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Original poster

No sexing at 20 week scan due to covid?

71 replies

Yebbie · 11/01/2022 13:03

Hospital have said that due to covid they are keeping appointment times to a minimum and therefore will not carry out sexing of the baby during the anomaly scan

Has anyone else had this? Was it just on the letter or did the hospital actually not do it? I don't want to pay privately if they are likely to tell me if they see during the scan, which surely they would during the anomaly scan anyway?

OP posts:
Moonstonemummy · 11/01/2022 14:21

I had my boy in the first lockdown, my 20 week scan was around June time, I mentioned to my sonographer that I had had a private scan and could she also tell me if it was a boy - she got very annoyed and said she didn’t have time to tell me (my trust don’t seem to have a policy on not telling people and everyone else I know seems to have had no issues with them revealing the sex)…

Due to Covid they weren’t able to do the nuchal measurements at my 12 week acan as baby wasn’t playing ball - now that I find unfair!

WakeUpLockie · 11/01/2022 14:21

No that’s weird. They check the genitalia anyway from a health check perspective so seems odd. I had my 20 week scan in Nov and when it came to find out the sonographer said - ‘do you want to know? I’ve already seen as I checked all was well’. So it’s no extra work. Weird!

Twizbe · 11/01/2022 14:27

I think it's likely just to set expectations.

I didn't want to know with either of mine, but my daughter hated scans. She curled herself into the tightest ball possible during her 20 week scan (she turned her back on us at 12 weeks) Checking she had genitals was way down the list of checks at 20 weeks. I'm guessing if they were pressed for time they wouldn't want to spend time trying to get her to move so they could see what she had.

My guess is if it's obvious they will tell you, but if it's hard they won't spend time trying to find it out.

TooManyPJs · 11/01/2022 17:58

@Endofdaysarehere

I’m from a health board that refuse to tell you the sex of the baby as a matter of course. They have lots of signs around the waiting room saying that they refuse to tell you and will take a dim view of you asking.

You don’t need to know the sex of the baby, they are quite right.

Well how bloody patronising and miserable of them. And no health professional should "take a dim view" of someone asking a question. That's completely inappropriate and unprofessional.
PartridgeCoop · 11/01/2022 20:02

So weird. I was treated like a total diva by the technician when I asked not to know the sex of the baby, and could she tell us when she's at the business end so we could look away. She rolled her eyes and said it's not her job to keep us in the dark (though ultimately she did tell us to look away at the key moments). I figured it would be pretty hard to miss since they check the genitalia, how would it possibly slow things down?

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 11/01/2022 20:07

'Due to covid' what a joke. They need to spend time looking at everything anyway. Including genitalia. Why not just say it hospital policy not to say rather than 'due to covid'. Honestly it's stupid.

'Due to covid' is going to be my new phrase just to be shit at things.

Why didn't you wash the pots 'due to covid'
Why did you fill that form out 'due to covid'
Why do you need more bullshit reasons 'due to covid'

I hope your scan goes well and you have a perfectly healthy well developing baby not matter what the sex. But due to covid perhaps book a private scan to reveal the gender it will be a nicer experience.

DappledThings · 11/01/2022 20:08

People have more time to buy stuff when pregnant, once the baby is born you don't want to go out to buy dresses.
Dresses for babies are a daft idea regardless of the sex. I bought exactly the same dungaree and vest combos and sleepsuits that I would have done if I had known the sex. Lot of dinosaurs, lot of green, blue, red. Even had a pack of three blue sleepsuits with pink bows on. They must have really confused the gender purists.

notagainnotagain · 11/01/2022 20:20

The sonographer has a VERY long list of anomalies to look for. It can be a technically difficult task and unless it is medically relevant to know whether the baby is male or female, sexing takes time they don't have. It also takes time to discuss.

COVID means extra cleaning, extra social distancing, and staffing difficulties. Pleas for NHS staff to be more efficient have been made for years. Every possible time saving is likely to have already been made, leaving sexing one of the few things left to cut.

It's nice to find you if you are having a boy or girl, but it's not a necessary part of the scan.

grey12 · 11/01/2022 21:22

@twoofusburningmatches

I’d assume this is just to set expectations. As in they will tell you if the baby is playing ball and they can see the genitals, but if the baby isn’t in a good position they won’t be waiting around to see if the baby changes position (which I think is fair enough as it isn’t the focus of the scan). I’d probably wait until the scan and see what happens and if they can’t tell you then and you really want to know, book a private scan.
This is probably it. For no2 I had to go eat something and come back to see if the baby had changed position
HyphenCobra · 11/01/2022 22:19

My hospital tell you.

SouthwestSis · 11/01/2022 22:40

The NHS is under huge staffing pressure because so many staff are getting covid, supporting home births can be more staff intensive than having women come in to hospital to deliver, hence services are less able to support this option during covid infection surges.

Unfortunately when our health services are stretched, they have to start focusing on pure essentials of care, and baby genders and home births don't feature amongst them

Twizbe · 12/01/2022 06:58

@DappledThings

People have more time to buy stuff when pregnant, once the baby is born you don't want to go out to buy dresses. Dresses for babies are a daft idea regardless of the sex. I bought exactly the same dungaree and vest combos and sleepsuits that I would have done if I had known the sex. Lot of dinosaurs, lot of green, blue, red. Even had a pack of three blue sleepsuits with pink bows on. They must have really confused the gender purists.
I know right? I had plenty of time to buy everything I needed just in more neutral colours. With baby 2 I hardly had to buy anything in advance as they were the same season and could reuse everything from number 1.

Plus, popping out to the supermarket with a newborn was a nice activity to break up the day. I got the more gendered stuff I wanted then.

daisyducky · 12/01/2022 07:33

Back in 2017 we didn't want to know and she told us to look away from the monitor whilst she had a general check of the genital area. Before we left she asked us what we thought it was. So I was under the impression they had to check there anyway! I did ask if it was documented in the notes anywhere and she said no otherwise I'm sure I would have looked at some point.

mugoftea456 · 12/01/2022 07:42

Very odd. Private scans are around 50-80 depending on area. I think that's your only option.

Pearlpink · 12/01/2022 07:46

I've never heard of this and I've had scans in two separate cities in the north and south. If you can afford too definitely pay for a private sexing scan.

CovidCorvid · 12/01/2022 07:51

Yes, but they do. It seems wrong that hospital staff know the sex of your baby and you don't. It's your baby!

But they don’t. Possibly one sonographer might do (though in every scan I’ve been in when the couple have asked about the sex the sonographer has gone and looked so didn’t seem to know without actually checking). But even if they know it isn’t written down anywhere so others won’t know.

Nowayoutonlydown · 12/01/2022 10:24

@Yebbie

Hospital have said that due to covid they are keeping appointment times to a minimum and therefore will not carry out sexing of the baby during the anomaly scan

Has anyone else had this? Was it just on the letter or did the hospital actually not do it? I don't want to pay privately if they are likely to tell me if they see during the scan, which surely they would during the anomaly scan anyway?

Wait until you have your 20 week scan. I had my 20 week scan 3 weeks ago. The sonographer. He has lovely long legs....mother of his lungs sort of thing.

At the very end, she says, do you want to find out the sex?

..... I think he's a boy! We had a scan at 16 weeks. Didn't want to tell her she had told me twice during the appointment already!

Fingers crossed you find out, if not, the private scans are fab anyway. Our sonographer spent about about an hour with us showing us all of him.

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 10:32

@Nowayoutonlydown to be fair lots of sonographers will say either he/she without knowing. It's nicer than calling the baby 'it'.

DappledThings · 12/01/2022 10:34

[quote girlmom21]@Nowayoutonlydown to be fair lots of sonographers will say either he/she without knowing. It's nicer than calling the baby 'it'. [/quote]
Yeah, I have a boy and a girl. Both were referred to as both he and she in different scans. It's just habit for HCPs to avoid saying it as it might offend people.

ShadowPuppets · 12/01/2022 10:39

That’s strange, I had my 20 week scan last week and we were told the sex of DS. I do understand caveating it (friend of mine was told girl at 20 weeks and then had a surprise boy pop up on a growth scan at 36 weeks!) but I can’t really understand the ‘because covid’ explanation. It takes 2 seconds to tell the sex of baby if you’re down there anyway. I had my DD in a different hospital trust in early 2020 in the worst days of the pandemic - DH wasn’t allowed in for starters - and they offered to tell me her sex then (I declined, we didn’t want to find out in that pregnancy).

Curiousmouse · 12/01/2022 10:41

I found out with my second and thoroughly regretted it. I ended up having a caesarean so I knew the date and sex in advance. Nothing like as exciting.

elelel · 12/01/2022 10:44

@MissNothing1991

Could you not just find out when the child is born?

What if they don't tell her?

Notwithittoday · 12/01/2022 10:47

Tbh I was always so scared that my babies wouldn’t be healthy that I didn’t want my sonographer focused on the sex so I didn’t ask
And paid privately for sexing scans prior anyway. They did however tell me during the course of the 20 week one though and think most will. I think as others have said with the fuss people make over gender reveals they haven’t got time

Pinkywoo · 12/01/2022 10:58

I had a growth scan yesterday at 32 weeks and the sonographer asked if I knew the sex. When I said yes, he said "that's good because it's fairly obvious". When I looked at the screen there was a very clear penis next to the femur he was measuring! Grin

Blueberryflavour · 12/01/2022 11:01

Our health board area won’t tell you and I don’t think it’s for cultural reasons as we don’t live in a very diverse area. My son and DIL booked a private scan as they wanted to know. They had to go back 3 times as baby wasn’t cooperating and it’s guaranteed you’ll find out the sex. Maybe that’s why one areas won’t tell you as some parents might be upset that other parents get to know and they didn’t ( because their baby wasn’t in the right position) and the NHS won’t keep scanning until they can tell you.