The occasional small glass of wine - will you or won't you?

[GinnyBee]

I just wondered what the current attitudes are towards the occasional small glass. I know the NHS recommendation is to avoid it completely, and I've read Expecting Better as well, so now I'm wondering what other women are doing. Will you have a small toast at Christmas or a little sip in front of the fire on a cold night, or stick to soft drinks?

@BabyLove22

Well considering it says "no amount is safe in pregnancy" I'm going to go with the fact that it should be a no but people still do, but I personally will never understand how mothers choose to do things they're definitely not supposed to during pregnancy 🤷🏼‍♀️ not worth it atall imo

You’ve misunderstood. “No amount is safe” doesn’t mean “any amount is unsafe”. It means that it isn’t possible to prove what amount is safe, largely because everyone is different. People should read the book mentioned in the OP - the scientific studies that have been done seem to confirm that a small amount (1-2 small glasses of wine a week) is extremely unlikely to be harmful.

Personally I will be having some small occasional drinks at Christmas as I am due on Christmas Day

Genuinely don't understand the desperate need for alcohol when pregnant? 😅

@willithappen

Genuinely don't understand the desperate need for alcohol when pregnant? 😅

I don't really drink but omg when I was pregnant I was desperate for a glass of wine. Both times! I never gave in and the craving went once the babies were born.

I think it's more wanting things you can't have.

I wouldn't risk it personally. I've suffered alot of losses and think having 1 glass or a sip just sounds pointless anyways. My partner wouldnt be happy.. Infact I think he would be furious if I did! I'm not a big drinker anyways (was when I was younger).

So for me it will be zero sugar soft drink as I have GD!x

I didn't drink at all for the 6 months we were TTC, and the most I've had whilst pregnant is a 0.5% classed as alcohol free beer. It's only now at 35 weeks that I'm starting to miss the taste of whisky and other delicious things, as up to now the queasiness has completely put me off anything alcoholic for the fear of feeling even dizzier. So far, the third trimester is the best I've felt the whole pregnancy, so I'm looking forward to a celebratory drink in a few weeks!

No judgement to those who do wish to have a sip or a glass over Christmas! Everyone is different. Just isn't for me 😊

I felt nauseous and generally quite crap for the vast majority of my first pregnancy so alcohol wasn’t exactly appealing.

Almost 12 weeks into pregnancy no. 2 and honestly an alcoholic drink is the last thing I want!

My children were born in the 90s, just, saying that makes me feel old and I had nothing to drink as soon as I knew I might be pregnant. It didn't feel too much of a hardship though. I used to enjoy a drink, but I was never a wine-o-clock person.

I had two small glasses of wine over my entire pregnancy. - One on our wedding anniversary & one on my birthday. Midwife said that would be fine. I do not need the glass of wine but it was celebratory and not dangerous. Dr said to me that drinking lots over pregnancy is more likely to get fetal alcohol syndrome - but she also said that those who drink to excess probably won't be eating properly & that counts towards the problem - so e.g. vitamins for baby

I’ve also read expecting better and looked at the evidence which shows no negative impact if you have one drink a day in the second and third trimesters and one/two drinks a week in the first.

The evidence shows heavy drinking in the range of ‘4/5’ drinks and speed of drinking matter and can have a negative impact.

I think the nhs stance is no alcohol because it’s a straight forward and more fool proof message than actually outlining the evidence and supporting making informed choices.

I’ve had no desire to drink and haven’t but if I want one at Christmas I will and it will be an informed choice, not because of pressure to drink or equally not to. It also won’t be a desperate need, it’s not a desperate need when I’m not pregnant either!

It’s not ok to suggest anybody’s a bad mum to be, poses a problem to their baby or suggests the have a bigger problem with alcohol because they have one drink!

To add I’ve looked at the evidence for everything I eat and drink, not just alcohol and there’s lots of areas the nhs advice doesn’t match up with the actual evidence base so I wouldn’t always go off that!

At the risk of incurring the wrath of Mumsnet, I'll be honest in my reply

In both pregnancies I didn't drink at all in the first trimester then allowed myself the occasional small glass of wine after that - probably one a month or similar. Always with food and always stretched out over a couple of hours. No harm done.

I planned to have a glass of baileys on Christmas eve because i always do. When it came to it I decided not to and I didn't miss it. Same with a glass of champagne for New Years Eve. But I'm not a big drinker anyway

I gave up alcohol completely 3 months before ttc my first and haven't touched a single drop since (my first is now 3 and I'm pregnant again).

I also ate soft cheese - DS is healthy 6ft boy of 26.

I mostly didn't feel like alcohol most of the time while pregnant, and not much of a drinker at the best of times but I had the occasional glass of wine or half when I did feel like it. The 'rock shandy' (half soda water/half lemonade, few drops of angostura bitters) is your friend in pubs or at parties when not drinking!

Threads like this are always going to be tipped towards confirmation biased though. Those who didn't drink, and those who had a drink and their babies are fine.

When I was about 5 weeks pregnant with ds2, I had a couple of sips of prosecco. He had spina bifida, a neural tube defect which occurs in the first 6 weeks. I'll always wonder if that alcohol caused the damage that led to losing him at 21+4. In reality, it was probably multiple things, but the guilt is horrific and has taken a lot of therapy to work through and I wouldn't wish it in anyone. As a result, I'd never take the chance again.

If he was a healthy, bouncing eight month old baby boy, as he should be, chances are I'd be thinking "well it didn't do him any harm".

I had 3 drinks throughout the entire pregnancy - not sure why I bothered because I just felt guilty afterwards. I also got rather drunk the week before I found out I was pregnant, whoops.

I have one small drink about three nights a week given there is no evidence that this level of drinking harms unborn babies. Will probably have two small drinks on Xmas day by which point I'll be eight months pregnant

I quite agree with @Oti21 that suggesting someone has problems because they enjoy a glass of wine is really quite disingenuous. Is it just wine that applies to, or are other pleasures also problematic, like crisps and ice cream? Neither are exactly healthy, does it mean you have problems if you can't go 9 months without and make healthy choices instead?

I haven't drank at all so far (and wouldn't in the first trimester anyway), partly because I still struggle with nausea particularly in the evenings, but I don't know I won't if and when I start feeling better. I don't really believe that in the second and third trimesters a small amount occasionally will do any harm, it certainly doesn't seem to correlate with any higher incidences of birth defects in the continent where attitudes are less strict, and no such thing has been proven. If at Christmas I feel like I can enjoy a glass of Champers I probably will, as I really enjoy the taste of good Champagne.

Also as a foodie you miss half of the experience if you don't have the right wine with a certain food, and I don't think that means someone has problems. It's about what you enjoy, not desperate need.

Everyone should make their own choices based on available evidence, that's all we really can do.

I avoided all alcohol after I found out until my 12th week, as this is the time the baby's organs are developing. At 18 weeks, I am allowing myself to enjoy the very occasional small glass of wine.
My mum, a very experienced midwife, has told me it's fine and how she enjoyed a weekly pint of Guinness with all four of her problem free pregnancies and healthy babies! Think some people, who don't quite grasp the science behind it, have been a bit holier than thou on here.
Relax and enjoy your pregnancy and if that means the occasional glass of wine, so be it, it does not mean you have an alcohol problem.

Think some people, who don't quite grasp the science behind it, have been a bit holier than thou on here.

It's also really easy to be dismissive about it when you don't have a dead or damaged baby and the guilt that goes with it, wondering what you did wrong.

My DM was anaemic when pregnant with me (mid 80s) and was told to drink half a pint of mackisons a night to get her iron levels up. I'm fine. But it doesn't mean I'd do it myself. In fact, can you even imagine that being the advice from a doctor now!?

Pointless asking other people. I drank moderately throughout three pregnancies and all my children are lovely bright and healthy. Attitudes have changed over the years.

But it's the attitudes I find interesting, I don't think it's pointless at all 🤔

No.
But I drank very heavily the first month- had no idea I was pregnant and we were not trying. Had lots of parties and a holiday, only found out when I couldn’t get my jeans on, when I got back into normal routine.

MW said it was fine and no harm done and that she drank a couple of half a lagers throughout her pregnancies, she told me you have to be drinking alcoholic levels of alcohol throughout to affect a foetus - that was five years ago.
I think the odd glass is ok, but it just feels weird and I couldn’t enjoy it anyway.