😊

It is a shock and I understand the boyfriend doesn't want this child, and I'm actually on board with the idea of men having the option of legally pulling out of being a dad (to a certain extent!)

His time to pull out of being a dad was prior to ejaculation.

Congratulations on your pregnancy @Beeabbie97 There are many women who become mothers much younger than you. Age is no judge for capability or love.

I echo what others have said about your ex sounding a prize douchebag. However - what was he like prior to this? Did you have a good relationship?

Pregnancy, whether planned or not, is bloody scary news once you hear it. People react in strange ways and sometimes need a bit of time to digest the information. How long did you know or even suspect before you told him? However long that was was processing time. He hasn't had the benefit of that. It sounds to me like he reacted very badly (what an absolute idiot - no condoning that!) but maybe it was just a scared reaction.

Let the dust settle - try and talk in a few days and see how you both feel then. You're either going through with the pregnancy or you're not. He either wants the relationship or he doesnt. Space will give you time to decide these things and plan accordingly for the future.