Baby's room V sleeping together

[cat709]

Hi ladies

I'm posting it in the 'pregnancy' section as hoping to hear from second time mums or mums pregnant with 2nd where they might do things differently.

My baby is 5 months. She is ready to go into her own room in terms of size/sleeping full night etc. But when you google it, every site says wait at the very least 6 months. But any experienced mum I talk to put their baby in their own room way earlier - some a couple months.

She sleeps in my room for 5 hours before I even go up for the night. We have a video cam and breathing monitor. So she spends half the time away from me anyway.

Just don't know what to do. Have any mums done it way earlier and not let their anxiety take over?

Cat x

I waited until at least 6 months as it helps prevent SIDs. Think ds was 8 months when we moved him

DS moved at just before six months as he didn’t fit in the sidecar crib and his cot wouldn’t fit in our room. Same as you though we used the monitor for 4-5 hours in the evening before going to bed, probably from about four months.

It’s safer for them to be in the room with you, though.

I did it at 5 months, and she slept better for it.

It might raise the risk slightly, but I took the view that our risk was minute (breastfeeding, non-smoking, good weight ect), so the increase here was worth it to help me be less dangerously tired.

Just give it another 4 weeks, it will soon fly by.

If you are already letting her sleep apart for 5hrs there’s already a SIDS risk so it’s not going to make any difference.
DD slept with me until 15 months as I was in no rush. She didn’t nap without me until 9 months. But you have to do what you feel is right. The risks are small but I had someone close to me lose a child to SIDS so my perception is different.

I'm interested to know if you and the other mums breast fed or bottle fed.

No judgment, but my babies are breastfed and they only sleep with me. There is no way I could put them to bed and then leave. Dd was 9 months when she went in her own room, and she ds is 8 months and still glued to me.

We waited til 6 months more on the if the worst happened I didn't know how I would have coped knowing I didn't take every piece of advice. I'm a very nervous person!

@BounceyBumblebee

I'm interested to know if you and the other mums breast fed or bottle fed.

No judgment, but my babies are breastfed and they only sleep with me. There is no way I could put them to bed and then leave. Dd was 9 months when she went in her own room, and she ds is 8 months and still glued to me.

Both my babies were EBF and both were in their own room by 4 months. Both were very light (and noisy) sleepers and I just couldn't take it any more. We both slept better apart. I coslept with both for the first three months but after that they could settle in basket or cot for the evening and between feeds.

FTM and my girl was too big for the next2me at 5.5 months so she went in to her nursery then. She was really too big at 5 months but I wasn't prepared to cross that "milestone" so had 2 more weeks next to her before we made the transition, not due to anxiety though.

I actually found I slept worse for a while as I no longer had the luxury of just rolling over to put her dummy in to resettle her (obv once night feeds had finished) and have to get out of bed and traipse across the landing, but now at 8 months she sleeps 12 hours through mostly....it's just me who still wakes to check the monitor and sometimes go in to check she's breathing when she's not changed position since I last checked!!

No. I followed the SIDS advice including for naps.

Thankfully we have enough room for a cot-bed in our room, it is a squeeze. I always keep them close when they are under a year, we have a travel cot in the living room too.

Daughter was about 3 months when Moses basket became too snug and she was sleeping through the night, we had a baby monitor on always and she slept better for it. (This was 9 years ago)

Son was nearly 4 months, and had every intention of going to 6 months but found that my partner tossing and turning in the night was waking him. Again, have baby monitor on him always and follow safe sleep recommendations like no blankets or bumpers etc. He’s 5 months now and will sometimes sleep through the night unless he’s under the weather with his teeth, in which case I sometimes transfer him into the space saver cot we keep next to our bed to keep a closer eye on him.

I’ve always wondered about the advice being 6 months really. Surely if baby is sleeping through the night, it makes no difference if you are in the same room or not as you will assumedly be asleep also until you are woken by their grumbles or crying (whether that is because they are next to you or via baby monitor).

@thunderandsunshine01

Daughter was about 3 months when Moses basket became too snug and she was sleeping through the night, we had a baby monitor on always and she slept better for it. (This was 9 years ago)

Son was nearly 4 months, and had every intention of going to 6 months but found that my partner tossing and turning in the night was waking him. Again, have baby monitor on him always and follow safe sleep recommendations like no blankets or bumpers etc. He’s 5 months now and will sometimes sleep through the night unless he’s under the weather with his teeth, in which case I sometimes transfer him into the space saver cot we keep next to our bed to keep a closer eye on him.

I’ve always wondered about the advice being 6 months really. Surely if baby is sleeping through the night, it makes no difference if you are in the same room or not as you will assumedly be asleep also until you are woken by their grumbles or crying (whether that is because they are next to you or via baby monitor).

Babies don’t always regulate their breathing properly, they need an adult breathing in the same room - awake or asleep. It’s why a monitor doesn’t help. It’s not fully understood why, but it’s possible that they sometimes sleep too deeply. It’s actually healthier for them to wake frequently than to sleep through when tiny.

I’m due very soon and I was planning to move him into his own room around 5 months. I have a breathing monitor and camera with sound. Can I ask what you did before 5 months? Did you literally never leave your baby unattended or did you occasionally go into another room and leave the camera on? I want to get into a routine of putting him to bed at 7/half 7 when I go for a bath and my husband can watch tv downstairs (obviously won’t be doing this from the first week and he’ll have all the monitors on). Then he’ll get the routine of: it get darks at this time so it’s nearly time for a long sleep. Otherwise he’d have to sleep in the living room with the tv on until his last feed at half 10/11 😕 The books all say different!

I don't know about the books, but safety advice from the NHS hasn't changed has it? Which is that babies are safest being with you (or someone else!) for all sleeps until at least 6 months. Which would include going to sleep in the same room as you in the evening. We would use a carrycot in the living room and the at some point when he woke to feed transfer into the bedroom crib. I would go to the loo/have a shower/make a cup of tea and leave him so I wasn't there 100%, but that's a small proportion of the amount of time he spent asleep.

We moved bottle fed DS at 14 months. UK guidelines were 6 months but US ones are a year. It wasn't a massive inconvenience so we decided to err on the side of caution.

We didn't move DD to her own room til she was 16 months but just because it was what suited us all. I definitely wouldn't have moved her pre-6 months though and we didn't put her upstairs to bed without us at all before then either. If anything had gone wrong SIDs wise heaven forbid and we hadn't have followed the guidelines - well I knew I couldn't cope with that, so we did follow them.

@sarah13xx

I’m due very soon and I was planning to move him into his own room around 5 months. I have a breathing monitor and camera with sound. Can I ask what you did before 5 months? Did you literally never leave your baby unattended or did you occasionally go into another room and leave the camera on? I want to get into a routine of putting him to bed at 7/half 7 when I go for a bath and my husband can watch tv downstairs (obviously won’t be doing this from the first week and he’ll have all the monitors on). Then he’ll get the routine of: it get darks at this time so it’s nearly time for a long sleep. Otherwise he’d have to sleep in the living room with the tv on until his last feed at half 10/11 😕 The books all say different!

Why would you plan for 5 months and not 6? That’s bonkers! And unsafe. Before 6 months minimum baby should always sleep with someone, dah and night. It is very normal for them to sleep downstairs in the evening. You can pop to the loo or to get a drink etc but otherwise always with someone. Monitors aren’t a SIDS preventative. I doubt you’ll be getting a bath at that time if night to start with though- that time in the evening, (5pm until 10ish in my experience) is an absolute bitch with newborns. They call it the witching hour but it’s way longer than an hour!

I waited until 6 months with both of my DS and they also didn’t sleep alone until then either. I just didn’t want to take the risk for a few short months

@sarah13xx

I’m due very soon and I was planning to move him into his own room around 5 months. I have a breathing monitor and camera with sound. Can I ask what you did before 5 months? Did you literally never leave your baby unattended or did you occasionally go into another room and leave the camera on? I want to get into a routine of putting him to bed at 7/half 7 when I go for a bath and my husband can watch tv downstairs (obviously won’t be doing this from the first week and he’ll have all the monitors on). Then he’ll get the routine of: it get darks at this time so it’s nearly time for a long sleep. Otherwise he’d have to sleep in the living room with the tv on until his last feed at half 10/11 😕 The books all say different!

I never left my baby unattended - only sometimes for a few minutes to pee or get a drink/snack - I live in small place so would still hear him. I never used any monitor or camera. You can watch TV with the baby there if it doesn't disturb him. Babies take over your life....don't assume that things will be like before. And all babies are different so don't do what the books say.

I waited a year with mine.

I actually slept in DS's room for the first 4 months of his life - once he was only waking up once for a feed I moved out. It meant we didn't have a big sleep battle at 6 months because he'd always slept in his cot. My mum friends who'd had the baby in a next to me type thing in their rooms all had massive sleep regressions when they moved the baby into their own room.
DH runs his own business and I was on SMP so I decided he needed to get a decent sleep so he could support us.

I planned to do it until 6 months as guidelines recommend to reduce risk of SIDS, but when it came to 6 months I didn't want to move her into her room because I was used to having her with me. She's now 10 months, still haven't moved her and don't plan to anytime soon. She sleeps through the night from 9pm till 7am, we're happy and comfortable so I dont see a reason to change it at the moment.

My kids slept in their own rooms from first day. There wasn't this six months recommendation then.
As you say she already is sleeping half the night on her own. I always wondered if the advocates of this six months thing just sit there staring at their baby from 7pm?
It's a recommendation, not a law. If you think she is ready, move her.

There's no point doing it earlier if it causes you anxiety.