How do you deal with size comments?

[micegg]

I think I must be a little sensitive about bodyshape, etc as the one thing I am finding really hard to handle are the people who look you up and down and comment on your size. I am mostly talking about work colleagues. Example, this week (and I only work PT) I was 'jokingly' called fatty by 2 people [hmmm] and as I walked into the building before I had even taken my bloody coat off this woman (who I rarely speak too) said "OOh you are carrying big this time aren't you". I looked her in the eye and said "please dont say that to me. I dont want to be told how big I am at 8 in the morning". I know I am a tad hormonal at the moent but if one more person comments I will rip their heads off with my acid tongue. What is it with people and stupid comments when you are pregnant. Grrrrr. Thats to go along with comparing your bump size with our people and touching your stomach.

Have you tried looking back at them with raised eyebrows? (As if they have made a stupid comment - which they have!).

Luckily I haven't had any negative comments but i am big compared with my SIL's when they were pregnant. I just say "I'm making a baby", in the manner of Waynetta Slob!

Ooooo... so many of us can relate.

About a month ago I really got so sick of the comments I almost went into hibernation, because I had started to feel so negative about my shape, whereas first time around I didn't care. That, and it made it worse when people were telling me that I must be ready to drop soon.. so I lied rather than tell them actually I have 3 mths left .

It took a good friend and DH to get me to focus on the points such as I was growing a baby (that so far things going ok) and to enjoy this time as best as I can, and also it's always women that make the comments, men DON'T make the judgements.. do you/everyone else find this? Thinking like this really helped, even if I started to think recently again that I was making the baby too big as I was up for a growth scan!

Ignore (hard I know) the stoopid people, and embrace the body that it is, there is a little one their creation is amazing If things get too bad, tell them you are having quins, I have tried this on one occassion .

The 'fatty' comments have both come from men. I think I will just ask them not to say it. Something along the lines of " You wouldnt have said that before I was pregnant so there is no need to start now". Must go. 2 yr old has run off with my contact lenses!

I was very lucky that no-one ever commented on my size (until afterwards, but that was because I was back to my pre-pregnancy size v. quickly). I armed myself with the phrase "That's a very personal comment" and a hurt look on my face, in case anyone was so rude as to comment on my size, but never had to use it!

Being driven mad by people making comments every time I eat cake (which is every break ). Apart from bump I am pretty thin, I wouldn't mind except the people who make the comments are generally fatter than me anyway! Feel tempted to reply rudely but normally i just laugh in fake sort of way.

I found that looking the person in the eye and very calmly responding that I didnt appreciate their remark would have the result i wanted - namely looking very embarassed with themselves.
Any comments when pregnant just need to be ignored - people for whatever reason feel the need to comment - whether your bump is big/small/high/low...the list is endless! I for one hated the comments about how small i was and hated the feeling that I was somehow depriving DS of essential nutrients.
That and the oh so help ful comments when i started to get a little uncomfy...'oh you wait, you'll get way more uncomfortable before the baby arrives, wait and see'
err....thanks for the that...

wait until the baby arrives tho...then all you'll be told is how tired you look...it never stops.

People are horrible aren't they. I'm 29 weeks, signed off work at moment with SPD, but I couldn't face going to the office Christmas lunch as I knew I would get the "fatty" and "you're huge" comments, and I'm just feeling too vunerable at the moment. One woman in particular used to say really horrible things, but what I found amazing was she was at least a size 20 and 5' tall, so the words "glass houses" always used to pop into my head, a nice bloke I work with told me he thought she was jealous. Which I think is probably true of a lot of people. I'm practising looking at their bellies whilst raising one eyebrow, it seems to be working!

Last pregnancy when out with friends, a male friend apologised to DH and said sorry mate but I can't stop admiring her amazing boobs! Everyone fell around laughing and I felt fantastic! So now I try to only remember the nice comments, like what a neat bump etc. Keep your chins up girls.

By the way, soon they will be obsessing about how fast we loose our bellies!

I like that one about the boobs bluedomino! My DP likes my new ones - am rather chuffed with them actually. Am trying to concentrate on them rather than the expanse of wobbly belly underneath!

i get the small comments, 39+3 and certainly don't look it, had allthe worrying growth scans, consultant checks and baby is perfect size. As if tat hasn't been stressful enough everyone feels the need to have really concerned faces asking if I'm eating (no - i'm starving me and baby), have i been checked out, am i not concerned, i should learn my lesson for next time!!!!

My mil commented the other day on how I was now showing and then said, "it's funny, when you're pregnant, you're slim for ages and then suddenly you get huge all over, don't you?" Ahem? I can still wear my skinny jeans thank you very much (albeit with the button open under DH's belt....)
With DS1, it was always the old or middle-aged men at the supermarket who'd comment on the bump and ask if it was twins, followed by their own guffaws. Women knew better.

I also got a comment like:'here comes the fat lady'. so we definitely all get them. I think that once you are pregnant you become a walking opportunity for other peoples projections. And it doesn't end when the baby is born, comments will just be about other things. (like we have dog at home and people were always warning me about how dangerous this was, even though they had never met our dog, who by the way is like a big hairy pillow) People are judgmental but I think I have probably also been guilty of saying the odd 'knowing' comment which has probably annoyed my other pregnant friends. So I think a thickened skin is essential. All our decisions will be under scrutiny. Breastfeed or not, creche or not, which sports/instruments they play, the list goes on and on. That is why things like Mumsnet is so important. We gotta keep talking to eachother

My MIL telephoned me yesterday specifically to tell me, in a chirpy, excited voice, that one of her neighbours had just been round for a cup of tea. The woman had apparently said that she saw me getting out of the car last Thursday and asked how long I'd got left to go. When MIL informed her that I'd got just over 8 weeks left she laughed and said "Why, by the looks of her, I thought she would be dropping it any minute!"

Firstly, why, I've seen bigger bumps than mine! but secondly, and more importantly, why did MIL think I would want to hear what this insensitive cow had to say?

Anyway, my response to MIL was simple, I just hung up!

Good for you! I am ignoring everyone who says stupid things and trying not to let them get to me.
Hear hear to what Annabelle said

Yep, sod 'em all, that's what I say!
Mind you, I don't think people realise that the things they are saying can really hurt, especially when you take the hormones into account! It's just the same with bump touching, complete strangers will walk up to you and start fondling the bump and I know I'm often so surprised by it that I just freeze on the spot but once I've come to my senses I'm really annoyed by it, They can't help themselves and they can't know what they're doing, it's the only explaination!

I am already a chunky girl size 20/22 clothes but am also 5'10 I am 20+4 and people just think I have put on weight rather then am pregnant my bosses sister was in our office last week and said oh my god are you really pregnant!

The worst was last week when I saw the midwife she felt my belly and in shock said "oh i can feel baby" I replied with "I am chunky but have never suffered from a fat gut!" cheeky cow!

I had a halloween party for DD when I was about 17/18weeks pg, I was told I looked ready to drop!

A friend stopped me at school yesterday and said 'oh my you're looking rather large now aren't you' I'm 23 weeks.

It doesn't really bother me too much tbh, I was a size 12 when I fell pg with ds and was wearing size 22 tops when I went in to have him, so I know I get big.

What does annoy me though si that the first 3 months of pregnancy I had HG and lost about two stone, but it was over the summer holidays so everyone at school just though I was still fat and not that it was baby!!!

I can't beleive some people's rudness! on TLSM and VS's behalf.

And am with you pk - I HATE people touching my belly. What on earth makes them think it's OK to mawl you just because you're PG? Very odd and annoying.

In fact, have decided am going to bite the next person that does it. That'll learn 'em.

im with BellaBear,i got fed up with people saying i was too small.i put on 2 stone each time but was only 6stone to start with so i felt there must be something wrong.-was my baby too small?was i doing something wrong?.in the end i smiled sweetly and walked away ignoring comments.

just so you know you cant win either way youll either be too big or too small.

to be fair, people are saying I'm really big as well. In the same ten minutes, so I know it's them not me!

True enough. If you have a nice healthy baby then you can tell them to stuff it.

Blessyou, I know how it feels. I put on nearly 4 stone with a 9lb 12 baby - from being a size 8/10 and I had many comments!

Usual ones -
aren't you fat in the face?
Cor look at the size of your bump!
You are carrying heavy! ?
Have I eaten too many doughnuts.
And many more.

You should ask them what there excuse is!

It can be tough to hear things from people and it does get on your nerves. You just have to try and rise above the comments, and just smile and say 'yes, thanks I need to be told I am as large as a elephant, have a nice day'

SGABFEG - lol at "In fact, have decided am going to bite the next person that does it. That'll learn 'em." If I can come out of frozen stiff mode soon enough I might just bite too!

This drives me crazy too! I haven't had the thing about complete strangers touching me - thank god - but whenever I go out, I get total strangers commenting on my size, or asking when I'm due (march) and then asking if I'm having twins, and recoiling in horror when I say no. I'm 5'2", where on earth is it meant to go?! Apart from anything else, the GP and the midwife don't seem to be able to agree on how large my fundal measurement is, so I'm having a growth scan tomorrow and I'm really nervous. The last thing I need is bloody strangers adding to my paranoia!