Breastfeeding positive stories?

[Nicola2182]

Hi all

I would like to breastfeed but everywhere I read are complete horror stories (bleeding nipples/baby losing weight/mastitis etc) and how difficult it is! I'm thinking is it worth the stress?

My son was born with a severe tongue tie and couldn't feed at first, so I the amazing nurses had to hand express colostrum...utterly soul destroying, but I persevered, got FANTASTIC advice from a lactation consultant, got tongue tie snipped at 1 week then had a beautiful breastfeeding journey all the way until he self weaned at 4.

The first few weeks as your supply is getting established are really hard. But then it is SO much easier, and cheaper, than alternative forms of feeding.
I found this to be particularly true when my son was older as the power of boob calmed all meltdowns and made bedtimes SO much easier.

It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, my proudest achievement.

(And yes, in case you're balking at the 4yo, I also thought babies magically stopped breastfeeding at 6m. Spoiler: they don't!)

My DS was born early via emergency c section. He was sick and in NICU. He was tube fed to begin with. Literally everything against us in terms of breastfeeding but he was latching and feeding as soon as I was able to hold him. He had his tube removed at 3 days old and was feeding well. Breastfeeding was such a welcome bonding thing for us after our rocky start and I've honestly really enjoyed it.

Took us 6 weeks to settle in but he's just going to sleep now. He's 2 next month!

It's something really special we've shared and I'll treasure it. I know it'll be coming to an end soon and that's okay, I've enjoyed it even though it's been challenging at times.

My story us an odd one perhaps.
My plan was to do 50-50 formula and breastfeeding initially, and then move to fully formula at a few months. I've got nothing against boob but I wanted to be able to share feeding.

Within a few days, baby started refusing bottles. The more she refused, the more i tried to screw up breastfeeding, so that she'd have to take a bottle. The day after my milk came in, I deliberately didn't feed her with boobs for about 7 hours. I avoided foods that were good for milk supply whilst reading extra ones that were bad for it. I didn't drink enough i didn't feel like i could day no to her but i really really didn't want to exclusively breastfeed so i the every obstacle in the way that I could.

2 weeks in i accepted that she'd be mostly breastfed, and 6 weeks in i have up the remaining efforts. She's 2.5 and still breastfeed.

It didn't hurt, latch was as easy as her opening her mouth and me shoving boob in. Physically it's been easy from day 1. In the early days she'd usually feed for 10-14m every 3hrs, but after about 9m she started feeding more and waking more at night.

I wouldn't be in a hurry to do it again, though I'd be willing to give mix feeding another try, but that's because my first was formula feed, and I preferred that. I liked sharing the nights, and the equality of bond it gave us. I hate that no matter how I feel, even if I'm delerious with fever, in the one that has to feed her (bottle refusers are surprisingly common).

So I'm a success in that i 'succeeded' at breastfeeding even when i tried not to, so clearly it's not always difficult, even in the beginning.

I'm on baby number 3 and have been extremely lucky

All 3 latched perfectly from day 1. I've never (touch wood as smallest still just 11 weeks) had mastitis. The first two weeks were painful. I wondered how the blisters could ever heal but I promise that they do (multi mam compresses are a gift from the gods in the meantime).

Breastfed DC1 exclusively for 6 months and carried on til 10 months.

DC2 for 4 months exclusive and carried on til 7 montha.

Hope to get to 6 months exclusive with DC3 and maybe carry on until 1 and avoid any formula this time.

While formula is necessary for many I hated it. Hated sterilising bottles, hated waiting for the kettle to reach the right temp and then waiting for the bottle to cool. Hated having to schuggle the baby to sleep because they ran out of milk and can't keep sucking on an empty bottle. Hated how freaking expensive it was. Hate that it often causes constipation.

Yes you are the only one who can do it but the reality is you will be the one who does the vast majority of feeds anyway and it is soooo much easier to whip out a boob of perfect temperature milk.

I would like to believe that my laid back approach meant that baby latched straight away and we avoided any great complications but, I know that would be incredibly naive

Naive, stupid, ignorant…. The list goes on

I was incredibly lucky and found it easy from day one. I was expecting it to be hard, and had all the worries and insecurities about whether I was doing it right, whether DD was getting enough, was she latching properly, was that a patch of thrush on her tongue, etc...

But really she seemed to know what to do straight away. All I had to do was open my top and glomp. Away she went. No soreness, no cracking, no bleeding. The let-down pains were quite intense, but also reassuring that all was working correctly.

I'm not here to brag or to rub it in because I know it can be incredibly difficult and soul destroying if it doesn't work out. But I just want to spread a little hope. Because it can be very straightforward, too. It's mostly luck, I think.

I don't say this to make anyone feel bad....

But I have a positive story.

From a physical side I found it easy. Not much pain, figured it out together fairly quickly. Lucky. No nastiest, bleeding etc. Top top, Lanisoh before after after every feed.

The hard bits were the regularlity of feeding and the constant demands on me. But overall I enjoyed and we did it for a LONG time.

I found it so easy, no bottles etc.

So there are positive stories, but I accept we were lucky.

I had a difficult birth in theatre with my first and fed him with no issues.

My second was an elective c section and I’m feeding him now no bother.

My second had a tongue tie but it was easily sorted, I did get cracked nipples as a resort but it really wasn’t that bad. I was so determined not to have the hassle of bottles that I would have withstood anything!

Re people’s “milk coming in” it’s such a misconception that it should be there quickly. Colostrum, which is what you’ll have from birth, is exactly what your baby needs until your mature milk comes in.

@hellothere007

I would like to believe that my laid back approach meant that baby latched straight away and we avoided any great complications but, I know that would be incredibly naive

Naive, stupid, ignorant…. The list goes on

I'm not sure that's very helpful when the poster was providing examples of success stories as requested. Uncalled for

I breastfed all my 4 for a total of probably 11 years.
Every DC had some difficulties and so did I (cracked nipples and mastitis) but I could not imagine not breastfeeding.
1st DC born a bit sleepy as I was given Pethidine,taken to NICU overnight (born at 6pm) and back with me in the morning.Was not interested in sucking at all and developed jaundice severe enough to end up under lamp for a week.I was loosing my mind and he did eventually started latching on properly on day 4 but only when I was wearing nipple shields.Afterwards,happily breastfed for a year,I did have cracked nipples and mastitis but it was short lived.
2nd DC,skin to skin straight away,breastfed within an hour,hungry baby and was worried at day 2 but all was fine and breastfed for 2,5 years.
3rd DC same as 2nd but at day 3 PP midwife said he's sleepy,send to hospital for check up,spend there 4 days trying to feed and pumping occasionally,given all clear and breastfed for 2.8 years.Was very anxious and gave formula few times in first weeks but after 12 weeks it was pretty straight forward apart from few bouts of mastitis.
4th DC,similar to 2&3rd but developed polycythemia on day1/2,admitted to NICU for 5 days.I was separated (on postanal ward) so visited every 3 hours/pumped in a meantime,was a bit panicky about her not getting enough liquids so did give formula few times in a first few weeks,her blood was incredibly thick so hydration was very important.Afterwards,all was fine,had mild mastitis and I could not believe it but she was way more stubborn than her brothers and only stopped BF in May at rioe age of 4.7 years old.
Wish you all the best on your BF journey.

Both my babies were really easy to breastfeed, I had absolutely no issues whatsoever and really enjoyed it.

I think it's complete luck of the draw. I had the odd case of mastitis when dropping feeds / weaning which isn't very nice, but other than that absolutely no problems what so ever.

I think just give it a go and don't put too much pressure on yourself to carry on if it's not working out for you. It's not the be all and end all.

I think you probably hear more negative stories as people it's working out ok for probably don't talk about it as much because they don't want to sound smug and and preachy.

It's not always easy at the start but it's sooooo much easier than all the faffing with bottles once you've cracked it

I had sections both times, one emergency, one elective and asked for help in recovery and then persevered

Things that helped me:
Supportive DH & family
Putting money in a jar for equivalent formula cost - holiday fund!
Nipple shields
Remembering a newborn's stomach is the size of a walnut and colostrum fills it fine fir the first few days
It's normal that your milk can come in day 2-5
The ease of just sticking them on in the middle of the night when it's cold!
Not having to carry stuff round all the time - boob, muslin, done

Do ask for help - 98% of mothers can physiologically breastfeed - but around half need some assistance to manage it

Good luck

I bottle fed my first and breast fed my second until he weaned himself off breast at around 13 months old.
Beginning was hard, he was constantly on breast, it took time for my breasts to sort of toughen up, his latch wasn't greatest to start off so I went to my local breastfeeding group (this was before COVID) where they looked at my feeding and helped tremendously with how I positioned him on my breast, I was going to stop so many times but once got the advise to never stop on a bad day so just sort of carried on day after day and then suddenly when he was around 6 weeks old things just got easier, and I absolutely loved feeding him until the end. Everywhere we went, milk was ready, no dragging bottles, powders and flasks everywhere like I did with my first. No need to go down in the night to make bottles, I really enjoyed all those months and if I was to have another baby, I would definitely love to breastfeed if possible.

My baby is 4 weeks old on Monday and I must say we have both taken to breast feeding really well! She's gaining weight snd I'm producing loads of milk! I h my ever thought I was going to get on with it but the experience so far has been really positive!

I breastfed my DC for two years and it was incredibly rewarding and such a lovely experience. I didn’t set out to breastfeed for that long at all. Initially I just wanted to give it a good go and I didn’t expect it to be easy. Knew about cluster feeding and sore nipples etc. And initially it wasn’t very easy - DC struggled to latch, loved to cluster feed and I did have mastitis. But it became easy. And it was so convenient and also a magic parenting tool. So even with a bit of a challenging start, I feel like breastfeeding was 100 per cent worth it for us.

We introduced some formula at six months and I found that to be much more of a pain - breastfeeding was much less of a faff for me.

I read somewhere to never give up breastfeeding on a bad day and that was really useful advice when we were establishing breastfeeding.

Good luck whatever you decide.

DC1 was formula fed from a few weeks onwards, but bf DC2 for three years.
We had a bit of a rocky start as she was in intensive care so I had to express and she was syringe fed. It was painful to begin with, I had mastitis several times, and thrush. Cluster feeding every evening was a new level of exhausting. BUT I still much preferred it to formula feeding. It was overall so much easier, much less faff with sterilising and carrying bottles around, more sleep because I'd just feed laying down rather than having to go down to the kitchen to make up bottles. And free!

I had an EMCS so it was a good few days for my milk to come in but BF has been a dream. Still going over a year later. I've had a blocked duct twice but that's all x

It was so hard! I dreaded my DS crying to feed, cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush... but we kept at it and I ended up feeding him till he was 2.5 and I loved it.

Made life so much easier, gave us such a special bond. Once those first hard months were out of the way my boobs became magic tools that could solve most problems, hungry, tired, upset, bored, hurt.

I would do it again in a heartbeat.

If you go into it with realistic expectations then it can work.

I think people just like to tell you horror stories! I was also worried - spent so much time reading horror stories online that I convinced myself it'd be awful and so difficult. I even bought those premade little bottles of formula to take with me, which are still unopened (my DD is now 7.5 months).
We actually had no trouble at all really. She knew what she wanted, and once I stopped getting in her way we were totally fine!
This video is really good, and the lady narrating has a lovely calming tone! globalhealthmedia.org/portfolio-items/breastfeeding-attachment/
At the start it was a little difficult just because of how often she wanted to feed (basically all the time), but after a couple of weeks it was super easy. Those mothers that you see in cafes etc making it look easy have probbaly been doing it a couple of months! the FTM of newborns are at home just feeding 24/7!

I loved breastfeeding all three of my babies - fed dd1 and ds1 to around 13 months each, still going with dd2 (9 months). Things that really help...

1; find some actual real life women in your life - ones you like - who made it to established breastfeeding (couple of months ebf, at least) and tell them you want them to be your advocate and supporter. Doesn't matter if they're old or young - they just need to have done it themselves, and be on your side and ready to support you

2: TELL your partner you want to breastfeed and it matters to you and they need to be your breastfeeding cheerleader. You need praise, emotional support, hugs, cheers, and cake. They need to be ready to give you all these things every day. They need to know NOT to say, ' god this is hard, why don't we just give them a bottle?'. That's not helping. Telling you you're bloody amazing and they value and love you SO MUCH for doing this amazing thing for their baby (whilst passing tea and cake, and the going off to do the washing up) is helping. If you want to go over to FF, or combination feeding, when you're ready you will say so. They say NOTHING other than 'you're doing so well, i support and love you' and 'do you want some more cake?'.

3; buy breastfeeding day and night bras. Buy breastfeeding friendly clothing. Buy supporting firm pillows for your bed. Buy a nursing rocking chair. Buy lanolin nipple cream. Buy cake. Buy a doughnut pillow thingy. Treat it like you're going to war. Preparedness is everything. Do not stint. You need this shit.

4: know that (for many people) days 1-4 are ok. Days 5-8 are HORRENDOUS (nipples killing, back hurting, all lovely oxytocin's gone, you're so so knackered). Day 7 is THE WORST. After that, you're over the hump.
Days 9-21 ish slowing slowing improving. Days 21-45ish getting easier all the time. Days 45 til whenever, lovely happy 'i am a floaty earth mother' breastfeeding easy days.

At least, that's how it was for me.
Hope this helps. Hope it works for you. If it doesn't, you're still a brilliant mum with a fed, loved baby x

I had a difficult first 3 weeks as DD struggled to latch, but after 3 weeks she "got it" and it was plain sailing after that. BF until she was 2, never had sore or bleeding nipples (used lanolin from the beginning) or mastitis.
Bookmark the kellymom website (in fact i would start reading it whilst pregnant to learn a bit about BFing, the more knowledgeable you are about things like growth spurts the easier it will be) and find the details of your local peer supporter group in advance so you can get help asap if you need it.

@Somuchgoo I agree that that is certainly a very unusual tale of self-sabotage

I breastfed both of mine for a combined total of about 5.5 years and loved it. It was such an amazing bond and so convenient.

My first was sleepy in his first three days and I had to hand express and top up with syringes and small formula feeds, but after that we cracked it and he was away. My second latched on like a little barracuda in the delivery room and fed like a champ from the start. I was a bit sore a few times, but never in agony. Never had mastitis either - a few blocked ducts if I was away from them. And I could just lie down with them, feed, and sleep. I didn't even have to open my eyes for night feeds after the first week or so. Plus breastfeeding kept my 1yo out of hospital after he got a terrible stomach bug - without bf he would probably have had to be admitted and go on a drip.

I was lucky and both DSs fed without an issue until they were about 2. Even the first few days were fine. They were both very efficient feeders (again, pure luck) which meant they weren’t attached to me for hours at a time except for cluster feeds and I could feed them faster than most friends could give a bottle so my nipples recovered each time. Only discomfort was when I missed a feed or bought cheap breast pads.

One word answer ;Oxytocin :) Breastfeeding gives you rush of hormones that make you feel instantly happy, peaceful, and sleepy, I found the first 2 days painful until my milk came in, then I just had a few seconds of letdown pain each feed for 3 weeks, then it was just great.. When they get out of the tiny fragile newborn phase you can feed them in your sleep almost.