Refusing to be weighed at booking

[Bythefire90]

3rd baby and BMI high, never been an issue (higher BMI) in any pregnancy, still happy to do GTT and extra growth scans, but they’ve made such a big issue in the past when I’ve been pregnant despite being healthy in myself re. My BMI, can I refuse to be weighed at my booking appointment this time round? Or will my midwife think I’m being arsey and put me on consultant led care anyway if I refuse?

I’ve birthed two healthy babies, naturally, never had complications, never had Preeclampsia, children were born healthy 7 + lbs at term and always stayed at or lost weight in pregnancies (HG to thank for that).

Don’t want to seem arsey because I love my midwife but also, don’t want to be told throughout pregnancy at every appointment (plus extra appointments made with consultants- which were always pointless) that my pregnancy and labour needs to be treated different because of higher BMI?

Thanks for reading!

You can 100% request not the weighed / not to be consultant led etc. If that’s really what you want stick to your guns. They do use your weight for growth scans so they might not be able to offer them. Ask if you can, what it affects and make an informed decision.

Negatives of this is you have to be more vigilant yourself and (not that it will) but if anything went wrong the doctors and midwives would not be held accountable as you made a decision to go against their advice.

Weigh up the pros and cons talk to your midwife about your concerns 😊

You've not said what your BMI is? Everyone knows being overweight is unhealthy and has huge health implications (irrespective of the plus size models lauded on magazine covers these days) so I do think refusing to be weighed is a bit 🙄 - they require it for medical reasons otherwise they wouldn't ask surely?
I think you'd come across poorly if you refused to be honest

@Bythefire90 Do you mind me asking what your BMI is roughly? I do believe that might make a difference to your options - it did for me!!
I’m in complete agreement with you though - you’ve had other non-complicated pregnancies while having a high BMI, you’ve heard all the risks and stuff that they have to tell you. And you know what to watch out for in terms of symptoms of preeclampsia etc.

You can ask that it is put clearly on your notes that your weight is not to be discussed at all and any discussion around it is not welcome.

I’ve just had baby 2, and had severe anxiety around breastfeeding (preg bfing trauma and ptsd). I asked my midwife to put on my notes that feeding discussions were not to happen which really helped me, as knew it wouldn’t be brought up unexpectedly.

I think you should let them weigh you they are professionals and they need to identify any sudden weight gain or loss your baby comes first and as a mother it shows ur being responsible and putting the baby first

You know they can see how overweight you are and estimate your BMI based on that, right?

I agree with a pp. about you being irresponsible. It’s not just about the baby, they have a duty of care towards you too and need to know this information to give you the correct medications and monitor your progress throughout your pregnancy.

If you don’t want to be spoken to about your BMI then that’s something you should work on fixing, but you can’t expect medical professionals to ignore it just because you don’t like talking about it.

I was weighed at booking - putting me on aspirin 150, consultant led pathway etc

You absolutely do not HAVE to do anything, including be weighed if you do not want to. I allowed myself to be weighed at booking plus when I was admitted for ? blood clot so needed to dose the blood thinning injection but I've refused any other weighing because I know I'm a big chungus and I know I will deal with it postpartum. I don't need health professionals to tell me I'm too fat, I know what healthy eating is and weighing me will only make me feel guilty and sad.

Your midwife might comment on it, but you don't have to be forced to do anything.

Completely disagree with PP saying you are irresponsible for refusing to be weighed.

A medical professional should not judge you for your weight, but a higher BMI will tip you in favour of consultant led care, GD testing, referral to a dietician, growth scans, and potentially being refused a water birth (which is unfair), depending on your local health board rules.

You can still have the extra precautions without standing on the scales, which I would recommend as at least you are keeping an eye on how baby develops, after all every pregnancy is different. I think refusal of care/support that can prevent harm is more irresponsible, simply refusing to be weighed is not.

(obviously just my opinion, just to put it out there as another perspective)

You can decline to be weighed, I did. And you can also decline consultant led care.

If you’re so confident about your health and body, then why wouldn’t you get weighed?

I cant be weighed because I use a wheelchair and can't stand on their scales.

It hasn't made any difference to my care.

BMI is incredibly inaccurate and outdated anyway. Im not sure why its used.

But in answer, yes! You can refuse, of course. Like I've said, I havent been weighed and its not made a difference to my pregnancy or the care I've received.

I got told by my midwife that my booking appointment will be over the phone so how would they weigh me? Sorry I'm no help at all I just wondered.
I would say that you should refuse if its bothering you that much but just be aware of potential complications etc..

You’re clearly sensitive about your weight. What aspect of them knowing it upsets you? Is it because you think they will judge you because I don’t think they will. They’ll be too busy getting on with their job. Keeping you ant the baby healthy.

Is it more you don’t want to hear what it is yourself? If so tell the midwife. They can just put it on your notes. Then you don’t need to hear what it is.

If the midwife / doctor is concerned about your weight by looking at you and you refused to be weighed - they will still tell you the management of your labour will need to be different because of your perceived weight so you won't be saving yourself an ear bashing. You'll just be saving yourself a few seconds of hopping on and off the scales. If you think that's worth not facilitating giving the midwife / medics a piece of information they need to help you, then carry on

don’t want to be told throughout pregnancy at every appointment (plus extra appointments made with consultants- which were always pointless) that my pregnancy and labour needs to be treated different because of higher BMI?

Instead though OP you'll probably have to spend every appointment explaining why they haven't got a note of your BMI and explaining your reasons why. So depends what you prefer really.

I can sympathise but just because your last two pregnancies weren't affected doesn't mean this one won't be, I think it's an important factor for them to have, although as with anything I do believe it's your choice, just be prepared to have to explain it a lot more than just at booking

I’m not sure why you refuse consultant led care? I’ve no BMI issues and mine is fine, my first DS was smaller so consultant lead for my 2nd. being consultant lead for my 2nd discovered issues I’d never had with my 1st, your body changes, you get older, things change. I was then high risk of pre term labour.
Personally If I had another i would want to
Be consultant lead again.... I felt so looked after and my care was amazing. Literally couldn’t fault it at all.

Wouldn’t want to be midwife led!

@gelatodipistacchio

I think refusing to be weighed by a medical professional when you're pregnant is quite odd and bordering on irresponsible, to be honest. These data points are important for monitoring your health and the progress of the pregnancy.

I declined to be weighed at any point during pregnancy as I was anorexic as a teenager and still can't bear scales. I was therefore consultant-led with extra growth scans. Your "irresponsible" is what was necessary for my mental health. It took everything I had not to lose weight during pregnancy, and being weighed would have been the final straw.

Ignore the people saying you are "irresponsible." That word always comes out so quickly when discussing women's pregnancy options.

You've done this before and are entitled to decline. Your midwife will make a judgement call because she's done this before too and will have had previous patients who also didn't want to be weighed/couldn't be weighed. This isn't a big deal.

🙄 at the PPs who act like we must give up bodily autonomy the moment we're pregnant.

We use booking weight for medication, particularly antibiotics if required. I would suggest not declining weight but you can decline extra appts/screening

My midwife at my last booking in appointment used the location of the scales in a different room as a chance to get mum alone to ask about domestic violence. I'm presuming this isn't relevant for you, but weighing you gives a chance to do more than check your BMI.

Hi OP, in the same boat myself - 3rd pregnancy high BMI, went to booking scan expecting the same referrals as previous 2 pregnancies. Have been put under shared care - midwifery with consultant and have been left to my own devices. Midwife said probably something to so with my previous straightforward pregnancies and 2 very straightforward deliveries (7lb2 and 8lb4)
I personally wouldn't refuse to be weighed purely due to it being a medical necessity, and the fact is, after the initial list of question and family history they deducted I'm not a threat for any underlying conditions which may arise in pregnancy aside from clots. I havnt yet been weighed again and they haven't asked if I have been weighing myself. I was put in contact with a dietician and have had one lovely phonecall with her (very warm and not condescending at all)
Hoping you have a similar experience to mine, as even though I am a chunk, I have been treated as I expect all other expectant mums would be delighted to be, with dignity.

Hmm I have read this thread with interest as we are going to TTC #3 and I have had 2 babies whilst I had a high BMI (35ish). With my first I was only 25 years old so no consultant care, no GTT etc. I exercised every day, craved salad, all was perfect.

Second time round was similar but not as much time to exercise with a toddler running around. I wasn’t consultant led that time either actually, I did have a GTT because of my age (27, different part of country) and saw a consultant as I was having a c section but I don’t think that counts as consultant led? My BMI was definitely around 35 or maybe even more then.

So if your BMI is high it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to have consultant care?

I’ll probably do whatever they say again this time, I don’t see why not. I’d hate for the pros to miss something with my baby because I didn’t want to be weighed. I do have food issues and have recently had counselling for them and am working on it every day so my size is always in the forefront of my mind - therefore if a medical professional needs to weigh me that’s fine and I just won’t look. But it’s a personal and sensitive thing!

@Bythefire90 have you ever had a GROW chart for Your other pregnancies? It’s a chart tailored to you which will be used to track babies growth during pregnancy. Many factors are taken into account and weight is one of them, so without your weight the grow chart cannot be created. With a higher weight the SFH tummy measurement is not as accurate as a lighter person, hence people with a BMI of 35 and over have more growth scans to check the growth of baby that way instead of measuring your bump growth.

@Papadontpreachimintroubledeep With patients who were booked over the phone, we have been weighing patients when attending for their dating scans.

@Nellle

Ignore the people saying you are "irresponsible." That word always comes out so quickly when discussing women's pregnancy options.

You've done this before and are entitled to decline. Your midwife will make a judgement call because she's done this before too and will have had previous patients who also didn't want to be weighed/couldn't be weighed. This isn't a big deal.

🙄 at the PPs who act like we must give up bodily autonomy the moment we're pregnant.

This.