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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Conceiving over 35

77 replies

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 13:51

Hi all,

There's probably already a load of threads about this but here we go......

I'll be turning 36 in June and DH and I have decided to start trying again. DS will he 9 this year, but we've waited so long because his birth was truely horrific and DH has refused to even entertain the idea of a second until now. I think he had the 'worst' of the situation as I was kinda out of it and wasn't really even aware of just how wrong things nearly went until a few years ago, DH didn't want to talk about it.

The push I think he needed was sort of the 'now or never argument', but i'm now worried that we might have waited too long.

Any others trying to conceive at over 35? Success stories? How long did it take? Are the odds really as bad as they seem?

Now that DH is convinced i'm impatient for it to happen lol Thanks everyone x

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Moominmiss · 20/04/2021 13:59

I have 3dc aged 10, 9, and 6. I’m now 38 and 18 weeks pregnant, but we started ttc when I was 37.

My first 3 pregnancies I fell pregnant within 2 cycles of trying. Obviously I was much younger in all of those.

This time around it took 18 months and 4 miscarriages along the way. I was referred to a fertility specialist where my partner and I had various blood tests, I had scans, he had a semen analysis carried out but all was perfect so no reason.

I was told it was likely just down to my age and the fact my eggs were of not as good quality anymore.

I was taking 200mg of ubiquinol a day which helped with egg quality in older women. It’s not cheap but well worth it IMO.

Eventually after the 4th loss I started myself on 150mg aspirin a day and here I am.

So for me it was significantly harder, BUT having said that, I have several friends of similar age to myself who have had no issues whatsoever in conceiving later on!

Good luck!

Countrylane · 20/04/2021 14:04

First time - I was 36 - took about six months. Second time, I was 38, about four (I'd have left a bit longer between them if I'd known it was going to be so quick!). Both pregnancies completely straightforward. I know I'm lucky, but most of my friends also left it a bit later, and it's been fine for them too. Sorry you had such a difficult time first time around.

Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 14:15

I conceived the first month we tried with DS, but I was 26 then lol! I feel like i'm expecting it to be really quick this time too and I just end up being disappointed every month. In all fairnesss we've only been trying for 2 cycles

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Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 14:16

Wow so quick! Fingers crossed.

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ParkheadParadise · 20/04/2021 14:20

I had Dd2 at 38.
I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5 months. She was a surprise arrival😂😂
23 years after Dd1 was born.

sylbunny · 20/04/2021 14:24

Had both of mine over 35. First was at 36 and took about 9 months of trying but only seriously (tracking ovulation) for 5 months of that. Second I've just given birth to, conceived at 38 in the second month of trying. Both are healthy wonderful children.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 20/04/2021 14:28

Got pregnant the first month at 42. Wasn't even trying

Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 14:33

@ParkheadParadise I bet that was a surprise!

@sylbunny Congratulations. I'm hoping our second conception will be as easier as the first.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn Wow!
That gives me hope. Thank you.

I'm terribly impatient and now that we've decided we're going for it I want it quickly lol. Also I honestly don't know what the situation for fertility treatment is in my country so no idea what we'll do if it doesn't happen

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Popcornbetty · 20/04/2021 14:35

Had both of mine under 35 and other day i was just saying to dh how i couldn't have a baby any older as was found it and am finding it exhausting at with dc2! I admire anybody who does it older as I'm shattered now!

Popcornbetty · 20/04/2021 14:35

have*

Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 14:38

@Popcornbetty honestly i've spent several years thinking the same thing. I've almost been in a limbo of having waited so long after DS but then thinking 'i'm too old to do it all again now' and especially as life finally seems easier now that DS is bigger and more independent.

But it hit me the other day that i've always wanted 2 and if I didn't do it now I never would. My SIL had her DD at 39 and while I do feel she found it more difficult than I did I think that's more about who she is as a person rather than her age lol

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Popcornbetty · 20/04/2021 14:45

Good for you @hewegoagain and it sounds like this will be the right decision for you and your family. i had 2 under 3 so that most probably is why i feel the way i do! I felt if i didn't do it when i did I never would so can relate to the feeling. I think having a larger age gap will be less exhausting for you as well.

Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 14:47

@Popcornbetty hopefully. DS has honestly always been wonderful and easy, even now he's so easy going it's unbelievable.

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Chelyanne · 20/04/2021 14:50

I'm 36. Our current one was conceived on the 2nd cycle of ttc after a short break.
She follows 2 mc's and a few chemicals since our last live births. We have 5 children already, 15, 10, 8 & 6 (twins). Pregnancy seems to be taking it out if me a bit more this time round which is weird after having twins, I'd still have more though. DH has said he'd like to try again and I remain open to the idea despite my mother saying I'm getting too old lol.

ArtfulScreamer · 20/04/2021 14:56

I'm 40 on Thursday and currently 30 weeks pregnant. My DD is 2 and she took 5 years TTC and a round of IVF, this baby was conceived 18 months after her birth and was a surprise as we expected to need treatment again. You've had previous good fertility so fingers crossed you'll be lucky again.

Popcornbetty · 20/04/2021 14:56

@hewegoagain that's lovely and hopefully a good little helper there aswell! Dc1 was always demanding and we didn't have an easy time with him (getting better as gettinf older) but dc2 is a breeze in comparison so it's true no two are always the same. If I'd have gone by dc1 I'd never have had another one
Sending lots of baby dust your way op

Waitingforbabypage · 20/04/2021 14:58

I'm 36 and currently 33 weeks with my third.
We were very lucky and conceived the first month of trying/ having my implant removed.

Original poster

hewegoagain · 20/04/2021 15:26

@Popcornbetty yeah, i'm hoping the next one will be as laid back otherwise I might regret my decision.

@Waitingforbabypage wow so lucky, congratulations. Fingers crossed i'll get lucky as well.

Thanks for all your lovely messages, I feel slightly more optimistic now

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HayB · 20/04/2021 15:48

36 almost 37 and 17 weeks pregnant. My first pregnancy (4 years ago) was ivf as we were told we had very little chance of conceiving naturally, this pregnancy was a very big surprise!!!
So considering our circumstances and my age you have every chance of getting pregnant as I did, if not more.

Goodluck 😀

WalkingMeAway · 20/04/2021 15:59

I'm 39 and currently 28w pregnant with my third (first 27, second 34). We fell straight away

All the best!

Notenjoying3 · 20/04/2021 16:03

More hope for you - conceived first month of trying at 35. Also conceived first month of trying with my first when I was 32. I was super worried it would take a lot longer now I was over the dreaded 35, but it didn't. I realise we are so incredibly lucky but hopefully it helps to know it can happen! All the best!

JulesJules · 20/04/2021 16:23

The theory that women's fertility falls off a cliff after the age of 35 was based on church records in France in the 1700s. See link - www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24128176 there's better news based on more recent data further down the article.

Fwiw I had both my children in my 40s

Iheartbed · 20/04/2021 17:06

Fell on third month at 38 and 39

alloverthecarpetagain · 20/04/2021 17:10

Surprise at 38 for me!

AegonT · 20/04/2021 17:12

First time I was 29 and it took just one month. Second time I was 35 and it took 10 months. I know people who've had babies at 40.

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