How are u managing once baby arrives?

[Rubyrecka]

When DP goes back work (assuming that husband is going back to work & mum is staying on maternity leave) with the night feeds etc.

I've just been promptly informed that he'll need his sleep when he goes back to work after his paternity leave (umm hi your having a child, bye sleep) so I've told him he's having a laugh if he thinks I'm doing all the night feeds. Is that unreasonable?

He works in HSE and starts a new job so
I get why he's said it but also I would prefer to sort some kind of rota out - what did u do/planning to do?

I breastfed so I did them all.

He did all (and I do mean all) cooking, laundry, housework and gardening for the first couple of months, left me lunch in the fridge on work days, and got up at 5 to walk with baby in sling for an hour so I could actually sleep.

I done most of the night feeds as I was on maternity leave with baby, but my husband did do some aswell when I was particularly exhausted . Husband done his fair share of a weekend

We didn’t need a rota ; some days you will be exhausted and some days your husband will be…we just went with the flow tbh

I breastfed so done them all. At the weekends dp would change her nappy etc for me at night to help out.
We didn't have a rota. He did do more housework, cooking and cleaning throughout the day though.

I breastfed but I expressed milk and DH sat up with me sometimes, DH was a god send during the nights and he worked 12 hour shifts

I do all the night feeds due to being the only one capable of lactating. I highly recommend co-sleeping - means you do also get a decent amount of sleep.

DH does the early mornings with toddler DS1. He then is often at work all day until 9/10pm so everything at home is down to me. I find that getting up and dressed at a decent time in the morning makes the rest of the day loads easier to manage.

But yeah, I agree that the one going to work should generally get the unbroken night’s sleep.

Breastfed both mine and so have always done the nights but my dh has helped me catch up on sleep at other times. Mostly early evening (when newborn) or early morning before he goes to work. Imo there's no point both being tired and so I always encourage dh to get a good nights sleep so he's more help to me in the day. In fact we argue over him coming to bed late and essentially making himself more tired than he needs to be!

And yes to cosleeping if breastfeeding. It is a godsend.

I BF for about three months but DD only woke in the night for feeds for about the first 8 weeks (as in she would sleep like 11-6 after that). During that time I did all those feeds but sometimes DH would give a bottle of expressed milk or formula for the last feed around 9/10/11 and I'd go to bed really early at like 9 on those nights to get that extra bit of sleep in. He would also do any night time nappy changes and he would also get up and settle her if I'd already fed her off both sides and she wouldn't settle to sleep. I dunno what we would have done if she'd continue to have woke long term though but as she was bottle fed by that point I'm thinking we may have done split shifts or taken it in turns and I'd probably have done a slightly greater share given that I could occasionally manage to nap in the daytime. DH was a FT student on a healthcare course at the time, DD was born during his first placement.

I breastfed so did all night feeds. By the time the first switched to bottle he was sleeping through the night. My husband also worked very long hours and even if bottle fed from the beginning I would do all of them.
My babies slept in their own rooms on a different floor. I also established a routine from day one and after a couple months it was pretty good - never felt that sleep deprived.

Op, I did breast feed first dc for first few weeks, so obviously that was all on me. Then once I changed to bottle I still did it because oh was back to working full time so it seemed unreasonable to expect him to be up feeding half the night then go do a proper job. Next two dc I just automatically took on night feeds and tbh most day feeds too. I could nap when dc was napping with first one, then I just got used to living on very little sleep beyond that. I think a rota is a bit far fetched as an idea tbh. It passes fast enough, even though it won't feel like it does at the time.

Bottle fed DD and I did the majority of nights when I was on maternity. DH would do one or two a week depending on how tired I was.

The roles are reversed now as DH stays at home and I work and I do one or two nights a week on toddler watch but he does the vast majority of night wakings.

I'd reply with "that's easy then, I'll have Friday and Saturday night off so you're ok at work mon-fri"

If it's a new job then I understand the pressure to perform well especially if there's a probation period BUT he is having a baby and needs to pull his weight whether with housework/doing weekends/whatever.

It's not reasonable for him to work mon-fri 9-5 and for you to do 24/7. Note: having a baby is 24/7 thus both of your free time (and sleep) will/should reduce.

My DH doesn't do baby might wakings, he does all the preschool (we have 2 of those as well) night wwakings - I genuinely think I've got the better deal

With both of mine I introduced one bottle for first night feed, I would go to bed early (maybe 9pm) and my husband would do a bottle at 11pm before he went to bed so I might get a four hour stint of sleep before the other night feeds.

I’m planning on my baby being a robot baby who feeds at 3, 7, 11, 3, 7, 11. He’ll do the 11 o’clock feed (or just before) when he’s going to bed and I’ll go to bed before that. I’ll then get up once during the night for the 3am feed. When he gets up for work I’ll get up and do the morning feed. That’s how it’s working in my dream land anyway and I will hear nothing different to it 😉😂

I do everything once dh goes back to work and I always have. He is military so works away from home most of the time, even when he is home he rarely wakes to a crying baby (and we've had it in stereo with twins). Managed with 5 kids and will manage this one too.

It's give and take I do the night feeds 6 nights a week Dh does it one night more if I was really tired. We also have a 3yr so he tends to look after him, gets him up takes to nursery. What we did do when we only had one ds and when I went back to work was take it turns at the weekends
It's also easier for u to nap in the day while have one child where Dh would be at work so won't be able to

Hmm see my partner has offered to do night feeds but I don't think it's fair as he has to go to work.

So It's each to their own I think.

I BF both of mine so did all the night feeds. OH would sometime take them for an hour or so in the evening or morning when very young but neither went long between feeds so that wasn’t very successful!

I exclusively breastfed and still bf during the night at 18 months.

I wfh ( during naps, weekends etc) and husband works full time (from home too atm).

Husband does half the wake ups, he fetches and carries her to me. I feed her while I'm basically half asleep, he puts her back It's 50/50.

Otherwise it's so unrelenting. Ask him how he'd like to work 24/7. Because without any breaks that's essentially what you will do.

I do all the night feeds because I breastfeed. He does all the household chores.

Obviously I did pretty much the first 6 months while she was in our room. But she slept next to me in a snuzpod and, for a time, coslept (4 mo sleep regression).

I also breastfed so did all nights but we had a really bad sleeper due to colic so he did help out by taking our daughter for an hour or two early morning after a feed so I could sleep. After about 3 months I also started pumping milk to ‘buy’ me one night off per week as the bad sleep carried on for ages! The sooner your baby gets comfortable with being settled by your partner the better as if left too late I have friends whose baby will only ever sleep with / settle for mum.

Yes he’s at work but taking care of a baby on no sleep all day isn’t easy either so he needs to help where possible.

Prior to having our son, I'd planned on combi feeding or bottle feeding. I felt it was fair that I did all night feeds during the week as he had a long day working although he could do the last feed at night and first in the morning. The weekends he would then do the majority of feeds.
I ended up breastfeeding so I did all of the feeds. If I needed time to nap through the day when he was around, he would take baby so I could sleep.
Personally I think if someone needs to go and do a full days work, they need the sleep more. I say this as someone whose baby would only nap breastfeeding so there was no sleep when the baby sleeps through the day for me.

I initially breastfeed so did all night feeds. When I went to bottles I would do all the nights when he had work the next day and then he would take over for 2 nights a week

I also made him go to the spare room on my nights as I found it very annoying when he’d be snoring next to me and i wanted him to have enough sleep for work.

Tbh it didn’t bother me…I got breaks at the weekends, he did all the cooking, cleaning, general running around when I was tired etc

Recently had baby2 and DH now back at work. We follow the same routine that worked with DS1 - DH does the late "dream feed" at about 10:30pm and I go to bed early to get a few hours in. Then I do the night feeds (typically a feed at about 2-3am, and maybe another at 5am). DH then does a quick feed at about 6/6:30am when he gets up for work and puts baby back down to sleep. I get up with baby about 7:30/8am.