Really hate gaining weight

[wingingit33]

I'm 30+3 and really struggling mentally with my changing body and seeing the numbers on the scales cranking up, it makes me feel so self conscious and my confidence is shot. I know it's important for the baby but I've still got 8 weeks (elcs) of more weight gain and I'm not coping with that idea. I started at 8st13 and today's weigh in I'm 10st5 so I've gained 20lbs already and feel I weigh every day and that's not going to stop. Im restricting food intake but baby is moving and growing fine. I can't be the only one who hates their changing body?

Woth my 1st I gained 44lbs 🤪 and hated my body. However a week after my baby was born (9lbs 7) I had lost 38lbs so think it must've been baby + placenta + fluid etc. It all came right off.
Now I regret stressing and hating on my body.
I know it's hard to do but try and enjoy your bump and embrace the changes xx

Wow [grin]@dany32

Ok I get it, everyone, I do. I've come here to voice my concerns because I know my eating and mentality is disordered. I haven't come here to be called selfish, stupid, ridiculous etc etc. To those of you who have, I hope you or your loved ones never have to suffer with their mental health. I am going to my GP on Thursday and my husband is coming with me to be my voice if I struggle. To those of you have shown compassion, thank you. This is my last message on the thread.

I hope Thursday goes well OP.

If you want to talk to someone who understands it might be worth talking to BEAT. Their helplines are open 247.

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I understand how horrible it feels to be out of control of your body and looks. I know how awful it feels right now but just try to think, even if you do gain more weight, as soon as the baby's out you can focus on your physical appearance more, but right now needs to be about your health and the baby's health. Make sure as well after you've given birth if you do decide to try and lose weight to do it healthily, eds are a vicious cycle and so difficult to escape.
Take care of yourself op

OP it doesn’t feel like it, but the attacks are because people are scared for you and your baby. It’s very upsetting to read your posts because you are clearly in a lot of pain and for the rest of us who aren’t in there with you our rational brains are screaming “it’s normal to gain weight in pregnancy, stop weighing yourself”.

I get it I do. I’m only six weeks pregnant but I am scared about it too. I had a complete meltdown the day after I found out and was absolutely disgusted at what was going to happen to my body. The difference is I’ve acknowledged my past eating disorders and I really, really don’t want to go back there. I’m scared of gaining weight but actually I’m more scared of feeling the pain you’re feeling. I don’t know how I’ll cope but I’ve started by being totally honest with my therapist about it. I don’t think you’ve been honest with your midwife and I hope you will be more open with your GP so you get the support you need.

Eating disorders are a selfish illness, they make that jump from being self conscious to only being conscious of yourself. I appreciate that's not nice to hear and I hope you can find the real life help and support you need.

Hi Op, person with previous Eating disorder here, so I understand the feeling. I put on four stone in my pregnancy and it really stressed me out, by the end of week two I'd lost nearly two stone, and by month three a further 1stone, last stone came off gradually after that, I retained a lot of water. I flagged my eating issues with my midwife as was worried that I'd slip back into old habits, they were absolutely great, no judgement and I was referred to a consultant for that and other stuff. It helped me being open and honest about it. I was so focussed on not slipping into bad habits that I asked not to be weighed by them in pregnancy and I limited weighing myself to once every couple of weeks, easier said than done though. One thing I'd recommend though is focussing on eating lots of healthy stuff, plenty of veg and good healthy meals, they don't need to be calorific but you yourself know that you need more calories, the baby will take whatever it can from you, but you also need reserves for yourself and your own energy. I'm in the early stages of my second pregnancy and am acutely aware again that I could slip back, so intend to mention at booking in.
I remember being told when I was having counselling for my ED, something about your body needing at least 800 calories a day to maintain your body when in a coma, let alone when you're moving about and growing a baby. Hope you do get some help, but at the end of the day it's up to you to want it.

Sorry to add, by me saying eat lots of veg and it doesn't have to be hugely calorific, I mean still a good amount of calories but good healthy calories if it helps you

@Girliefriendlikespuppies "selfish". Thank god I'm not related to you.

Op didn't say you're selfish I said ED are selfish, the fear of weight gain trumps absolutely everything else.

My dd is the kindest, most generous person in the world however when she developed an ED her only priority was restricting food at any cost to anyone else.

Hopefully this isn't you and you can put aside your own fears to do what's right for yourself and your baby.

This book would be ideal for you to read.... to not let an eating disorder ruin your pregnancy www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B096ZQYMY6/ref=cmswrcpapigltfabc_PMMJADX7MPJ514QP81N88*

If you are worried about disordered eating but don't want to gain too much weight, I'd also suggest adding a salad or some more fruit and vegetables to your diet, to try to replace the nutrients the baby takes from your body.

Getting calcium should help avoid premature osteoporosis as the baby can take the calcium it needs from your bones, and more iron will help, as remember when pregnant women have 50% more blood volume than normal so need even more iron to carry enough oxygen in the thinner-than-normal blood.

You don't have to add something that makes a difference to your weight either. Spinach is high in iron, and kale and broccoli are high in calcium. These are very low calorie whilst being super nutritious. I hope adding little things like this can help too.

I struggled with this dreadfully in my first pregnancy. Not just the weight gain but the gradually appearing stretch marks. Watching my skin being ripped apart day by day, knowing it would be disfigured for the rest of my life and I couldn’t make it stop. I felt so helpless and it really traumatised me. I still struggle with the ugly appearance of my stomach and sometimes it upsets me so much that I wish I hadn’t had a baby. My second pregnancy is less of a problem because I’m already disfigured so it can’t get any worse.

My husband made me this for lunch and though it took me 40mins I ate it all.

You obviously have psychological problems which you need to discuss with your GP or midwife. This isn't healthy at all, you are risking your child. Quite frankly your being selfish and more interested in what you look like!!
None of us are happy about weight gain in pregnancy but it comes off after. I am on pregnancy number 5. With each I gained 4-5 stone. And all mine weighed between 8.6lb - 11lb.

That looks a lovely lunch OP!
I'm really glad to read you have an appointment with your GP, hopefully they can help you out. I know you say mainly mental health but I do think an ED is perhaps part of this. Weighing yourself twice a day is intense and it must take up a huge part of your life constantly thinking about it.

I'm 39 weeks, have put on 24lbs currently. I won't lie and say it's not something that hasn't been concerning me because it has. I think however, the important thing is not to compare ourselves to others. It could be totally normal to only put on a couple lbs for someone and then another person to put on 50+. It's all down to how our bodies react and trusting in your body.
It doesn't sound like you eat a whole lot to the point you are over feeding yourself and causing the weight gain, it's purely your body doing what is needed to have a healthy pregnancy.

It's very hard to do but you need to limit stepping on the scale (I know you say you won't put them away so how about small steps to reduce the amount you check on it?), don't compare yourself to others and have a really honest conversation with your GP and your husband.

Would things like soups and smoothies be a good idea, you can get loads of nutritients without it being a 'meal'.

I hope you get the help you need.

Just wishing you luck with your appointment OP.
There won't be a quick fix to disordered eating, which from your posts is a long term way of life for you, but I hope you can get the help you need, both in the short term for the sake of you and this baby in the longer term, so that you can make changes over time for life. You can't and won't snap out of it miraculously but I have some friends who are doing pretty well with their recovery.

They still get triggered at times but I'm so proud of them because if it happens they start again back on track. Don't be overwhelmed, you're getting help now, and don't be fobbed off either, take all the support you can get.

As some have said this is a concerning attitude and potentially disordered - I wonder if you may be able to get some help? Especially if you are restricting food while pregnant.

You are growing a live human being and there are lots of things your body needs to change which add weight/fluid. A lot of it will be lost when you have the baby, but I'm concerned the thoughts will still be there for you?