Refusing to be weighed at booking

[Bythefire90]

3rd baby and BMI high, never been an issue (higher BMI) in any pregnancy, still happy to do GTT and extra growth scans, but they’ve made such a big issue in the past when I’ve been pregnant despite being healthy in myself re. My BMI, can I refuse to be weighed at my booking appointment this time round? Or will my midwife think I’m being arsey and put me on consultant led care anyway if I refuse?

I’ve birthed two healthy babies, naturally, never had complications, never had Preeclampsia, children were born healthy 7 + lbs at term and always stayed at or lost weight in pregnancies (HG to thank for that).

Don’t want to seem arsey because I love my midwife but also, don’t want to be told throughout pregnancy at every appointment (plus extra appointments made with consultants- which were always pointless) that my pregnancy and labour needs to be treated different because of higher BMI?

Thanks for reading!

They use your height and weight and previous babies weights to predict your growth and do your growth chart so I wouldn’t refuse them to weigh you if you want accurate measurements for that and making sure your baby is growing well later on. Of course it’s your call. Could u ask to be midwife lead? X

*led?

@EXA1912 I have no idea if they can even say.. patient chose to be midwife led. They’ve always been off on predicting how big my babies are going to be.. always being told they’re huge when they’re only 7+Lbers, that’s from growth scans and abdominal measurements so they was pointless too (apart from checking and monitoring their general health of course

I get what you mean, they do make you feel like you're odd in some way but I think looking around it's normal for women these days to be a higher BMI. On the school run most women are at least a size 16 and there are lots pregnant so it's normal. But yet they do make you feel different at these appointments.
They will probably still put you under the same care if you get weighed or not though, just from looking at you.
Were they talking about weight at every appointment?

I had my booking appointment a few weeks back and they never checked my weight. Just did blood pressure , took bloods and urine.

Can you discuss your concerns with your midwife? It sounds like you have a good relationship. Tell her straight why you’re uncomfortable and about your previous experiences.

I don’t have any experience with midwife vs consultant led (different country) but I wonder if midwives have to let consultants lead in cases where there are technically more risks - whether or not those risks are, or have in the past, presented.

Either way, advocate for yourself! Instead of just refusing to be weighed I would maybe suggest preparing a statement in advance for your midwife. If you think you’ll be pressed for time at the appointment maybe see if you can speak on the phone/over email in advance. People in general seems to react more positively when presented with a more comprehensive reason vs an outright refusal.

Yeah they were way out with my first baby, told me 7lb and she was 9lb 6 and I’m only tiny myself. Ended up in labour for 2 days and an emergency csection. Luckily with the next babies they sent me for growth scans which did actually predict my enormous nearly 10lb born son at 39weeks so I didn’t put myself through a vbac...my last baby was actually only a 7 pounder so not sure how that happened. X

I've never been weighed when pregnant. Not because I refused to but because they never asked to do it.

I'm 25 weeks and I've found this pregnancy so different from my previous one about this (and lots of things) they don't seem half as interested in my weight (despite me actually being heavier than before) with the pandemic and everything it's like, they get you in and get you out ASAP and don't have time for all the lecturing. They insist on referring you to a dietician if your BMI is high here but she's been deployed so I don't even have to do that. Have to say it's quite nice being left to my own devices this time, I'm a lot less panicky and precious about it all.

I wouldn't refuse to be weighed. If your true uses customised growth charts this is important for this as a previous poster has said. It is also important for calculating your risk of blood clots, and also certain medications if necessary.

Trust*

I don't get why you wouldn't let them weigh you. Carrying some extra fat is not always a problem but it does increase your risks, them watching more closely is not a bad thing.

My BMI was 32 at booking (a size 16), it was 36 with my last pregnancy (a size 20). My weight was not mentioned at all during booking, they weighed me again at my dating scan when I had bloods for NT testing. I was always going to be under consultant led care as I have had previous large baby (over 4.5kg) and had a cesarean with breech twins last time. I have the GTT, been within normal ranges in last 3 pregnancies. The consultant mentioned weight, age and number baby I'm on (6) making me high risk for blood clots so they want me on blood thinners. No other references to weight and I was more bothered that I'm no longer considered young lol. They've had no issues with scanning me this time, in previous pregnancies my BMI had been referenced when they struggled but only on the report.

Honestly just let them weigh you. It's important to have a baseline weight to make sure you aren't putting on to much/ not enough weight later in pregnancy, which can indicate problems.
You may of had easy pregnancies in the past and would likely be the same this time but every pregnancy is different and high bmi is a huge risk factor for other problems. They can't ignore it.
I say this as someone who has had 5 pregnancies and 2 babies with a high bmi. I've had massive complications in one pregnancy and smaller ones in another but I'm so glad for the extra care the second time around.
It's not going to harm you to be consultant led, if everything is fine they'll likely just see you a few times and that'll be it

Just anecdotal but maybe helpful...

I'm the exact weight and size I was with my first pregnancy, BMI of around 30. The first time round I felt embarrassed about my weight, I felt it was mentioned constantly and always seemed to be an issue. Even though I flew through her pregnancy with zero complications, no issues relating to weight at all.

This time I've taken charge of it myself, i mention my weight before anyone else can! At scans I've said things like "I'm sure it's harder to get exact measurements with my extra abdominal fat" and I've ASKED to be weighed saying I'm going to be making sure I don't put on too much etc, I even openly asked the consultant if my weight meant that my choice for an ELCS was more risky etc and do you know what?...

This time round they have all been LOVELY! telling me not to worry, I'm not that big, it's really no issue etc, even as far as the consultant telling me that in terms of BMI and caesareans I'm THIN 🙄

The line boggles, but what I'm saying is the more proactive and acknowledging I've been about my weight the less stress I've had.

It's almost as if if you don't mention it they think you're thick and they better tell you that you're chubby, but if you say it first they go the other way to make you feel better lol

I think refusing to be weighed by a medical professional when you're pregnant is quite odd and bordering on irresponsible, to be honest. These data points are important for monitoring your health and the progress of the pregnancy.

@snapple21 I think it’s different when you’re onto your 3rd+, you know your body, you know your pregnancies, you know what to look out for more. I know I certainly do, hence why this time I feel differently about being consultant led, as before I embraced it thinking they was helping when in hindsight they was unnecessary and i was just a number to checked off, just an excuse to constantly discuss risks despite me being fully aware and cautious, this time I’m not so much, I’ve never been medicated in pregnancy or otherwise, never had blood clots despite having 2 surgeries and 2 natural childbirths, however know exactly what to look out for and ask for if they do present this time. The growth charts have consistently been way out for me and my children so I put zero faith in those either.

I think the thought of having to get non existent childcare/cart around two young children, when I’m already ill (hyperemesis) to extra unnecessary appointments is just going to be too stressful. Every appointment was over an hour waiting and 5 minutes being seen only to be asked.. “anything changed? No? Great. We’ll see you in 4 weeks”

You know you have a high BMI so that’s not going to be news to you, why not let them get on and weigh you? I don’t really understand why you’d make a fuss about it if asked.

Yes you can refuse. I did because I am declining GAP GROW chart (I want to use intergrowth-21 instead, better evidenced IMO), and also I booked late at 21 weeks. Still midwife led.

@gelatodipistacchio nothing constructive to say then don’t say it on my post please. Insulting me by saying I’m irresponsible and odd is plain rude. My body, my baby. If you read the post rather than just a headline you’d see I’m happy for baby to be monitored (growth scans, GTT) so odd and irresponsible? I think not.

[quote Bythefire90]@snapple21 I think it’s different when you’re onto your 3rd+, you know your body, you know your pregnancies, you know what to look out for more. I know I certainly do, hence why this time I feel differently about being consultant led, as before I embraced it thinking they was helping when in hindsight they was unnecessary and i was just a number to checked off, just an excuse to constantly discuss risks despite me being fully aware and cautious, this time I’m not so much, I’ve never been medicated in pregnancy or otherwise, never had blood clots despite having 2 surgeries and 2 natural childbirths, however know exactly what to look out for and ask for if they do present this time. The growth charts have consistently been way out for me and my children so I put zero faith in those either.

I think the thought of having to get non existent childcare/cart around two young children, when I’m already ill (hyperemesis) to extra unnecessary appointments is just going to be too stressful. Every appointment was over an hour waiting and 5 minutes being seen only to be asked.. “anything changed? No? Great. We’ll see you in 4 weeks”[/quote]
When you say you have a high BMI what are we talking about, roughly? I think there's a difference between being overweight and morbidly obese, the risks get drastic above a certain level and I think it would be wise to be consultant led if you are significantly higher up that scale. But you haven't provided any context to your size so hard to say isn't t

I was v overweight with my first pregnancy but also used to suffer with eating disorder as a teen so at my booking appointment I said that I would be weighed there, didn’t wish my weight to be shared with me and would not want to be weighed at future appointments as I found it very triggering. They respected my wishes. I told them also I already knew I was overweight and had already read what risks that could bring to my pregnancy. Just in case they thought I was burying my head in sand a bit. I did do the glucose fasting test etc and hadn’t growth scans but ironically because my bump was measuring small throughout the pregnancy. Your wishes should be respected.

If you de line to be weighed, they will estimate your BMI, they won’t pretend it’s not raised. So you won’t avoid being referred for consultant-led care or any of the additional tests etc just by refusing to get on the scales.

I get what you're saying. I think you should talk to your midwife about how you feel. When I first saw my midwife there were things I was concerned about given my past experience with pregnancy and she took it really well. Also a lot of midwives and OG doctors have a high BMI too, they should understand you don't want to be made to feel a certain way because of a number.

They normally put your current weight on nuchal blood form if your having combined screening .

Your last pregnancies may have been fine but this time you are older too, which is another factor to consider. I think kicking up a fuss about being weighed will likely make you be seen as difficult and they're only doing it to keep an eye on your health. You can say my body my babies but what if something did happen this time? In my opinion I'd just get weighed and let them do what they need to do to ensure your baby is healthy