Any other women grossed out by breastfeeding?

[Nonameslefttochose]

As in subject, I’m wondering if any other women are absolutely grossed out by breastfeeding? I’m very maternal, I love children (mine and everyone else’s!) I value children and family as the most important “things” in life. Yet the idea of breastfeeding makes me cringe. A baby sucking on a breast like some kind of animal :) despite of this I did try with my first son and lasted 4 days. My second baby is due next week and I’m going to try again even for the first few days as of course I know it’s so beneficial etc. I’m just wondering if anyone else out there have similar feelings with regards to BF?

I am not saying people who don’t BF are not well educated (that is actually not my experience, I have lots of very well educated friends who didn’t - although they all tried, none decided not to from the start) but there are many studies that suggest a link between higher educational status and higher breastfeeding rates.

I’m sure the reasons are a combination of many things - and there are always exceptions. I think difficulties in establishing breastfeeding and lack of support is still a huge problem. But in terms of deciding not to breastfeed way before giving birth or even getting pregnant - excepting extreme instances of abuse that perhaps result in these feelings of course - it’s not lack of education, it’s emotional immaturity, or immaturity full stop. Certainly by the sounds of this thread anyway.
The sexual thing is also not something I understand. Breasts are sexy of course - but unless you are lactating and letting your partner suck the milk out of you as a sexual act and getting off on that regularly (not kink shaming anyone here, I hear it’s a thing for some - in which case I could actually understand reservations about breastfeeding a baby as that must be emotionally conflicting) how are you making a connection between breastfeeding and sex? My breasts are sexual, yes - but the part they play during sex is in no way comparable to feeding a baby. Other parts of your body - your mouth for example - is also sexual, but just because you use it for blow jobs doesn’t mean it has no other purpose

@Magicalwoodlands

Because when you share those feelings they are going to cause a stir.

Only toddlers and people with dementia feel the need to share every feeling they have.

A filter between brain and mouth (or brain and keyboard) is a fairly basic skill.

Ahh good old your making me feel awkward for sharing your feelings = your are stupid and opinions aren't valid. It's sad it's always other women doing this particular type of shaming to other women.

And they say it's the men keeping us down 🙄

@Magicalwoodlands

Because when you share those feelings they are going to cause a stir.

Only toddlers and people with dementia feel the need to share every feeling they have.

A filter between brain and mouth (or brain and keyboard) is a fairly basic skill.

This is a forum. Sharing thoughts that you might not be able to express to the people you know is what keeps it running.

Why are people responding so aggressively to the op's personal feelings? Clearly she's not alone in this or more people would bf.

(And yes, bf both of mine for a year etc etc)

you don’t have to read it, you know

It isn’t about having to read it or not. You may as well say that sexism isn’t harmful because women don’t have to read misogynistic views. That would be nonsense. It is the views that are harmful, not the fact they are being read.

The OP has expressed a view which will elicit strong reactions. I have no doubt it is shared by others, but I do think that as I have said, if someone decided to share similar views about bottle feeding it simply wouldn’t be permitted, which sort of takes away the sense of poor victimised formula feeders, doesn’t it?

I can't even describe why I felt like that. All of my family have bf. Most of my friends. Doesn't bother me at all. Literally no issue.

But when I did it ugh it was like I don't know, just horrible. I just felt horrible. Like you do when you've been ill and you immediately need to get on the shower. Nothing else I have experienced yet made me feel like that. Other than the birth.

I haven't had any more children.

I don’t feel awkward in the slightest, @candlelightsatdawn. Why would I

I think it’s tragic that we live in a society where breasts are seen as primarily sexual and elective caesarians ( without medical necessity ) are available because someone doesn’t fancy traditional childbirth. That’s a long way from progress.

I’m very maternal, I love children (mine and everyone else’s!)

A baby sucking on a breast like some kind of animal

We are the complete opposite, I wasn't very maternal, no experience with children when my DS was born, but thinking of him as a little helpless animal that needed my breastmilk to survive felt amazing! It felt so natural (btw not easy though)

But each to their own and if you don't enjoy breastfeeding your next child that's fine! Do what works for you

@Divebar2021

I think it’s tragic that we live in a society where breasts are seen as primarily sexual and elective caesarians ( without medical necessity ) are available because someone doesn’t fancy traditional childbirth. That’s a long way from progress.

Yes, let's take away women's choice and make sure they breastfeed even if it makes them depressed, and force them to give birth "naturally" even if it causes trauma in the name of progression

Fuck me sideways. Choice is not the issue here.

@Rosesareyellow

I am not saying people who don’t BF are not well educated (that is actually not my experience, I have lots of very well educated friends who didn’t - although they all tried, none decided not to from the start) but there are many studies that suggest a link between higher educational status and higher breastfeeding rates.

I’m sure the reasons are a combination of many things - and there are always exceptions. I think difficulties in establishing breastfeeding and lack of support is still a huge problem. But in terms of deciding not to breastfeed way before giving birth or even getting pregnant - excepting extreme instances of abuse that perhaps result in these feelings of course - it’s not lack of education, it’s emotional immaturity, or immaturity full stop. Certainly by the sounds of this thread anyway.
The sexual thing is also not something I understand. Breasts are sexy of course - but unless you are lactating and letting your partner suck the milk out of you as a sexual act and getting off on that regularly (not kink shaming anyone here, I hear it’s a thing for some - in which case I could actually understand reservations about breastfeeding a baby as that must be emotionally conflicting) how are you making a connection between breastfeeding and sex? My breasts are sexual, yes - but the part they play during sex is in no way comparable to feeding a baby. Other parts of your body - your mouth for example - is also sexual, but just because you use it for blow jobs doesn’t mean it has no other purpose

I agree, but men also suck women's breasts when they're not lactating as a sexual act, which could also cause conflict if her nipples are stimulated.

I personally hated the clicking sound when mine fed.

I hated it and my milk never came in properly anyway with DS1. (birth trauma, blood transfusions, and also no-one in my immediate family ever had their milk come in so maybe there is a genetic component?) i recall pumping for over an hour and getting a liteal dribble.

For DS1 i kept at it for 6 weeks. i used to dread him waking and started to shake and tremble at the mere thought of bf again. When i gave up and started with ff I wondered why i ever bothered otherwise.

Ds2 I never even tried. And I never even got swollen breasts or first milk coming in. A slight tenderness that is it. I felt liberated in not even giving the mere concept of bf the time of day tbh.

For those making comments saying how disgusting it is that babies are fed formula that’s come from a ‘cows tits’ if I hadn’t of given either of mine formula they would have died. I have pcos and breast hypoplasia which means I have insufficient glandular tissue in my breasts meaning I cannot provide my own milk to my children.

To those with this opinion, that’s good for you but when you have no choice but to give formula to keep your child/ren alive I'm sure you’d do the same…

There's a lot of anti-formula stuff on here. It's an amazing invention - it saved my baby's life after my milk failed to come in (she was readmitted on day 5 seriously ill with hypernatraemic dehydration) - my milk didn't come in in quantity until 8 weeks. I BF her for years but it's formula that meant my baby thrived and gave me the amazing bonding experience BFing didn't. I am so thankful to be alive now with a safe alternative available to feed my baby because BFing doesn't always work.

@Lweji

TBH, 16 years later the idea of it is weird, but probably because the feeding baby is now a tall teen. But with a small baby it just felt natural. And it was more convenient.

Yeah, I'm feeling that a bit. I've noticed it more before with pregnancy - it was like a switch shortly after my youngest, the idea of getting pregnant again felt weird, almost repulsive. I'm having that now to a lesser extent considering breastfeeding.

There is just this little ick 'no, been there, done that, never again' hide my chest weird feeling when 17 years old when the now foot taller than me lad was a little baby, it was more than fine and I was dealing with a lot of negative kin who called it disgusting and similar & I didn't get it (though I think their distaste was mainly cultural/few around breastfed rather than this as they didn't breastfeed at all).

I wondered of it would feel weird to me when I was pregnant with my first. I had always thought of boobs as rude/sexual and couldn't quite get past that. I grew up in a really prudish family and had never seen anyone breast feed before.

I have to say though, my fears were completely unfounded, it just felt like the most natural thing to me once I tried it (not the actual mechanics of breastfeeding, those were tricky) but the closeness etc. I actually loved breastfeeding (the hormonal rush, it was like a drug for me) and fed both my dd until 2 (much to my families disgust).

I think it's normal to feel a bit ick about the idea if you have been brought up in a culture where boobs are sexualised and bottle feeding is the norm but few people admit to it.

OP didn't say that breast feeders are gross. Just that it made her feel gross. So why all the spiteful insults towards FF and elective c section?
Women having choices over their own bodies is awful isnt it.

@Oswin

OP didn't say that breast feeders are gross. Just that it made her feel gross. So why all the spiteful insults towards FF and elective c section? Women having choices over their own bodies is awful isnt it.

I agree People are sharing how they feel. Feelings aren’t facts that can be right or wrong they just are. I FEEL icky about BF, I just do, no idea why and I appreciate most women don’t feel like that ( or dare admit it anyway).

@Beachbabe1
What a selfish, immature and unintelligent comment!

I don't know if anyone has said similar because the thread is nearly 150 posts long but I absolutely hated breastfeeding and only managed 3 weeks with my first and didn't do it with the rest. I'm autistic though and it really played into my sensory issues and almost consumed me to the point of not being able to take care of baby outside of that feeding moment.

I agree, but men also suck women's breasts when they're not lactating as a sexual act, which could also cause conflict if her nipples are stimulated.

@abcdeg Yes that’s true - I’ve never been particularly that kind of thing, but I’d say now having breastfed I’d be actively turned off by the idea of my partner trying that. That’s interesting to consider. So it makes sense that the opposite applies too - being turned on by it and therefore of course it’s not something you can comfortably associate with feeding a baby.

Yeah much more normal to feed your baby the breast milk of a cow than let it suck your boob 🤔

@HR313

For those making comments saying how disgusting it is that babies are fed formula that’s come from a ‘cows tits’ if I hadn’t of given either of mine formula they would have died. I have pcos and breast hypoplasia which means I have insufficient glandular tissue in my breasts meaning I cannot provide my own milk to my children.

To those with this opinion, that’s good for you but when you have no choice but to give formula to keep your child/ren alive I'm sure you’d do the same…

Of course there's a place for formula but people are just reacting to the childish EWW, breastmilk is from BOOBS, EWWW way the OP put it. By pointing out that formula is also made from breastmilk. In this case, breastmilk designed to fatten up calves, who if male, were slaughtered just after birth. I know which one is more EWWWW to me.

I can understand that. I think that a lot of humans find reminders that we are animals naturally uncomfortable. I didn’t feel like that with breastfeeding, in fact I’ve breastfed both of mine into toddlerhood and enjoyed the primitive, animalistic nature of it. But I did feel totally weirded out by and uncomfortable with the idea of giving birth naturally - in large part due to the animalistic and primitive nature of it! So I had elective C-Sections (sorry, Divebar2021!). We can’t control how we feel a lot of the time about these types of things - as long as we don’t force those feelings on other people.

There's a hormonal type of aversion to breastfeeding. I got it when I was pregnant and still feeding my toddler. I'm quite glad in a way as it pushed me to wean and it was definitely time.

I have always liked the primal part of it. I have always liked animals and newborns do feel quite animal like to me. The way they do start to communicate and bond with you but it's definitely not in your language, you have to learn theirs. Breastfeeding in the newborn period has always felt like tapping into some secret natural instinctive thing to me. Also it's astonishing that there's all this milk for your baby and it's just there and completely free. My mind boggles at the price of formula, I feel very lucky that I've never had to significantly rely on it.

Oh sorry I meant to add the hormone imbalance is meant to be corrected with magnesium if you feel like trying that to see if it helps.