The occasional small glass of wine - will you or won't you?

[GinnyBee]

I just wondered what the current attitudes are towards the occasional small glass. I know the NHS recommendation is to avoid it completely, and I've read Expecting Better as well, so now I'm wondering what other women are doing. Will you have a small toast at Christmas or a little sip in front of the fire on a cold night, or stick to soft drinks?

In my first pregnancy I had a small glass of prosecco on my birthday, and a very small glass (less than 125ml) of special red wine on holiday. Both were in my 3rd trimester. Absolutely no harm done to baby as far as I can tell - he's now nearly 2 - but I got the most awful heartburn afterwards that it wasn't worth it

@HeyFloof I have a history of miscarriage and I over analysed everything so completely appreciate where you’re coming from when you say it’s not worth it for you.

I never drank alcohol but I did drink coffee, exercise, use a diffuser (my Mum called me to say the diffuser oils can cause miscarriage so I read the label and it backed her up!) and ate tuna etc.

A friend gave me Expecting Better to read when she could see I was over analysing everything. Whilst I may never know for certain what happened knowing the evidence has made me realise the occasional coffee I drank or the other things were almost certainly not the cause. When making decisions I now (including thinking about if I may have a drink at some point in pregnancy and I may) I always go back to the evidence and don’t think anybody can judge another for doing or acting on that.

Saying that I only had my first small coffee on Friday because it didn’t feel right before then. I’ve bought wax melts instead of a diffuser also (which the rational part of me believes is bonkers but it made me feel better!). I even asked the guy in the shop if they were safe in pregnancy so the worry never leaves completely but I can also find worry in almost every single thing I do.

I agree, I also find the attitudes interesting @GinnyBee

I read Emily Oster in my first pregnancy and as a result had the odd small glass of red from the second trimester onwards. Probably 4 in total. Toddler is perfect in every way. I’ll do the same this time

@Pamparam

I read Emily Oster in my first pregnancy and as a result had the odd small glass of red from the second trimester onwards. Probably 4 in total. Toddler is perfect in every way. I’ll do the same this time

The American economist?

I think I need to read this expecting better book.
With my first I probably had 3 glasses the whole pregnancy. With my second I had one small glass per week from the second trimester onwards. I only did this as I had been told by many people and online research that one small glass a week is totally fine and it was just part of my weekly wind down routine.
If I hadn't thought it was fine I wouldn't have touched it at all. My second child has speech delay and I'm now aware that a lot of neurological development occurs in the third trimester. I have agonised for months about whether I caused it by drinking. The guilt tore me up inside and made me very depressed. Thankfully he has started saying a few words now and hopefully it's just a delay and not a disorder but it's still a worry.
Obviously the wine could have had nothing to do with it but I'll always wonder. I'm now pregnant with DC3 and won't touch a single drop or drink caffeinated drinks.

Never did. Would have beaten myself up if anything had gone wrong, rightly or wrongly. It’s just 9 months (7 or 8 by the time most people know).

No

I didn't (mostly because I'm not much of a drinker anyway and the smell of alcohol made me feel sick the whole way through pregnancy) but an occasional small glass is very unlikely to cause harm.

You'll get lots of posters telling you you clearly have an alcohol problem if you 'can't' give it up entirely. Ignore the sanctimonious hysteria

@LindaEllen

I don't understand how people say it's personal choice, or they'll just have a few sips. What is the actual point? If you can't go without alcohol, and feel the need to have 'a few sips' to curb the craving, you have problems.

It's a few months out of your whole life. Be as healthy as you can for your baby. There is no need to drink alcohol when there is so much else out there.

This. I’m having an extremely high risk pregnancy, aged 25, and otherwise in perfect health. Every day my baby makes it through is a miracle. I’m disgusted that anyone would deliberately take this risk.

@Tabbacus the American economist who wrote the popular pregnancy book mentioned in the OP, yes.

Why would you risk it? Personally I don’t think you should be considering having a child if you can’t forgoe alcohol for 9 months. If you’re willing to put alcohol over your child’s health and safety it’s a massive red flag IMO. Plus, I’m a teacher and I’ve worked with children with FASD, children who will have massive difficulties in their lives FOREVER just because their mother could stay away from booze for 9 months.

I also have history of miscarriages and possibly opposite to most people it has made me a little bit more relaxed about all the recommendations this time. I followed all the rules rigidly with my last two pregnancies and miscarried anyway, so now after spending the past year either being pregnant or recovering from not being pregnant anymore I feel life has been miserable enough, so I've started looking more into the science behind the recommendations and whether a strict ban is really necessary or is it a case of moderation and minimising risk so I could still enjoy some things.

I'm a huge cheese fan too, and that has been harder than not drinking, so I've had a few bites of brie and some blue, as I deemed the risk of listeriosis from well packaged, pasteurised cheese low enough. But I understand if someone else would make the opposite choice and think that even a tiny risk is worth avoiding.

I'm at the age where everyone around me is having kids, and I noticed that most of my friends had the occasional small drink when pregnant, so that made me wonder whether general attitudes are on the way to relaxing again, or if it's just a little glitch in my group of friends.

I had my baby in the 80s and we all drank a big glass of wine a couple of times a week. He seems to be ok he has a degree but if I was having one today I'd avoid alcohol altogether. I cant see thst it can bring anything positive to a growing foetus.

I drank quite a bit and worked hard to justify it but unbeknownst to me I was on the way to alcoholism. Dc 16 now and I am 13 years sober but being unable to stop completely when pregnant was first red flag

Must say I'm shocked at the amount of people who drink during pregnancy and think it's okay :/

[quote Pamparam]@Tabbacus the American economist who wrote the popular pregnancy book mentioned in the OP, yes.[/quote]
Does she specialise in fetal medicine? I've just looked her up and there's nothing on Wikipedia (admittedly not the best source ) about her medical career/knowledge , only that she studies data. I've heard this book cited loads but haven't read it.

@HeyFloof Her job is to analyse data, which is what she does for the book looking at pregnancy recommendations and the evidence behind them.

Our NCT teacher told us to have 2 glasses of champagne while in labour.

1. it's a celebration to celebrate
2. the alcohol relaxes you
3. you're in labour, you're done growing the baby lol

I never managed to do it as my labours were fast but I liked the idea of a bath with champers.

There's also a huge difference between downing pints every night and a small glass of wine on Xmas day.

I wouldn't, currebtly 18 weeks and the thought of a drink hasn't even crossed my mind. The thought of not having paté as a starter at Christmas is more of a killer for me!

Most people on MN will tell you they've never drunk anything at all during pregnancy and drinking anything is abhorrent and harmful and you are an alcoholic!!! in my experience the people I know in real life have all had a small drink of sorts, including me! Although as time went on I stopped as I forgot about alcohol and didn't really fancy it any more. Do what feels right OP. I never had more than a very small glass (60-70ml) of wine or a half-pint of shandy but I was happy with that.

I'm 9 months pregnant and have had the occasional sip of wine throughout, then regretted it as I miss it so much. At our NCT class there were 3 GPs and they've all had several glasses of wine. It's just personal choice

Didn't drink at all during any of my three. It's not worth the risk. We know alcohol is bad for us. Why would we inflict it on a baby? It's only 9 months. I believe that if people can't go 9 months without, they've got a drink problem.

@HeyFloof what the OP said above. She looks at papers and studies and adjusts for all sorts of factors (size and type of study, were they randomised etc). Then offers a summary based on her analysis of the data.

@sageandbasil
it’s just personal choice
What about the choice of the child not to have to grow up with health issues and learning difficulties for the rest of their life just because their selfish mother couldn’t go 9 months without alcohol?

I've had a sip of my DHs wine when he's been drinking something particularly nice. I'll probably carry on with that but it's so small I can't see how it could matter. I don't feel like drinking more and I'm already on medication that creates risks to the baby so I don't see the point in drinking more / more risk.