Conceiving over 35

[hewegoagain]

Hi all,

There's probably already a load of threads about this but here we go......

I'll be turning 36 in June and DH and I have decided to start trying again. DS will he 9 this year, but we've waited so long because his birth was truely horrific and DH has refused to even entertain the idea of a second until now. I think he had the 'worst' of the situation as I was kinda out of it and wasn't really even aware of just how wrong things nearly went until a few years ago, DH didn't want to talk about it.

The push I think he needed was sort of the 'now or never argument', but i'm now worried that we might have waited too long.

Any others trying to conceive at over 35? Success stories? How long did it take? Are the odds really as bad as they seem?

Now that DH is convinced i'm impatient for it to happen lol Thanks everyone x

Started TTC first baby at 31, took 3 years. Second baby at 37, 2 months!

Thanks everyone for you messages of encouragement.

I'm trying to take everything calmly and bekng patient. DH however seems to think that it'll happen this month and keeps making comments (I was feeling a bit sick yesterday and he started making comments about morning sickness, i'm only 4DPO), and it's annoying me at the moment

Had mine at 25 and 35, got pregnant straight away with them both (though my eldest was unplanned)

FTM at 38 and DF is 41, took 3 months ☺️

I think we're unusual but we agreed to start trying again just after my 38th birthday (mid August). We only DTD once and I'm being induced later today so it can happen very quickly. I was expecting it to take up to a year but here we are.

@Thamigumathacharaid that's great! Congratulations!

I'm trying to be calm about all this and remind myself that it may not happen straight away, but I so want it to. I've been feeling weird the last few days but i'm o ly 4DPO so I know it's all in my head

I am 36 (37 in summer) and 17 weeks with our 2nd. I was told in my 20s I had pcos and would likely find conceiving a little tricky. Our first was a lovely surprised after coming off the pill because it didn't agree with me, we were pregnant 4 weeks later. Always assumed it was something to do with coming off the pill as I was convinced the pcos would be an issue. We decided to try again in November. First month we didn't track anything but the second month I started tracking my temp. After hitting the middle of my cycle and realising there was no indication of ovulation yet, I started to wonder if I was even ovulating. A week later I had cramps that I have every month so we had sex just in case. And here we are. It turns out I ovulate about a week later than average which I had absolutely no idea of until now and I'm super glad I decided to track my temp to help figure that out.
That's a long way of saying it can happen and there is hope :) I appreciate we are very lucky but I know quite a lot of people who have been as lucky later on too.
I also had a traumatic first birth and have to say so far the midwives have been great. I have a meeting with a consultant midwife to put a birth plan in place and discuss options. It is daunting but I do feel listened to and supported so far. Good luck! X

You'll never again be more fertile than you are right now so if it's what you both want get cracking. The older you get the harder it will be. Good luck 🤞

Myself and DH started TTC when I was 36 and I finally conceived through IVF at 40.

I’ve literally just found out I’m pregnant and I’m 39

I conceived first month trying at 31 and 32, we tried for our 3rd when I was 36 and again fell pregnant first try, I miscarried at 7 weeks but we tried again right away and fell pregnant again right away. I think I'm quite fertile anyway and we are quite healthy, my husband is the same age as me too. Fertility doesn't drop off a cliff at 35, it just starts a steady decline. Closer to 40 you might start to struggle but 36 generally speaking you should be fine. One thing I will say is I had a much more difficult pregnancy and birth though, but this may have been due to it being a 3rd baby rather than me being 37 when I gave birth.

@Iheartbed congratulations!

@Trixie78 congratulations as well! Was curious as to whether it's your first pregnancy or if you have more DC?

Thank you, I should have been clearer sorry, it was my first pregnancy and I ended up having twins so it was my last too. They're monster toddlers now 😭😅😅 xx

@Trixie78 double congratulations then 😁 can't even begin to imagine what a handful twins must be.

DC1 when I was 35. No idea really how long, wasn’t actively TTC, had been off the pill for about 7 months but still a total shock as like you I assumed you needed a targeted effort at that age.

DC2 took two months aged 39. Approached TTC like a military operation though.

First at 35, second (two!) at 40. Conceived in 3 months with the first, took years of actively trying second time (one chemical pregnancy)

Can I recommend the book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' by Toni Weschler , which I found really informative.

Took us about 7 months (I'm 37, DH 36). I'm now 20weeks along and it's my first baby. I was starting to get worried that nothing was happening and was all ready to book an appointment with the GP to get myself checked out and then BAM! The nausea began... I was SO paranoid about being too old to get pregnant and after we passed the six month mark I did get quite down in the dumps about it all.
However, we weren't really tracking my fertile days til the final two months and (sorry if this is TMI) nor were we really doing the deed enough.... let's just say that lockdown and a range of work and family dramas throughout 2020 really put a dampener on things in the bedroom. So in retrospect I wish I had had a bit more patience with the situation and saved some of my tears.
My only words of advice would be get to know your body, make time for sex and be KIND to yourself.
Weirdly, since I got pregnant I swear every day another friend, colleague or celebrity in their late 30's seems to announce that they are expecting. I know this is just anecdotal but where I am there do seem to be a lot of late 30's pregnancies and births around right now, so maybe the odds of conceiving naturally post 35 really aren't that slim.

I fell pregnant in the first month with our first three children at the ages of 24, 27 and 32. With our fourth baby I was 35 when I fell pregnant and 36 when he was born, and it took us three months to conceive.

I started trying just before my 35th birthday and got pregnant on first cycle.

I got pregnant 4 times on the first (3 pregnancies) or second month of trying aged 36-38. 3 ended in miscarriage - I was then diagnosed with APS and my next pregnancy (conceived the following month!) was successful. I’ll be trying for number 2 in the next few months, just before I turn 40. Not expecting any issues with conception as that’s never been a problem.

@Olinguita thanks for your comments. Yeah, finding the time and energy to actually have sex...... DS is 9 and although he's older, just the shear weight of homework, extra curriculars, etc etc plus DH work schedule etc etc is exhausting 😅

@Littlegoth thanks for your comments. We had no problems with DS, but I was 26 at that time, fingers crosserld that we have no issues this time.

Actually it makes me wonder is the dreaded 35 is 'worse' for 1st pregnancies. Do the people who have trouble conceiving over 35 simply have problems because they have problems, rather than it being an age issue?

Update though is that i've seen my GP this week to book a smear test ( been 8 years since i've had one 🤨 work etc and thought it best), and she's prescribed folic acid, iron and B12 while we're trying 👍

I'm 34 so just under 35, FTM, got pregnant first try and its been an extremely easy pregnancy so far. I'm 18 weeks now.

Update: bfp this morning 🥳🥳

Thanks for the update, how exciting!

Congratulations 🥳