Really hate gaining weight

[wingingit33]

I'm 30+3 and really struggling mentally with my changing body and seeing the numbers on the scales cranking up, it makes me feel so self conscious and my confidence is shot. I know it's important for the baby but I've still got 8 weeks (elcs) of more weight gain and I'm not coping with that idea. I started at 8st13 and today's weigh in I'm 10st5 so I've gained 20lbs already and feel I weigh every day and that's not going to stop. Im restricting food intake but baby is moving and growing fine. I can't be the only one who hates their changing body?

But so much of that extra weight is the actual baby, the placenta and all the extra fluid? You're not gaining fat, you're growing a baby!

After I have birth, I immediately lost about a stone in baby and placenta weight and over the next few weeks gradually lost more.

It's totally normal and if you start restricting your calories, the baby will take what it needs from you and leave you deficient, which is risking your own health.

Have you struggled with EDs in the past?

I feel exactly the same! I’m just coming in to my second trimester and I still just look fat rather than pregnant. It might not be much of a comfort now but believe me you will lose the weight soon after the baby is born and be back to your usual self. You won’t be stuck like this forever

@APerfectSky there's no way 20lbs is baby, placenta and fluid. The baby only weighs about 3lb currently. It's fat.

It's not just the baby itself in there though, honestly the placenta is an actual new organ (and pretty big!) and there are LOADS of fluids, plus you have more blood running through your body than you did pre-pregnancy. I understand completely about finding it hard to reconcile with your changing body, but its not all fat, no way.

All the other stuff weighs more than you would think. When I had my daughter I lost 16 pounds immediately (she only weighed 8)

I've found it a bit hard too; I gave up weighing myself at home as it was just stressing me out, and I found that helped psychologically.

It also helps to keep an eye on what extra 'features' my body is developing, as the temptation was to say "it's all fat" but it's really not. Our breasts are developing in preparation for breastfeeding and getting heavier as a result; our uteruses are enlarging and becoming more muscular; our bodies have more blood and fluid circulating to supply us and our babies (liquids can be surprisingly heavy); we've grown entire new organs in the form of placentas... And we've also put down some extra fat stores as energy reserves for ourselves and for our developing babies. All of this is necessary to support their growth.

So long as you're not going overboard with junk food, and you have a relatively healthy lifestyle (fruit and veg, gentle exercise, etc.), then a good chunk of the weight you've gained should come off fairly quickly after delivery without you having to do much. But restricting your diet (beyond making sure you have a balanced and healthy diet) at this stage risks deficiencies for you and your baby, so try not to restrict too much. If it would help, you could ask for a referral to a maternity dietitian, who can advise on your diet and give you some extra support.

This was yesterday's food: bowl of bran flakes for breakfast and two slices of toast and a satsuma for dinner. Lots to drink. Exercise just a 20min walk. I've hated the scales rising from day dot but only recently started restricting. But nearly 1.5st gain already is horrible.

Most of the weight really isn't fat. I didn't enjoy the weight gain aspect either but found this website that made me feel good about the numbers being in the target healthy weight gain range www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html

I gained 25lbs in pregnancy (and he was 2 weeks early). I lost a stone by the time I got home from the hospital (2 nights). And the rest within 2 weeks (without trying to lose it). Don't stress, try to eat healthy and try not to weigh so much

It’s just temporary, after birth you will lose most if not all of it. Immediately after birth most people lose 1 stone as pp said ( this was true for me ) . My starting weight was a touch below you and after 1month postpartum I’m still carrying an additional 6.5 lbs, but everyday I see my weight dipping.

Out of interest I looked at what is the extra weight in pregnancy, I found this breakdown for a 30lb weight gain. It’s really interesting and yes a lot of it is fluids. The maternal fat stores are both for growing the baby in the last trimester, but also for breastfeeding when it’s born…

Baby: 7.5 pounds
Placenta: 1.5 pounds
Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds
Uterine enlargement: 2 pounds
Maternal breast tissue: 2 pounds
Maternal blood volume: 4 pounds
Fluids in maternal tissue: 4 pounds
Maternal fat stores: 7 pounds

I've looked at lots of similar charts but my concern is I'm only 30+ weeks. So all those amounts are basically halved and I've still put on 20lbs so that can only be majority fat.

@Glitterbug86

Most of the weight really isn't fat. I didn't enjoy the weight gain aspect either but found this website that made me feel good about the numbers being in the target healthy weight gain range www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html

I gained 25lbs in pregnancy (and he was 2 weeks early). I lost a stone by the time I got home from the hospital (2 nights). And the rest within 2 weeks (without trying to lose it). Don't stress, try to eat healthy and try not to weigh so much

I used that site too! Found it super reassuring to see that I was in the suggested weight channel. I like that it adjusts to your starting weight and shows you where you should be, week by week

Your current thoughts around eating, weighing and weight gain don't sound healthy and it sounds like you could benefit from some support. Please talk to your midwife about your concerns.

If you are weighing daily and food restricting, you need to get some support for your mental health urgently. Please tell your midwife what you've told us. This is very, very important for your health and the pregnancy.

OP, You aren't alone. I loathed the weight gain and my inability to run any more. I just didn't feel like me.

But it will pass. You'll be yourself again by the spring. Just keep that in mind. In the meantime you need to eat sensibly to ensure that you are healthy for when that happens. xx

I put two and a half stone on with both my pregnancies and returned to my old weight pretty much immediately. Please stop starving your baby to try and appease whatever is in your head.

Wow you're empathetic @Dolphinnoises

OP, I honestly thought I wouldn't gain more than a stone, I thought only women that had lots of junk food gained loads of weight, well I was wrong

I gained 3.5 stones by the end my pregnancy

I was so upset initially in the pregnancy when the weight started coming during my second trimester but then I made the decision that I was going to focus on eating well for my daughter and I would worry about the weight after.

So I was mindful, all my meals were made from scratch, I had fruit and vegetables with every meal, snacks were fruit, veg, protein

I did eat a lot, a lot more than I normally would, but I was so hungry and I was pregnant!!! Listen to your body.

After DD was born, I lost a stone immediately, then 6 weeks after the lochia had finished I'd lost another 9 pounds. Then after 9 months of breastfeeding and not particularly worrying about what I ate (I have been too busy trying to cope with the baby) I am finally back to my original weight.

Please do not worry. Eat well and be mindful. But don't beat yourself up, making and having a child is a big undertaking, after baby is born breastfeeding that child is bloody hard work too. You will find yourself again, but for now try to enjoy the weight, you're doing something amazing.

@wingingit33

This was yesterday's food: bowl of bran flakes for breakfast and two slices of toast and a satsuma for dinner. Lots to drink. Exercise just a 20min walk. I've hated the scales rising from day dot but only recently started restricting. But nearly 1.5st gain already is horrible.

Omg op you need to eat more than that

I hate it too, I am 24 weeks and due to severe HG which is still ongoing, I'm still about 2lbs less than when I found out I was pregnant. But at one point I was around 12lbs less so I am gaining weight now and in the last few days getting a bump and now friends are starting to say aw look at your bump which I hate. But at the end of the day my baby is more important than me and I will put them first and whatever body I am left with so be it. Sorry but you need to hear this, from your what you're eating post, you're starving your baby and being selfish. You don't need to gorge on junk, you could even track your calories on my fitness pal but eating about 2000 should be about maintenance and if you eat healthy food sources it won't be too much fat. Restricting and eating about 500 like what you posted is ridiculous.

This is really sad. You are growing and carrying a baby. You can deal with the weight gain after but for now stop the daily weigh in and eat properly.

You need to talk to your midwife. You can cause harm to yourself and your baby if you restrict your diet like that. Someone needs to take your scales away for a start

Put the scales away! As long as you eat a healthy diet and don't feel hungry all the time you're doing grand. Do not restrict your food! The baby needs energy for healthy development! The weight you're gaining isn't YOUR weight! You can diet after the birth if you need to, but I suspect you won't. And in any case, highly calorie restricted diets are completely inefficient for weight loss purposes.

The numbers at this point are completely arbitrary - the weight of the baby, amniotic fluid, extra blood volume, fluid retention, placenta, all that stuff is extra and weighs a lot and is going to come out in 8 weeks. And after the birth if you breast feed whatever few pounds you did actually put on as your own weight will just fall off.

Honestly, just put the scales away!

Thanks for the concern but really, the scales are going nowhere. I weigh twice a day everyday and will continue to.

Are you not concerned about your baby?

That is ridiculous. Weight fluctuates even without being pregnant due to fluid retention, hormone cycles, bowel movements, etc. by a few pounds on a daily basis. Even when actively trying to diet or weight manage it's recommended to only weigh yourself weekly. Twice a day is bonkers.

And seriously, why are you so obsessed with the numbers on the scales? They mean nothing right now.