Any other women grossed out by breastfeeding?

[Nonameslefttochose]

As in subject, I’m wondering if any other women are absolutely grossed out by breastfeeding? I’m very maternal, I love children (mine and everyone else’s!) I value children and family as the most important “things” in life. Yet the idea of breastfeeding makes me cringe. A baby sucking on a breast like some kind of animal :) despite of this I did try with my first son and lasted 4 days. My second baby is due next week and I’m going to try again even for the first few days as of course I know it’s so beneficial etc. I’m just wondering if anyone else out there have similar feelings with regards to BF?

They are comparable because eating, breathing and sleeping are necessary for your survival. On a biological and evolutionary level, BFing is necessary for a baby's survival - our bodies don't know there is an alternative. So I stand by saying there must be an external reason why people find it unpleasant, it doesn't make sense otherwise.

I think it's society's fault, not the individual's, and yes of course do the alternative. Absolutely your body your choice.

@lawofdistraction

They are comparable because eating, breathing and sleeping are necessary for your survival. On a biological and evolutionary level, BFing is necessary for a baby's survival - our bodies don't know there is an alternative. So I stand by saying there must be an external reason why people find it unpleasant, it doesn't make sense otherwise.

I think it's society's fault, not the individual's, and yes of course do the alternative. Absolutely your body your choice.

So if it's my body my choice, and therefore nothing to do with you, why do you feel the need to tell me there has to be an external reason? Why do you even care?

Women are biologically programmed to have babies, but I bet you don't tell women who don't want children that there's essentially something wrong with them because it's natural.

@lawofdistraction

Why do you find it gross then? It makes absolutely no sense from a biological point of view that women should find BFing unpleasant. The species wouldn't have lasted very long. There has to be another external reason.

There's no point in talking about biology in isolation when we live in 21st century civilisation. Breasts have a sexual function as well as feeding babies.

Their primary function is for feeding but many people also suck and stimulate their or their partners breasts. It can be confusing and uncomfortable for some people who can't shake seeing breasts as sexual.

This is especially true for women who haven't given birth and for men

They are comparable because eating, breathing and sleeping are necessary for your survival. On a biological and evolutionary level, BFing is necessary for a baby's survival - our bodies don't know there is an alternative. So I stand by saying there must be an external reason why people find it unpleasant, it doesn't make sense otherwise.

There are rare instances where people have serious aversions to other biological processes - but there’s an acknowledgment that that’s an unfortunate thing to feel. For some reason with breastfeeding aversion that’s not so much the case - its minimised, seen as normal and validated as ‘that’s how you feel and it’s fine, you do you…’

its minimised, seen as normal and validated as ‘that’s how you feel and it’s fine, you do you

What would be better? Making new mums feel abnormal and telling them they're wrong to feel that way?

Whats the alternative to "doing you" out of interest? Do we push ahead with breastfeeding and then create a wealth of other problems from that? Is that really a better option?

I'm not sure what can be done really when the idea of breasts being sexual rather than feeding instruments is now so deeply ingrained into our society and our psyche. Is there any way back?

@lawofdistraction

I'm not sure what can be done really when the idea of breasts being sexual rather than feeding instruments is now so deeply ingrained into our society and our psyche. Is there any way back?

Have no idea whether that is why we feel like this. Certainly nothing can be done when assumptions are being made, rather than actually trying to form an understanding.

I think it's pretty bloody obvious that's why people find the idea of BFing unpleasant. Come on.

@lawofdistraction

I think it's pretty bloody obvious that's why people find the idea of BFing unpleasant. Come on.

It's really not at all. That's simply your assumption. Maybe that's the way you feel. It's not how everyone feels.

So tell us why you do feel it then. Why do you find the natural method of keeping your baby alive unpleasant?

@lawofdistraction

So tell us why you do feel it then. Why do you find the natural method of keeping your baby alive unpleasant?

I've already said I can't explain it. I tried it, I didn't like it. I don't know what else you want me to say?

I actually think that comment is actually really goady and nasty, and it very much shows you actually have no concern about new mothers at all as long as they are doing the right thing.

And you know what, we have another way to keep our babies alive, and it's fine, and we should be able to choose that without judgement from people like you.

@lawofdistraction

So tell us why you do feel it then. Why do you find the natural method of keeping your baby alive unpleasant?

I think you’re bordering on being a bit bullying now.

@lawofdistraction

So tell us why you do feel it then. Why do you find the natural method of keeping your baby alive unpleasant?

This is nasty

I'm just trying to understand. Quattro says she can't explain her feelings, but is also adamant that it's got nothing to do with breasts being seen as sexual. If she can't explain her feelings then why not at least be open to the idea that perhaps it is do with breasts being seen as sexual?

There's a huge problem in society as a whole as to how we view breasts and BFing and it would be helpful it that could be acknowledged.

How strange. Did you mother breastfeed you? Have you considered that if she hadn’t and there was no access to modern formula (or a wet nurse but presumably that’s equally as disgusting) then you probably wouldn’t have survived? Not sure how feeding babies with what nature intended is in any way distasteful.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
But it's not an issue with the milk itself. People are happy to jump in this thread to make nasty statements without any kind of understanding as to what op means confused

Why do you think what I said is nasty and why do you think I don’t understand what the OP means? I understand what she is says, but I don’t understand why she feels that way. I stand by my statement that I find it bizarre that some people think it’s preferable to feed their baby the milk of another species than their own. I also find it weird that you are being so defensive and think everyone is attacking you if they have an opposing view.

I would also like to point out for anyone who is confused that not everyone who BFs likes it, or does it for some perverse pleasure or to feel smug and look down on FFers. The vast majority of women who decide to try BFing do so because it is considered best for their baby and as natural as possible. It’s quick, doesn’t require sterilising equipment and is free of charge.

@StellaCinnamon

Yes. I didn’t do it. Gave me the utter heebie jeebies.

Yes same, me too! I pumped for two weeks with my first DS and it made me feel so queezy, I hated it. I managed to pump for 6 weeks with my second DS but there was no way I was going to actually breastfeed either of them. Totally grossed me out

What would be better? Making new mums feel abnormal and telling them they're wrong to feel that way?

I don’t know how to make it better unfortunately anymore than I would know how to help someone who has an aversion to eating or other biological processes. I don’t think it’s about making someone feel bad about it at all - just like you shouldn’t feel bad if you had an aversion of going to the toilet, it’s out of your control. But presumably if you had that issue you’d also realise that it isn’t something you accept as normal. There should be a rational acknowledgment that that’s not how it should be and even a wish to get over it rather than complacency. Not just from the individual but from society as a whole and health professionals - of course no one should be forced to do anything they really don’t want, that would be horrific. Formula feeding is perfectly fine so it’s not necessary. But there should be more talk around it, research and investigation and most importantly professional support.

@lawofdistraction

I'm just trying to understand. Quattro says she can't explain her feelings, but is also adamant that it's got nothing to do with breasts being seen as sexual. If she can't explain her feelings then why not at least be open to the idea that perhaps it is do with breasts being seen as sexual?

There's a huge problem in society as a whole as to how we view breasts and BFing and it would be helpful it that could be acknowledged.

No, you're not. You're trying to tell us why we feel this way. There is nothing understanding about your post.

The reason I don't think it has anything to do with breasts being sexualised is because I don't personally see it that way? I don't have an issue with anyone else doing it, i just don't like the way it makes me feel. I don't feel like urgh this is weird because my breasts are sexual it just makes me feel gross, in the same way I feel when I am ill. Not gross like Ew this is sexual. Yes, I am sure many people's dislike may well stem from that but I personally think it unlikely that mine does.

Considering you don't know me it's quite strange that you feel you know better.

@Rosesareyellow

What would be better? Making new mums feel abnormal and telling them they're wrong to feel that way?

I don’t know how to make it better unfortunately anymore than I would know how to help someone who has an aversion to eating or other biological processes. I don’t think it’s about making someone feel bad about it at all - just like you shouldn’t feel bad if you had an aversion of going to the toilet, it’s out of your control. But presumably if you had that issue you’d also realise that it isn’t something you accept as normal. There should be a rational acknowledgment that that’s not how it should be and even a wish to get over it rather than complacency. Not just from the individual but from society as a whole and health professionals - of course no one should be forced to do anything they really don’t want, that would be horrific. Formula feeding is perfectly fine so it’s not necessary. But there should be more talk around it, research and investigation and most importantly professional support.

But the difference is that you have to go to the toilet, there's no other choice. You don't have to breastfeed.

Nope

quattro know better than what? You say that you don't know yourself. If you said that your aversion was due to a physical or emotional reason I would completely accept that. But when somebody doesn't know why this natural process is giving them the ick, I think by far the most likely explanation is sexualisation. As for sitting there consciously thinking I don't like this because breasts are sexual, well, no. That won't necessarily happen. It's been internalised.

I had absolutely no wish to BF, I just wish midwifes & nurses in the hospital would accept the word no when asking you if you are going to BF instead of banging on about it all the time & refusing to accept that some women don't want to.

@lawofdistraction

quattro know better than what? You say that you don't know yourself. If you said that your aversion was due to a physical or emotional reason I would completely accept that. But when somebody doesn't know why this natural process is giving them the ick, I think by far the most likely explanation is sexualisation. As for sitting there consciously thinking I don't like this because breasts are sexual, well, no. That won't necessarily happen. It's been internalised.

Oh honestly, just stop. You have no idea the cause, stop telling me you do. It's literally none of your business what anyone does or doesn't do with their body.

I really think people like you just exacerbate the problem.

If I wanted to solve this problem, and had come in this thread and seen your comments I'd be so much more reluctant to discuss it with anyone now because of judgement like yours.

Your attitude is what makes people think nah fuck it, I don't want to talk about my struggle or try and solve it, I want to escape it, formula feed and never go into it again.