Drank 4 units of alcohol before my BFP. Distraught - need perspective

[Lagirl20]

Hi all, sorry for a depressing post. My period was due on Friday. I had what I now suspect was a very light implantation bleed. I mistook this for the start of my period and that evening I drank two glasses of red wine - approx. 4 units. I am beside myself with guilt and upset. I’ve wanted this for over two years and now I feel like I’ve messed it up completely. I’m veering between trying not to worry - it’s not like I’ve been drinking bottles of wine, it was only two glasses and a complete once-off (I’ve stopped now), but I’ve also read studies saying even a small amount of alcohol can negatively affect the pregnancy. Apparently the day I drank - around day 17 - is crucial to very significant development. I’ve read lots of threads where people say not to worry, as the embryo doesn’t share a blood supply with the mother until later on when the placenta develops, but I’ve researched and this is simply not true. Alcohol can pass through the yolk sac. I’m devastated this has happened. It was so preventable and stupid. This baby is so wanted and my first, and now I may have damaged it! Please be kind.

Honestly, you'll be absolutely fine. 2 glasses isn't much at all.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

What would you like from this thread? Examples of others who drank and it was fine? Shall we tell you to get a grip? 4 units is barely anything and as long as you stop now it will be fine. You seem incredibly anxious and perhaps you're latching onto this in lieu of tackling something else?

Hi OP, don't worry, I had my birthday night out (with a LOT of alcohol involved!) a few days before my BFP.
I now have healthy, 16 month old twins

Easier said than done but please don't worry! 2 glasses of wine is really nothing to worry about congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy!

You’re stressing unnecessarily. 4 units will not have caused any damage. I had a few glasses of wine the week I tested and I know countless people who have had shots etc before they found out. Honestly, just stop googling & stop over-researching otherwise you’re going to have a very longggggg and unhappy pregnancy. Huge congratulations, you and baby will be fine x

I got completely and utterly drunk the day before I found out at 6 weeks. Said child is now very health and happy 10 year old!

Honestly, you and the baby will be absolutely fine. It's hard not to worry when you've been waiting for this day for so long but the baby is protected by a yolk sac at this stage and 4 units really isn't much at all. Hooe everything goes well for you

I had a three week rosé filled holiday and then realised I was pregnant. Midwife said it would be fine.
I now have a hearty and hale 18 month old.
Try not to worry.

2 glasses of wine is absolutely fine. Honestly fine!

Well worth reading Emily Oster's book "expecting better". It gives all the research behind what you can and can't consume in pregnancy.
2 glasses of wine at this stage is a non-issue, honestly.

Congrats on your pregnancy 😊

You'll be fine. I had 2 nights out and drank quite a few wines on these nights out. Found out I was pregnant day after one of these nights out (nearly 6 weeks).
Ironically we had been trying for almost 2 years so cut out most alcohol, typical the month we don't try and I drink, we fell. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy ☺️

@rattlemehearties

What would you like from this thread? Examples of others who drank and it was fine? Shall we tell you to get a grip? 4 units is barely anything and as long as you stop now it will be fine. You seem incredibly anxious and perhaps you're latching onto this in lieu of tackling something else?

Jeez. This is a bit harsh!

You'll be absolutely fine OP. Try not to worry.

@rattlemehearties

What would you like from this thread? Examples of others who drank and it was fine? Shall we tell you to get a grip? 4 units is barely anything and as long as you stop now it will be fine. You seem incredibly anxious and perhaps you're latching onto this in lieu of tackling something else?

Thank you. I’m not sure what I’m looking for on this thread. I’m just so upset. I know there are so many stories of women who drank and their babies were fine, but there are countless studies saying any amount of alcohol, especially at the beginning, is dangerous. They’ve terrified me. I feel so stupid.

Look, I am very much on the side of no alcohol throughout pregnancy and didn't have any after BFP, but not even I would be bothered about two glasses of wine literally days after implantation! It will do nothing. There are babies being born in war zones –two glasses of wine when you were barely pregnant is not even worth giving headspace to.

I never realised how dangerous it was until I researched it, once I got my BFP. I would never have drank if I’d known.

I went to a festival a few days before my BFP. I partied non-stop for three days. DS is absolutely fine.

There are a great deal of women who wouldn’t have even realised they were pregnant that early. I can understand how you might be concerned, but being “distraught” and thinking you’ve “messed everything up” isn’t really a proportionate response. It’s going to be a long nine months if you are this worked up already. Is there something else going on?

I drank copious amounts of alcohol on holiday, plus had a lot of anaesthesia at the dentist in the week prior to my BFP. DD is now a healthy 16 yr old.
Please stop worrying. Women put their unborn child at far greater risk through other risky actions than drinking 4 units of alcohol.

Stop googling, and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations by the way!

Honestly don't worry. It's very hard to do an accurate study of how much alcohol impacts baby development. There's just no ethical way to really experiment it.

If it helps. I got totally drunk half way through my TWW with my son. No idea I was pregnant and after 2+ years of trying had no reason to think it would actually happen then.

You abs baby will be fine.

What research have you found? As far as I am aware, there is no research that proves that such a tiny amount of alcohol so early does any damage, only that a small amount of alcohol can cause some cell changes (but they don't even know what that means).

It does sound like you're very anxious - please keep an eye on it. Antenatal anxiety can be awful and consuming, and I'm worried that you'll fixate on this, and then it'll be something else, like something you've eaten, or a product you've used, etc. and it spirals. I've seen this happen to someone I love and it was an awful time for them and they didn't enjoy their pregnancy at all. It was exhausting.

Ok, OP, please don't worry and try not to read too much into the studies. We had trouble conceiving our first child, so were practically on the road to IVF. The weekend before I found out I was pregnant - two of my close friends announced that they were expecting and another two had birthday parties, where I literally drowned my sorrows to the extent of not remembering much of the weekend ( and I am not a big drinker normally at all).

Our daughter is absolutely fine - full term baby, good weight, no side effects.

This is of course anecdotal, but I am sure there are plenty of stories like mine and we don't hear about lots of children being affected.

So, just try to relax, take it easy, look after yourself and congratulations!

Honestly OP, if drinking two glasses of wine a few days after implantation was so dangerous, the whole country would be in shambles.

Firstly, congratulations! Hopefully both of my experiences of finding out I was pregnant will reassure you OP 😊

DC1- I was on honeymoon and although we had been ttc I've always had irregular periods and had tested twice and got BFN both times, so I spent the entire honeymoon either drunk, in a hot tub /sauna /ice pool / natural spring. Got BFP on our last day of honeymoon as I realised my period still hadn't arrived. DS absolutely fine!

DC2- we'd been ttc for nearly a year. I'd had the shittest day at work imaginable so came home, poured myself a G&T that was frankly about 50% G, drank that in a very hot bath. Got out and suddenly realised my period was probably due round about then, went and peed on a stick and got the fastest and clearest BFP I've ever had! 🤦🏻‍♀️ DD also absolutely fine!

Discounting teetotallers, I think there’s a good chance it’d be rarer to find someone who hadn’t had a drink before they realised they were pregnant. I am the world’s biggest worrier and even I wouldn’t worry about this. Congratulations! Xx

Thanks all. I so appreciate your replies and the perspectives you’re giving me.

I’m not actually sure if the bleed was implantation - I’m now measuring on clear blue as 2-3 weeks. Meaning I drank at the end of the second week/start of the third.

As few hundred years ago everyone drank beer every day because water was too dirty, they still managed to produce offspring. Obvs not suggesting you should carry on drinking, but may help put things in perspective.

I'm not advising this but I started a new job waitressing and my colleague was always whining her back/feet hurt
She was caning alcohol and drugs and went to the doctors about her back
They explained it was the baby sitting in an awkward way, as she said "what bloody baby"
She was 36 weeks pregnant. Baby fine