41 weeks and losing hope

[kingfisher657]

Despite having period-like pain nearly every day since 38+4, I am now 41 weeks and still not in labour. Induction tentatively booked for 41+4 or else 41+5. This is my decision - I know I don't have to have an induction, but I think that is the right timing for me. And yet I feel such a sense of dread, and failure, and pressure to go into labour spontaneously before then. I have never missed a deadline in my life and every day it ticks closer. After 2 and a half weeks of false starts, I simply don't believe it will happen in time.

I've decided to try and be optimistic until the last possible moment. Does anyone have positive stories of going into labour during this time frame?

I had my show on the Sunday night and was messing about with braxton hicks until the Wednesday morning the delivered Wednesday night at 41+2. Similar with second one but it only took me 2 days from show to delivery.

Good luck and try not to worry!!

(oh and of course I would not judge anyone else who needed medical intervention in birth - I would just think they were unlucky and hope it wasn't too bad for them! But for some reason my brain insists I am the one exception who should be able to have the Best Birth through force of will alone, and if not it's somehow my fault!)

I gave birth at 41 + 1 with no false starts just an obvious show the night before, I luckily got a good sleep and contractions woke me the next morning. Hope things go well for you I was planning to avoid induction, but it went like clockwork in the end

have a good cry.
a proper, fed up, sick of this shit, I give up and throw my hands in the air like I just don't care anymore tantrum. scream and wail and sob and really mean it.

It relieves so much stress, tension & pressure (both counterproductive to going into labour) your body & mind can get a nice rest.
And that relaxed, I-can-breathe-again feeling does something that I swear starts off labour.

I have a 100% success rate!🤣
With DS3, DS5 & DS6 I had epic meltdowns.
I was 41w +2 with DS5 and I was considered a self-administered C-section, I honestly felt like I was losing my mind...
I went into labour within 12 hours with all 3.

worth a try.
but you can't cheat and pretend. you have to really feel sorry for yourself.

best of luck

3 out of 3 inductions for me , 2 at 41 weeks .
I really know how you are feeling ! so near and yet so far !
I remember so well the feeling that i was never going to start ,it was never going to end ,very frustrating , i remember feeling so very bored of being pregnant too .
Pay no attention to plans for a perfect birth ,not sure they exist .
Soon it will be happening and you will be holding a scrumptious baby in your arms.
Do a few nice things for yourself and rest if you can during this special time.

@kingfisher657

Thank you everyone!! These are absolutely lovely, keep them coming!! I have been in such a dark place the last few days and this gives me hope.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I've been having loads of Braxton Hicks, especially the last week or so. Over the last day it's starting to feel like the period pains are lining up with the tightenings, whereas before they were not connected at all. It's so mild though, barely even painful, I don't really believe it's anything real.

Probably not OP. If it is you should know withing an hour or so. That's how long it took me to figure it out 🤣. Being overdue is shit, but you don't have long to go now.

Like you, I had Braxton. Hicks for WEEKS. I then had a “partial” sweep at 40 weeks when the cervix still wasn’t favourable. At 41 weeks I had a “proper” sweep around 11am, serious contractions started within minutes, I went to the birth centre around 3:30pm and left with my baby shortly after midnight after a totally uncomplicated birth. I promise, you won’t be pregnant forever!

Regarding crying, I think you are right about the hormones and also the release of tension. It definitely started both of mine.

Oh that sounds a great set up OP I think sometimes the positive birth courses etc can make people think that inductions always equal further inventions and are dark scary things. That's not always the case!!! It's just your chances are a bit higher of that, not that it's a 100% certainty. Also... as soon as proper labour kicked in via the pessary I was really happy, I was so desperate by that point after being so overdue I was like YES BRING IT ON! LETS GET ME MY BABY!!! The feeling of holding your baby once they arrive is pure magic. I'm jealous that you get a scrummy baby soon whereas mine is a feral toddler who constantly wipes snot on me at the minute 😂

I feel your pain! 41 weeks today with 3rd attempt at a sweep later, I wasn't favourable for the first 2. Been having cramps and pains for days but no other signs (loss of plug etc).
Really wanted to avoid induction but starting to feel desperate! Hope you're feeling better soon and we'll be holding our babies with this as a distant memory 🙏🏼

With both of mine I went into labour spontaneously the night before I was due to be induced, at 41+13! Had a few random braxton hicks and a bit of a show but nothing else really apart from that. I didn’t progress well with the labours so they ended up breaking my waters for me both times, and that moved things on so much quicker and was all that was needed.
Best of luck!

I was booked for induction with my first two children. Both arrived very quickly the night before I was due to go in. With my second my mum was travelling over to help . Baby arrived through the night so we decided not to wake mum to tell her. She arrived next morning to the lovely surprise that she had a granddaughter .

If you do end up induced, then it's really not the end of the world, honestly. My third kid didn't seem to want to get out, I was booked for an induction at 41+3 (I was totally fed up) and tried EVERYTHING in the days running up to the induction to get labour started, but nothing worked. I went in for the induction, started having contractions within 5 minutes of them putting the pessary in, and had a really straightforward birth, in the birthing pool.

Just had my second sweep and the midwife managed to get all the way in this time! She said I have made definite progress since Monday. Third sweep booked for this coming Monday (41+4) and then outpatient induction beginning Tuesday (41+5) if needed. She seems optimistic, fingers crossed!

I know it's easy to say this , as I'm not 41w right now , but I went 2 weeks over with each of my three. Hideously frustrated doesnt even cover it.

You're almost there. You will have your baby in your arms soon. You may or may not deliver before your induction date , but I will say this - the induction will probably be fast and uncomplicated as your body will be ready.

Good luck.

I went 9 days over... At 8 days over I was feeling desperate and we dtd.... contractions started the next morning. Ways and means!!

How you doing op?

I was induced both times. First not signs what so ever, I don't believe she was coming without medical assistance.

Second time loads of signs until 37weeks then nothing. Again needed induction. Was in a really bad way mentally in the hospital waiting to be induced thinking I'd failed and the baby wasn't going to make it, no reason to believe this I was just broken by that point) Second time birth was much quicker even with an induction and all was well.

Good luck induction or natural x

Thanks @WhereDoILook, I am making progress but I'm not sure if it's going to be fast enough. I'm having occasional painful contractions - finally! - they are very long and feel quite strong, not that I have much to compare them to. But they are very very infrequent, like 5 since yesterday afternoon. This morning I also had a second show which was a lot bloodier this time (sorry tmi!) All good signs and Tuesday is a while away.

That's exciting OP. I am sure you will have your baby in your arms before Tuesday. Good luck.

I meant to say please let us know. I am thinking about you more than I should be through the day.

Thank you @Buddywoo It's nice to have the support of strangers as I don't want to jinx anything by telling friends and family! (Who are starting to send slightly concerned messages saying they're thinking of me - probably wondering why there is no baby yet...)

Making progress is great. It means the induction if you need it is more likely to work. I also needed an induction at 41+4 because DS was overdue. I had 2 lots of hormone gel on the cervix, the balloon thing then the drip and the whole process took about 3 days. But it all worked. I had a pretty straightforward vaginal birth and healed fast. I probably would have gone in to labour naturally within a week or two more but DS was over 9 lbs at 42weeks when he was born so I wouldn’t have wanted to risk either the placenta failing or him getting stuck. I feel pretty good about the whole experience despite it not being a perfect textbook natural labour.

That sounds like progress and more than I ever got with all 4 DC. Even after the first pessary no progress with 3 of them 🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s not quite what you asked for but I was induced at 40+10 (absolutely no signs whatsoever- not even a mild cramp) and fully understand the pressure/feeling of failure. Contractions started within 30mins of the pessary and had the baby a couple of hours later with gas/air and a water birth…it was more straightforward than friends who’d gone into labour spontaneously. Fingers crossed as you’re overdue, it will be similar for you and baby just needs a little nudge. Just wanted to comment to show that there are positive induction stories (just not many to be found online!) X