Drank 4 units of alcohol before my BFP. Distraught - need perspective

[Lagirl20]

Hi all, sorry for a depressing post. My period was due on Friday. I had what I now suspect was a very light implantation bleed. I mistook this for the start of my period and that evening I drank two glasses of red wine - approx. 4 units. I am beside myself with guilt and upset. I’ve wanted this for over two years and now I feel like I’ve messed it up completely. I’m veering between trying not to worry - it’s not like I’ve been drinking bottles of wine, it was only two glasses and a complete once-off (I’ve stopped now), but I’ve also read studies saying even a small amount of alcohol can negatively affect the pregnancy. Apparently the day I drank - around day 17 - is crucial to very significant development. I’ve read lots of threads where people say not to worry, as the embryo doesn’t share a blood supply with the mother until later on when the placenta develops, but I’ve researched and this is simply not true. Alcohol can pass through the yolk sac. I’m devastated this has happened. It was so preventable and stupid. This baby is so wanted and my first, and now I may have damaged it! Please be kind.

The month I fell pregnant with DD was my booziest in a long time...my hen do, night out with friends, wedding! DD is totally fine.

@Lagirl20 The placenta has not taken over yet, you don't share a blood supply with the baby. The baby is a bunch of cells that multiply on he wall of your uterus. You will be fine and so will your baby. STOP OBSESSING!

Step,away from google. You aren’t researching anything other than a confirmation bias that your anxiety is causing

There is nothing you can do about it so stop!

As said above, advise reading 'Expecting better' for scientific research based advice on pregnancy. I am not sure where you have been 'researching' but there is a lot of misinformation on the internet. Plus public health messaging tends to be extremely cautious - easier to advise abstinence than hope people can accurately measure a unit. Congratulations and good luck with your pregnancy.

Me and DH shared a bottle of wine and a load of cured meats the night before my BFP as I was convinced AF was about to arrive. Currently feeding my healthy 3 month old!
Stop looking at Google. Such a small amount will not have affected your pregnancy in any way. And for FASD to be caused you generally have to regularly drink throughout your pregnancy.
Try not to obsess over this or you’re going to have a very long, stressful 9 months!

You sound very anxious OP, like others, I drank 'normally' (for me - which is probably 'heavy' by Mumsnet standards) for the first ten weeks of my pregnancy - I was not 'trying' to get pregnant and at 42 assumed the lack of periods was the start of the menopause... no issues at all and to be honest I never thought anything of it. My DMIL (a midwife ) was happily drinking throughout her pregnancies in the 1960s. Four healthy children.

I was told I wasn't ovulating and was about to start drugs to kickstart it. I had no reason to doubt the specialist after a scan and two ovulator predictor kits having failed to find the magic moment. I drank drank two glasses of alcohol the day before I found out I had "miraculously" conceived. I was concerned. All the sites I could find seemed to be aimed at problem drinkers who were pregnant and were extolling the women to stop drinking now. From what I could see about foetal development it seemed that we didn't yet share a blood supply. The baby was fine - no sign of any alcohol damage and he's 20 now. Obviously, like you, if I'd known there was a chance I was pregnant I wouldn't have drunk alcohol but like me you've just got to put this to the back of your mind and carry on. The chances of something being wrong through this must be incredibly tiny because so many women will have done it.

I didn’t know I was pregnant for 6 months. I did 20 shots one day whilst not realising I was pregnant. (was young and was ill after!)That baby is now at Uni… it’s not advisable to drink but it will be ok! Please don’t beat yourself up about it.

I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 10weeks as I was on the pill. During the time I was out partying every night, making the most of £1 shots. When I found out I was convinced I'd damaged the baby and obviously stopped drinking straight away but she was fine and has just started college.

Another one to say I drank way too much a few times not knowing I was pregnant. I didn’t get a BFP until I was 5 weeks I think and had been to a wedding and a big night out as well as a few drinks at home. That child is now a teen and looking to do well in exams, has a group of decent friends, is kind to humans and animals etc etc etc.

I got absolutely hammered the night before my BFP with DD1. Was at a dinner party and after 3-4 glasses of wine, started to feel weirdly sick (still carried on drinking) and I did not want the cheese board on offer and the after dinner coffee smell made me feel sick so the next day I did a test about 2 days before AF due. My 3.5 year old is the picture of health. Born overdue at 8lb.
My best friend didn't know she was pregnant until 8 weeks (changing pill and periods messed up) and had drunk and taken drugs over Christmas and new year. When she found out she was pregnant we all went to the pub and got hammered as she was sure she was going to terminate (new relationship & never wanted kids) but then she heard the heartbeat at the scan and couldn't go through with it. She drunk wine everyday of that pregnancy up until 8 weeks. Her DC is developmentally much more advanced than their age. They're very clever and physically bigger than most of their peers.

Dd2 was unplanned and I didn't find out I was pregnant til about 10 weeks. I was on an extended holiday visiting family and friends where I had the odd night out plus a week in a house with hot tubs that I baked in frequently, wine every night, Brie etc. Thankfully I was feeling a bit groggy so drank less than usual but still at least 2 glasses a night during the hot tub break. Now obviously I can't know if she'd have been different if I hadn't done that but she's 8 now and pretty amazing. As a PP said it's done now and stress is bad for a baby, far more I imagine than 2 glasses of wine once so it's important to put it to bed. It's vanishingly unlikely any harm will have been caused but even if it has you'll never know. The baby certainly isn't going to display signs of FAS from that.

I went to a gig and got leathered the night before my BFP. Not sure what you're looking for with this thread but try and relax.

@ThreeLocusts

PS an Italian friend tells me that a glass of red wine a day used to be almost recommended for pregnant women in Italy - there's an assumption (no idea if correct) that it helps prevent anaemia. Maybe just a superstitious conclusion derived from the colour.

As it did in the UK. Except it was a bottle of milk stout in my mum's day!

I drank an entire long island ice tea at 6 weeks (didn't find out til I was 7 weeks). Told the midwife and doctor and they both said it was fine. a one off is gonna do no harm at that stage and they are only concerned if it's consistent, high volume drinking,.

FYI just had my 20 week scan and baby is all good

@Lagirl20

I never realised how dangerous it was until I researched it, once I got my BFP. I would never have drank if I’d known.

I really do recommend reading Emily Oster's "Expecting Better" book. Emily Oster is an economics professor who has done extensive research into the myriad of studies available on issues in pregnancy. A lot of the studies available on the internet are bad science and just serve to terrify needlessly. EO goes through several examples of these & explains why the results are not reliable and focuses on the research which is scientifically robust. I found her book hugely reassuring on issues like this. Best of luck to you for the rest of your pregnancy! Xx