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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How do you deal with size comments?

63 replies

micegg · 08/12/2007 00:05

I think I must be a little sensitive about bodyshape, etc as the one thing I am finding really hard to handle are the people who look you up and down and comment on your size. I am mostly talking about work colleagues. Example, this week (and I only work PT) I was 'jokingly' called fatty by 2 people [hmmm] and as I walked into the building before I had even taken my bloody coat off this woman (who I rarely speak too) said "OOh you are carrying big this time aren't you". I looked her in the eye and said "please dont say that to me. I dont want to be told how big I am at 8 in the morning". I know I am a tad hormonal at the moent but if one more person comments I will rip their heads off with my acid tongue. What is it with people and stupid comments when you are pregnant. Grrrrr. Thats to go along with comparing your bump size with our people and touching your stomach.

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Original poster

micegg · 08/12/2007 00:06

I meant comparing bump size with OTHER people. I need to go to bed.

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Original poster

micegg · 08/12/2007 00:07

And another thing I am only 23 weeks pregnant and wouldnt say I am particularly big. I am only 5'4" FFS so it can only go outwards.

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mitfordsisters · 08/12/2007 09:24

Hi micegg. It sounds like there are some people at your work who don't have any manners. One man at my work made a rude comment, but I know that's because he's generally disgruntled and can't be nice to women. I've resolved that if he does it again, I will tell him to keep comments to himself - well done for putting that woman in her place!

Or if they are like this, please just wander off and pretend you haven't heard. Bask in compliments instead. I'm sure you look absolutely beautiful!

morningpaper · 08/12/2007 09:31

I tended to say "Well at least I've got an excuse" and pat them on the arse and walk off

Or "But darling, which one of us will still be porky come ?" with a suitable pat on their fat belly/arse etc

Obviously the answer to the latter question was me, but I'd be swanning around on maternity leave by then and they wouldn't ever know

finallypregnant · 08/12/2007 09:41

This is a comment that really does annoy me - for god sake, you are carrying a human being! I am only 12 weeks so probably have the insensitive comments to come but I am a member of a wedding forum where girls have posted pictures of themselves and others have turned round and said you are huge. It really bloody annoys me. The suggestions made above are good ones. Just remember, you are keeping your baby warm and happy and don't let these ignorant people upset you.

SantasGotABigFatEllieG · 08/12/2007 09:59

One of my clients patted me on the stomach (which I HATE) and said 'Ooo you're big when are you due' I said 'April' to which she replied 'you must be having a big girl. Big like her mummy'.
Didn't know whether to cry or throw something at her. She's only so bloody skinny herself cos she's a smackhead anyway.

Lizzylou · 08/12/2007 10:15

Oh, I got this all the time, went for a nice meal with DH when I was about 5mths and was asked if they'd need hot water and towels for my imminent birth. Then, when I explained how far along I was, was told it must be twins.
I was huge with DS2, he was massive but there's no need for people (esp bloomin strangers!) commenting on your bump!
Revel in your expanding waistline, and only worry about it afterwards

motherinferior · 08/12/2007 10:29

I feel your pain. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, felt they had a right to comment on my size in my second pregnancy. Friends sent emails from across the UK about how enormous I was rumoured to be. Lorry drivers leaned out of their lorries to comment.

(I'd ONLY PUT ON A STONE, ffs, but it was all in front. I looked as if someone had grafted a watermelon onto me. And I'm only five foot tall.)

I think MP's suggestion is the right one, personally.

SantasGotABigFatEllieG · 08/12/2007 10:35

I'm going to try that one. However, it's a bit tricky when said by a really skinny person. Maybe I can just tell them not to be so f-ing rude.

Bouncingturtle · 08/12/2007 10:36

My usual response is "Well I AM pregnant... what's your excuse?". Or if they've really ticked me off then it's "I really don't need to hear that - the only thing you may say to me is things on the lines of 'you look like you're blooming'".
If I'm REALLY pissed off, I punch them.
Really does irritate the hell of me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people seem to think that when you are pg you develop a really thick skin along with your bump. We do not! We're are already feeling fragile and vulnerable because of hormones and various aches and pains so BE NICE... or we will sit on you!

Bouncingturtle · 08/12/2007 10:37

Santa - yep that works for the skinny people.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/12/2007 10:38

Just say "I'm pregnant wats your excuse?"

foxythesnowman · 08/12/2007 10:39

You can just politely say, "That's quite rude you know, but I shan't take offence" .

Then they will feel bad for the rest of the day.

Or is that mean?

SantasGotABigFatEllieG · 08/12/2007 10:39

Either that, or am going to have a t-shirt printed that says 'If you tell me I look bog I will punch you'

mylittleponey · 08/12/2007 10:46

had lots when preg - I was huge but didn't like the comments I got. Just said things back like - yes I am big. or I'll be even bigger soon. I gained around 30 kilos each time.

BellaBear · 08/12/2007 10:47

It's also crap being told you are small (I'm not, but I've had comments on both how BIG I am and how SMALL in the space of literally ten minutes by different people at work)

Being told you are small makes you stress that something must be wrong. And honestly, how many people have enough experience to make comments about relative size of bumps versus how pregnant you are? Midwives get it wrong so how the hell are people I work with meant to know???!!!

Dalrymps · 08/12/2007 10:49

i had loads of comments but on how small i was, people would say 'oh i didn't even realise you were pregnant', and 'don't worry you'll get real fat soon, you'll be massive at the end', i wasn't massive at the end, my baby was 6lb 5oz,small but perfectly formed. honestly people made me feel like i was making it up or starving myself, i wasn't!
i would just force a smile and say yes i know and then get upset/paranoid later . People have an obsession with giving you their oppinion when you're pregnant on EVERYTHING, just try to ignore them

HayleyandRoo · 08/12/2007 11:12

I really like being told I'm big (i know, it's my first pregnanacy and the novelty will wear off soon).

What i DON'T like is when people say 'yes I thought you'd go big because you never used to be a small girl did you?' (I lost 5 stone JUST before I got pregnant). Or 'You lost all that weight and now you're back to square one'. Or 'Well you wern't small before and your norks were always huge but now you're MASSIVE'

I DO like 'Goodness me, isn't that bump getting big' and being called 'Chunky' or 'Tubby' by people I'm close to because it constantly reminds me that I'm pregnant and I love the look of pregnant tummies. But that's different.

SantasGotABigFatEllieG- If someone said to me what they said to you my hormones would have accidently put them on their arse!

KelaS · 08/12/2007 11:12

I'm the total opposite - I am quite big and therefore it took ages before my bump started to show - I am 33+6 and have only really looked obviousy pregnant rather than fat for a few weeks now - would love it if people at work commented on how big my bump is like they did for the other girl in my office who is due tomorrow (and a lot thinner than me to start with), but I think they are scared of commenting on my size for all the reasons above

gingerwench · 08/12/2007 11:20

I've been told that the people in the office have been discussing my size and think that I'm still looking quite trim (I'm 15+2 weeks and although huge bum and thighs I have a naturally small waist) I didn't know if it was meant to be a compliment or if they disputed if I was really pregnant, or if they thought I always had a bit of a tummy. Honestly it's early days. I'm looking forward to a proper bump and buying maternity clothes rather than filling out my exisitng clothes and looking a bit porky. I don't like the idea that people are talking about my shape and size behind my back but perhaps they always did anyway?

spackcat · 08/12/2007 20:08

'I was called fatty by 2 people' - this happened to me also only the other day in the staff room just as I was about to stuff a cadburys mini roll into my gob! I didn't know where to put myself! I'm perfectly normal sized too - I have noticed that it is more often than not rather obviously overweight people that feel the need to pass comment on my bump aswell, has anyone else found this? Dalrymps - this doesn't end with pregnancy, it's only the begining!

Lubyloo · 08/12/2007 20:15

I have to say that after trying for years to get pregnant I loved every comment I got about my enormous girth (although I wouldn't have liked it if they'd said I was small because that would have had me worrying)

LadyOfTheFlowers · 08/12/2007 20:18

I said :

'I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?' as most people who commented were large.

I was massive both times.

robinredbreast · 08/12/2007 20:21

i think the problem id people ont realise there upsetting anyone its just something to say
although someone i worked with kept saying ohhh you are BIG for x amount of weeks blah blah making me feel like a hippo

merrydaisy · 08/12/2007 20:24

I was told I looked like the Michelin Man when I was 5 months pregnant - wasn't happy

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