Im not sure what I’m expecting from writing this. Maybe I just need to vent, to people who might understand.
I have done 2 rounds of clomid, having been ttc for 2 years prior. I had my recent follicle tracking scan after the second round only to find that there’s been no growth in the eggs at all. I can’t help but feel defeated. It’s a long process, 2 months between the scans and it’s quite scary when it doesn’t do anything for you because it’s like “I can’t have kids naturally and now even on the fertility meds I can’t” everyone around me is telling me “it will be ok” and “keep positive” and “it will work eventually don’t worry” and I get they are coming from a good place but I just want to scream, no it’s not ok!! No I don’t need to be positive! And no it might not actually happen for me!! The doctor told me that they don’t actually know how to make women “like me” ovulate and that these meds are just an attempt so they may not actually work for me. Which is so upsetting and I feel like a huge waste of my time. It’s been 4 months on 2 cycles of clomid and I now have to wait till December for another scan, to be told it’s not worked again? Nobody around me understands how rubbish it feels, after already being infertile, and then the drugs aren’t working for me, it feels like the doors are closing and there’s limited options for me. It’s so scary.