I think I fucked up really badly (Binging, x-ray, now I'm pregnant)

[TerrasaurusRex]

Hello all.

I'm quite worried that I have really fucked up.

I found out this morning that I am pregnant. I'm not sure how long exactly but at a guess I'm thinking my last period was around the 7th of May. That would make be about 2/3 weeks gone but honestly I have no idea because I never track these things, and I haven't exactly been trying. I had sex once last month so I guess I hit the bullseye with my husband.

Cut a long story short, I've been having really bad leg pain and haven't been able to walk for 2 months without my groin aching. About two weeks ago it got so bad that I started drinking every night just to take the pain away. And then MORE at the weekend. I went to see a physio. Got an x-ray done on advice of the physiotherapist. Drank more booze. And it's a lot. Bank holiday Monday I drank nearly a 700ml vodka by myself plus two beers over an 8 hour period - I felt so ashamed of myself the next day. Every day I've had 3 or four drinks plus more at the weekends. This isn't normal behaviour for me - usually I don't touch a drop during the week but work's non existent (I work teaching privately and it's dried up due to COVID) so the past two weeks I've had loads of free time and due to no work and the pain had nothing holding me back really.

Fast forward to today. I've been expecting to come on this week and having nothing but cramps so decided to pee on a stick this morning.

Fuck.

I'm 38 years old and never been pregnant before. No children. And now I'm terrified that I've done some serious damage with regard to the volume of booze PLUS the X-ray, PLUS the fact that I'm at higher risk of DS and stuff like that due to my age.

To make things worse I live in Poland, abortions are completely illegal here anyway - even with foetal abnormalities - a ruling that happened recently, but also women's healthcare is really judgy and preachy.

I'm going to have to find a gyno who is willing to do all the scans (some of them won't even tell you there's anything wrong for religious reasons), and I don't know where to go to find one who isn't a religious nutbag, and will help me deliver a healthy baby.

I also have really bad anxiety issues, and the thought of pregnancy and all the stuff that can go wrong is terrifying/disgusting enough as it is.

To make things worse, l just finished seeing my psychologist YESTERDAY after 3 years and then today I get a positive pee stick test. So now I feel I have nothing to fall back on.

I just want to cry. I feel I've fucked this all up before I've started and there's nothing I can do. I don't necessarily want an abortion. I just want a healthy baby. My Polish is shit. I don't have any female friends I can turn to for advice. I don't have any family here apart from my husband - who I really love. I don't know how they system works, and on top of all that I think I might have damaged the poor kid's chances before it stopped being a sack of cells.

How shit am I, how much have I potentially damaged my child and how much do I need to start panicking? I'm on the brink of tears.

Someone with better knowledge will come along soon to explain why but I believe it isn't until the 3rd week after fertilisation that alcohol can cause issues. A not very good link to help put your mind at risk:

drugabuse.com/blog/the-damage-of-drinking-during-early-pregnancy-3-myths-debunked/

The risk from a leg X ray is also very low. Before ultrasound, X rays were used to diagnose pregnancy.

The risks from either alcohol or x ray in the early weeks is teeny tiny. Please don’t worry.

Didn’t want to see this & run.. please do not worry. Plenty of women drink etc in the first few weeks before they realise. As long as you’ve stopped now that’s the main thing. With my first I didn’t find out until early Jan and I’d been pregnant all over Xmas with party season- I’d drank quite a bit at numerous functions before the positive test and my baby girl is now a healthy happy toddler!

Can you see your doctor for advice/support groups available round you?

I should preface this by saying I’m not a doctor or midwife or HCP, but:

1. Loads and loads of women drink before they find out they’re pregnant. Including me. I was so upset about it when I found out. I asked my midwife about it and she laughed and said ‘if I had a pound for every time I’ve heard that!’ And that positive pregnancy test is now a happy healthy two year old. I don’t think the baby shares a blood supply with you as such until a couple of weeks after conception.

1. On the x-ray point, I’m not an expert but I thought that generally speaking the risk was quite small and only really associated with abdominal x-rays, but that doctors avoid x-raying pregnant women out of an abundance of caution.

1. I have read about Poland’s antenatal care and the abortion issues in the past. Are you British? If so, could you come back and seek antenatal care here? I appreciate travel isn’t easy at the moment.

@Heymumma29

Didn’t want to see this & run.. please do not worry. Plenty of women drink etc in the first few weeks before they realise. As long as you’ve stopped now that’s the main thing. With my first I didn’t find out until early Jan and I’d been pregnant all over Xmas with party season- I’d drank quite a bit at numerous functions before the positive test and my baby girl is now a healthy happy toddler!

Can you see your doctor for advice/support groups available round you?

Can you see your doctor for advice/support groups available round you?

I wouldn't even know where to start. I have a friend of a friend who works in Gyno. My husband has messaged her but she is on holiday in Turkey and isn't coming back until this evening.

Hopefully she will talk to me tomorrow about what my options are.

3. I have read about Poland’s antenatal care and the abortion issues in the past. Are you British? If so, could you come back and seek antenatal care here? I appreciate travel isn’t easy at the moment.

I am British but I have been living away for a really really long time (10 years). Not vaccinated yet so that's another minefield, and tbh I really don't want to be going to stay with my mum as she would lose her mind with excitement, and I don't think I would be able to live with her anyway. We get on OK but only if long distance IYSWIM.

I have nowhere else to stay back in the UK.

My husband works full time and I don't want to be without him because he really is my rock.

I went to a several days long music festival at a similar time in pregnancy to you. I was drinking everyday with no idea I was pregnant. I found out 10 days later when I got home and started getting symptoms... like you I was terrified I had harmed by baby.

My GP said it was vvv unlikely so early in pregnancy. In the past this was very common as women didn't have access to testing and widespread contraception and didn't know they were pregnant so early.

My DC was very thankfully born with no health impacts. for you.

First of all i drank so much before i knew i was pregnant, cocktails, wine, nights out etc. I was also 38. We were trying but after 2 miscarriages i wasnt sure it was going to happen for us so carried on living my life....and i have a very healthy 7 year old playing in the garden right now so drinking very very early should not make a difference.
Secondly i am a radiographer and also a radiation protection supervisor of 26 years experience and there would be next to no scatter radiation go anywhere near an abdomen from a leg xray. The doses are so small they dont even recommend any lead shielding anymore. I go to yearly updates on figures etc and i promise you that the xray will not have affected your baby. I hope this puts your mind at rest x

@radness75

First of all i drank so much before i knew i was pregnant, cocktails, wine, nights out etc. I was also 38. We were trying but after 2 miscarriages i wasnt sure it was going to happen for us so carried on living my life....and i have a very healthy 7 year old playing in the garden right now so drinking very very early should not make a difference. Secondly i am a radiographer and also a radiation protection supervisor of 26 years experience and there would be next to no scatter radiation go anywhere near an abdomen from a leg xray. The doses are so small they dont even recommend any lead shielding anymore. I go to yearly updates on figures etc and i promise you that the xray will not have affected your baby. I hope this puts your mind at rest x

Thank you. It was a hip x-ray. And no, they didn't use lead shielding.

Would that make a difference?

So many women drink / take prescription meds in the very early weeks of pregnancy because they haven't yet had their missed period. It was a lot to drink but won't cause a problem if you stop now.On

If you want this, congratulations, and stop beating yourself up. And start on the folic acid. Best of luck with bump.

I remember feeling like this too as I had a seriously drunken night out when I was about 2 or 3 weeks gone- I found out a week later and I had gaps in my memory (later found out I was doing nothing worse that staggering around) and I worried all through my pregnancy. She is now 8 and playing with the cat in the garden

Just another to say the alcohol won’t have had an impact, I did the same as you as I didn’t know I was pregnant either. You have to be an alcoholic, drinking the whole of pregnancy to affect a baby.
Im not sure about x rays, but again it’s so early and the X-ray was on your hip not your stomach. Oh I’ve just seen someone reply to the X-ray part.

I think you’ll be fine, just start the folic acid good luck.

Don't worry about the drinking - I mean it's totally excessive but you're aware of it and presumably have stopped - my friend was drinking, smashing the gym and all sorts and she found out she was pregnant at 10 weeks. She now has a very healthy 18 month old.

If your really worried about DS etc then do Poland have the equivalent of Harmony or a NIPT test?

Aren't they legally obliged to tell you what's going on in the scans?!

Hope your feeling a bit better. Take each day at a time.

Lots of useful things to think about on this thread. Could you possibly contact your psychologist for support?

@Rubyrecka

Don't worry about the drinking - I mean it's totally excessive but you're aware of it and presumably have stopped - my friend was drinking, smashing the gym and all sorts and she found out she was pregnant at 10 weeks. She now has a very healthy 18 month old.

If your really worried about DS etc then do Poland have the equivalent of Harmony or a NIPT test?

Aren't they legally obliged to tell you what's going on in the scans?!

Hope your feeling a bit better. Take each day at a time.

Yeah. Well of course I've stopped!!

Many ultrasonographers tell you what's going on in the scans with pregnancy. One of my friends had a stomach scan and it was found she was pregnant but the ultrasonographer didn't write it up on the report and instead gave her the scan and a "hint" saying she might want to see a gynaecologist. This is to absolve them of liability.

Some gynaecologists won't send you for tests if they think there's a chance you might abort.

I don't know if Harmony or NIPT is available here. I guess I should go have a look.

Had a look round.

It looks like Harmony and NIPT are not available on the National Health, and it looks quite expensive to get done.

If your last period was on 7 May then you are 4 weeks + 5 days pregnant (though you wouldn't actually be pregnant for the first couple of weeks until you ovulated)

I'm no expert but so many people drink and have x rays before they know they are pregnant

Okay, deep breath OP.

The risk associated with xray is very very small. They would be more concerned about many, many xrays of the area, which you have not had.

Alcohol is not ideal in pregnancy but you did not know, it was for a short time, and you have stopped now. It is very very likely things will be 100% fine. You could have an early scan if possible to check that the overall morphology etc looks okay.

Now is the time to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Wishing you all the best

Congratulations OP! Deep breath, relax. This is it. This is your time to be the best person you can be. You will find support, you can do this. All will be well, all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

When a foetus is very early on if any cells are damaged the same cells can be replicated elsewhere. As all cells can be grown into any component. So if alcohol damaged, say an arm cell one, it would be regrown. This is the case I believe until at least around 4 weeks.

I drank two bottles of wine and cocktails the day before I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant. I was also 38. Everything was fine, she’s now 7 and top of the class.

Like one of the previous posters I am also a radiographer and radiation protection supervisor and although we would never xray a hip/pelvis on a potentially pregnant lady unless there were exceptional circumstances such as a life threatening injury, the radiation dose is tiny and unlikely to have any effect from one single xray.

As for the alcohol, I believe you don't share a blood supply with the embryo that early on and like others have said tons of women drink before they find out they're good pregnant and it's not like there's a huge population of people with foetal alcohol syndrome walking around

Like a previous poster, I discovered I was pregnant in the January having enjoyed the Christmas Party Season , Christmas and New Year with a lot to drink. My healthy daughter was born in July that year. Speak to your GP and midwife for reassurance.

I'm not a doctor, but the weekend before I found out I was pregnant I was away with the girls and ended up getting absolutely slotted for the whole weekend (think 80s hen weekend). The baby was fine and healthy.

I also just want to add to PP that addicts or regular drinkers can go on to have healthy babies. Lots of babies are conceived on drunk holidays/one night stands etc.

I hope you get the support you need, above all, what will make you haley.