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Original poster

No sexing at 20 week scan due to covid?

71 replies

Yebbie · 11/01/2022 13:03

Hospital have said that due to covid they are keeping appointment times to a minimum and therefore will not carry out sexing of the baby during the anomaly scan

Has anyone else had this? Was it just on the letter or did the hospital actually not do it? I don't want to pay privately if they are likely to tell me if they see during the scan, which surely they would during the anomaly scan anyway?

OP posts:
Trinacham · 11/01/2022 13:14

Not heard that. Had our 20 week scan in September and was told what baby appeared to be. Was never on the letter that they wouldn't either.

MissNothing1991 · 11/01/2022 13:20

Could you not just find out when the child is born?

babyboybluewithnumbertwox · 11/01/2022 13:21

Oh that must be very new @Yebbie! Had our 20 week scan on the 31st of December (Scotland) and it was the first thing we were asked going in!

"Would you like to know what you are having?"

Maybe worth a phone call before you go, if you want to find out 🥰

Hugasauras · 11/01/2022 13:23

Our NHS area doesn't offer sexing anyway! Some don't. I'd just wait till the scan and then pay privately after that if not.

Original poster
Yebbie · 11/01/2022 13:23

Of course I could physically wait but I don't want to and that isn't what I asked.

It did seem a bit odd as you'd think they'd get a good look at everything during the scan. I will double check with my midwife and see.. wondered if it was happening everywhere!

OP posts:
twoofusburningmatches · 11/01/2022 13:25

I’d assume this is just to set expectations. As in they will tell you if the baby is playing ball and they can see the genitals, but if the baby isn’t in a good position they won’t be waiting around to see if the baby changes position (which I think is fair enough as it isn’t the focus of the scan). I’d probably wait until the scan and see what happens and if they can’t tell you then and you really want to know, book a private scan.

Endofdaysarehere · 11/01/2022 13:28

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

WheelieBinPrincess · 11/01/2022 13:32

Here they don’t tell you anyway! We got a private one.

It’s perfectly acceptable to want to find out the sex of your baby beforehand, just as it’s also a perfectly valid choice to keep it a surprise. Neither is wrong, I don’t know why people get funny about others wanting to know.

legalseagull · 11/01/2022 13:36

There's nothing wrong with wanting to know the sex of your baby. I find people who are judgemental on this completely bizarre.

I can't see why covid is the reason. Presumably they'll be looking all over the baby to check everything's ok. I imagine if they can see the sex they'll just tell you, but they might not have the time to go hunting for it if baby has their legs crossed

PurchaseInvoices · 11/01/2022 13:39

Why do some health boards ban it? Whats the reason? Is it to do with some cultures not wanting girls, or something like that?

girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 13:44

That sounds so strange. It doesn't take any longer as they're looking at everything anyway.

girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 13:45

@PurchaseInvoices

Why do some health boards ban it? Whats the reason? Is it to do with some cultures not wanting girls, or something like that?
I was told that's why they wait until 20 weeks. Aside from accuracy, its much harder to get an abortion if the baby isn't the 'right' sex that far through the pregnancy but I don't know how true it is.
Hugasauras · 11/01/2022 13:46

Probably because people can be assholes if they get it wrong and it opens the door to more complaints. Given it's unnecessary info in a clinical sense, seems safer just not to do it.

WheelieBinPrincess · 11/01/2022 13:47

@PurchaseInvoices I believe it might be to do with cultural expectations in some areas.

Hugasauras · 11/01/2022 13:48

Also sometimes people want additional things like it written on bits of paper or other stuff for 'gender reveals' that takes up extra time I guess. By not offering it all, you skip all that nonsense.

MiddleParking · 11/01/2022 13:51

@PurchaseInvoices

Why do some health boards ban it? Whats the reason? Is it to do with some cultures not wanting girls, or something like that?
I think it’s more to do with not being able to justify putting resource into something that’s not relevant to the medical purpose of the procedure, so as someone else said they wouldn’t wait specifically to see if the baby will change position if they can’t already see it clearly. Also, it may be that they don’t want to do it because they sometimes get it wrong. More hassle than it’s worth.
Cas112 · 11/01/2022 13:51

@Endofdaysarehere

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

Well your miserable
girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 13:55

@Endofdaysarehere

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

"Take a dim view of you asking" - what a horrible attitude to take towards families excited about expecting a new baby.

No, people don't need to know but there's also no harm in telling someone if it's easy to see.

What does your taking a dim view actually consist of?

Original poster
Yebbie · 11/01/2022 13:56

I'm aware health boards in some areas never tell you, the one in my health board usually does and did in my previous pregnancy and are saying it's because of covid, so it's a different scenario. If it was a firm health board policy I obviously wouldn't ask them to go against it for me. I will just wait and see and go private after if needed. Thanks

OP posts:
accidentlygothereagain · 11/01/2022 13:56

Very strange, I paid privately at 16 weeks but they did tell me again at my 20 week scan. Could you maybe go private? It can be pricey though! That's really annoying for you.

Somerandomgirl · 11/01/2022 14:08

Oh god why on earth now this.... ask them still if they can tell u the gender... it literally takes 2 seconds to see...... soon we all gonna give birth at home too cause who cares anymore unless its covid....

girlmom21 · 11/01/2022 14:09

@Somerandomgirl

Oh god why on earth now this.... ask them still if they can tell u the gender... it literally takes 2 seconds to see...... soon we all gonna give birth at home too cause who cares anymore unless its covid....
In our area they're stopping home births because of covid Confused
Whatdramain2022 · 11/01/2022 14:11

@Endofdaysarehere

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

Yes, but they do. It seems wrong that hospital staff know the sex of your baby and you don't. It's your baby!
bedheadedzombie · 11/01/2022 14:14

@Endofdaysarehere

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

It's very convenient if you don't want a gender neutral nursery/ wardrobe. People have more time to buy stuff when pregnant, once the baby is born you don't want to go out to buy dresses.
8dpwoah · 11/01/2022 14:17

We never asked at our NHS 20 week scans (didn't want to know with first and had had a private scan at 17 weeks with second in case DP wasn't allowed to attend the NHs one for covid reasons).

They did ask if we wanted to know, because if they could tell during the normal course of the scan they would mention it but they wouldn't look especially. As the sonographer said to me at a growth scan though, people never go back to them and tell them that they were right, I felt a bit sorry for her in a way on that one!

I think as PP have said it's so that if baby isn't in a great position for looking at genitals they don't have the expectation of getting you moving round, having a drink or a wee or whatever other tactics they use for getting baby to move so they can see what they need, I reckon. I've had to do that for them to get head measurements before but obviously that's a key part of the scan.

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