41 weeks and losing hope

[kingfisher657]

Despite having period-like pain nearly every day since 38+4, I am now 41 weeks and still not in labour. Induction tentatively booked for 41+4 or else 41+5. This is my decision - I know I don't have to have an induction, but I think that is the right timing for me. And yet I feel such a sense of dread, and failure, and pressure to go into labour spontaneously before then. I have never missed a deadline in my life and every day it ticks closer. After 2 and a half weeks of false starts, I simply don't believe it will happen in time.

I've decided to try and be optimistic until the last possible moment. Does anyone have positive stories of going into labour during this time frame?

I was feeling same as you!
The evening of 41 weeks my contractions started 11pm and baby was born 02:26am 41+1 !

Don't give up hope

41 weeks I posted on Facebook wondering where the baby was. 10 hours later I went into labour! I went for a speed walk, think that helped!

I was overdue with both mine and in both cases labour started after I had had a good cry at the frustration of nothing happening. Might be worth a try.

Not advising you to do this .....
But
I decided to harvest colostrum with an electric breast pump 😂 40 + 3 and my waters went 3 minutes later
✅

@Buddywoo Oh I have In fact 2 nights ago after a massive cry to DH which ended with me saying "I'm too fragile to be a mother and too weak to give birth" (yes my mental health is in a dark place right now...) I went to the toilet and discovered I'd had my show. I don't think anything has really progressed since then though...

Thanks for the positive stories, they are helping!!

@kingfisher657 I hear you! Also 41 weeks today and had lots of signs over the last few weeks that things are happening but so far I'm still not in labour! Like you I've had cramps, lots of tightenings, I've even lost my mucus plug (lovely!) and I keep thinking this is it but nope it all fizzles to nothing. I've had two sweeps and the midwife was confident this baby would arrive before Monday as everything is heading in the right direction but like you I'm
not feeling optimistic anymore 😒

My induction is also booked for Monday if nothing happens before then. I just have a feeling this baby is going to be forcibly evicted. So I'd also like to hear any positive stories!

I have 4DCs was induced with all them even when I went 17 days overdue.

If you waited until 43/44 weeks you would go into Labour (your body is doing far more than mine ever did) but you know the risks so are being sensible!

Induced Labour when overdue often goes well. I had ARM with 2 but no drip, no assisted delivery etc etc.

[quote kingfisher657]@Buddywoo Oh I have In fact 2 nights ago after a massive cry to DH which ended with me saying "I'm too fragile to be a mother and too weak to give birth" (yes my mental health is in a dark place right now...) I went to the toilet and discovered I'd had my show. I don't think anything has really progressed since then though...

Thanks for the positive stories, they are helping!![/quote]
Keep the faith!
I was induced with both my girls with pre eclampsia at 38 weeks. With my last baby I chose a home birth and was desperate to get past the 38 week mark. I got to 39 then 40 and felt like I was never going to give birth! I had had labour type pains on and off for weeks before. I was left on my tiptoes sometimes and felt like the baby was so low it should just drop out!
One night I was playing on the floor with the dog and felt something happen. I had my first ever show! I was doubtful anything much would happen as I'd felt like I was on my way for weeks. I went to bed and at some point in the early hours I felt it all start. By 6am I was blowing up the pool! The baby was born later that afternoon and it was quicker than either of my inductions because my body was just ready. Huge love. You've got this

This really helped me towards the end. www.mothering.com/threads/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between.1619798/

My show appeared a couple of days before labour started.
Have you been offered a stretch and sweep? At least then you’ll know if you are dilated at all.
With my second it was sex that got things going. I really wasn’t in the mood but it did the trick.
You can ask for a cs if you want. If your cervix is unfavourable that might be a good option. If you’ve already dilated a bit and they can break your waters you’ll get going fairly quick. My waters when with my first during a stretch and sweep, labour started with half an hour unfortunately it ended as a cs as he was too big.

On my second baby I had mild contractions for a week before finally going in to Labour at 41+6 when I was booked for induction that night. It was a smooth, lovely and quick Labour lasting 2.5hrs and really not even a thought of pain relief. I think my body had done all the work in the slow build up so she just wheeched out when she was eventually ready. I’m sure it’ll be like that for you!

I gave birth at 41+4, 12 hours before my scheduled induction... admittedly it took 3 sweeps, but it happened!

Aww thank you everyone for the lovely messages! They are keeping me going!

I had a sweep at 40+4 - well sort of - the midwife couldn't reach the membranes as my cervix was open at the bottom (1 cm) but closed at the top. So she just swept inside the cervix which apparently still does something. And I think that's what triggered my show about 24h later. I have another sweep tomorrow and am hoping the show means my cervix is now open at the top and she can do a proper sweep. Feel like it's my last hope really...

I definitely isn't. You have control here. Those last few days are tough. Your body is ticking away doing what it needs to do. Stepping stones to the big event.

I told my midwife I was sure there was no baby, there’d been a mistake, it was probably a massive tape worm and I was never going to go into labour, at my 41 week appointment.

Went into labour 12 hours later.

I took my ds1 to my mums to sleep over when I was pregnant with ds2 because I was going into hospital early in the morning to be induced. I went into labout that night and ds2 was born at the exact time I was supposed to arrive at the hospital for the induction.
They didn't even plan an induction for me with the third, she just came herself a week late.
Ds 1 came after a sweep at 12 days overdue, ds2 was 10 days over and dd was 7 days over.
They come when they feel like it, bit you shouldn't feel disappointed if je/she doesn't come on their own. Some of them just don't want to come out 🤣

Just to reassure you if you do have an induction (because all you hear are horror stories!), I was like you and had lost my plug etc etc, but no real labour. Induced via pessary at 40+10 and had baby in my arms 4 hours later, no help with delivery aside from some gas and air. It was an amazing (although fast) birth and I'd be induced again in the same situation. Enjoy your lovely baby when he/she gets here OP and good luck with delivery!

Oh and I had no signs with the first 2. No signs with the third either, but with the third I had strong braxton hicks from around 23 weeks. When I first went into labout I couldn't decide if it was labout oflr just bad braxton hicks.

Thank you everyone!! These are absolutely lovely, keep them coming!! I have been in such a dark place the last few days and this gives me hope.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I've been having loads of Braxton Hicks, especially the last week or so. Over the last day it's starting to feel like the period pains are lining up with the tightenings, whereas before they were not connected at all. It's so mild though, barely even painful, I don't really believe it's anything real.

And thank you @linerforlife - that gives me hope too - I'm lucky to be at a hospital which offers outpatient inductions for overdue pregnancies, so I can go home for 24h after the first pessary. And if I go into labour from the pessaries alone, I can be in the birth centre which sounds fantastic, pool in every room etc. So if my body responds quickly - fingers crossed - my birth experience should be pretty similar to spontaneous labour.

At the end of 41+5 (so 2 days before planned induction on 42 weeks) I had what can only be described as a meltdown in bed just before going to sleep, crying my heart out to my husband, telling him I had changed my mind and didn't want a baby or to be a mum and I was so scared of childbirth. My waters broke 30 minutes later (I never did get any sleep!), and my wonderful son arrived 19 or so hours later on 41+6, the day before my planned induction.

I thoroughly recommend having a good cry. Just go for it. Something to do with hormones maybe.

@MrsToadlike I will definitely do so when my newfound optimism inevitably fades. I reckon that's what triggered my show...

Just wanted to say that however and whenever your baby is born you have not failed.

I went for a sweep at 41 weeks. The midwife was like “sorry but you’re all closed off still, I doubt it’s made any difference”. I came home and cried buckets.

Had my show two hours later and went into labour the next night.

@Blowingagale thank you. I wish I could fully convince my brain to believe you. I think I've internalised the messaging from NCT, hypnobirthing, Positive Birth Book etc - which all claim to be positive about any kind of birth, but in fact all share a common version of The Best Birth and are quite negative about anything else (particularly induction).