Refusing to be weighed at booking

[Bythefire90]

3rd baby and BMI high, never been an issue (higher BMI) in any pregnancy, still happy to do GTT and extra growth scans, but they’ve made such a big issue in the past when I’ve been pregnant despite being healthy in myself re. My BMI, can I refuse to be weighed at my booking appointment this time round? Or will my midwife think I’m being arsey and put me on consultant led care anyway if I refuse?

I’ve birthed two healthy babies, naturally, never had complications, never had Preeclampsia, children were born healthy 7 + lbs at term and always stayed at or lost weight in pregnancies (HG to thank for that).

Don’t want to seem arsey because I love my midwife but also, don’t want to be told throughout pregnancy at every appointment (plus extra appointments made with consultants- which were always pointless) that my pregnancy and labour needs to be treated different because of higher BMI?

Thanks for reading!

I’m all for people advocating for themselves but to me that doesn’t mean not providing the medical staff with information they need. Weight can affect what doses you get and can be a base line to notice any changes.
I’m sure previous pregnancies can be a good predictor of the next one but not always.

Over the course of my life I’ve had my blood pressure taken lots of times. In this pregnancy I’ve had it taken maybe 5 times. Never once has it been high or anything but normal. Nor do I have any conditions which could suggest I’m liable to having high blood pressure. I still get it done each time I go in for midwife even though I’m very sure it’ll be fine.

Theoretically, you can refuse any test or screening. However, refusing the get weighed will probably put more pressure on it, not less. You will end up on consultant lead based on the past information they have for you.

A PP's post about getting in front of it sounds less the least hassle approach.

You say you have had 2 successful pregnancies, but that doesn't guarantee you a third one. If you know what to look out for, engage constructively with them about it to show you are taking it seriously.

Also, my consultant is currently doing zoom calls rather than face to face, so hopefully that will stop you having to wait around in a hospital.

I wish I had, as they picked up my BMI as 30.5 - and that .5 meant being tested for GDD etc My BMI wasn't that at all - I was wearing heavy shoes and a lot of clothes at the time, at home I weighed a few lbs less which would have put me under 30.

What a pp said... is your BMI 27 or 45?
If it's 27, then perhaps not getting weighed will prevent the comments/adjustments you don't want, because if you're only a little overweight they might not be certain enough to mention it in the absence of an actual BMI figure.
But if it is very very high, I would have thought that you will still get the comments because it will be obvious to HCPs that your weight puts you at a higher risk.

I think a better approach would be to ask the midwife if you can have a note put on your notes saying you don't want generic higher risks relating to your weight to be discussed, as you already know them. You are still happy to discuss anything if they actually find a problem. Would that work?

You are allowed to decline consultant led care. I’m not saying you should, but you are allowed to.

I would have a really honest conversation with your midwife. Explain your concerns and perhaps get weighed for the sake of the growth chart (it might ease your midwife’s concerns if you decide to decline consultant care). Explain that you want all normal health checks throughout pregnancy and if anything concerning arises during tests/screenings/scans you will reconsider consultant care?

Just an option. No medical training here, but a firm believer in women advocating for themselves and not being treated like children by healthcare professionals.

Of course you can refuse - all engagements with maternity staff are optional anyway. It’s not compulsory to have any care during a pregnancy.

[quote Bythefire90]@snapple21 I think it’s different when you’re onto your 3rd+, you know your body, you know your pregnancies, you know what to look out for more. I know I certainly do, hence why this time I feel differently about being consultant led, as before I embraced it thinking they was helping when in hindsight they was unnecessary and i was just a number to checked off, just an excuse to constantly discuss risks despite me being fully aware and cautious, this time I’m not so much, I’ve never been medicated in pregnancy or otherwise, never had blood clots despite having 2 surgeries and 2 natural childbirths, however know exactly what to look out for and ask for if they do present this time. The growth charts have consistently been way out for me and my children so I put zero faith in those either.

I think the thought of having to get non existent childcare/cart around two young children, when I’m already ill (hyperemesis) to extra unnecessary appointments is just going to be too stressful. Every appointment was over an hour waiting and 5 minutes being seen only to be asked.. “anything changed? No? Great. We’ll see you in 4 weeks”[/quote]
Preclampsia is more common after the second baby, especially if your BMI is over 30 and as you are (I assume) obese the mw wouldn’t be able to manually pick up IUGR - and you don’t get ultrasound referrals unless you were classed as obese at the beginning. Might explain why despite your size your babies were only ever 7 pounders.

Also, if know you are big beforehand they can often send you for better ultrasounds because standard ultrasounds often aren’t accurate for people with high BMIs.

Up to you though. Your body, your baby, if you’re happy with the risks then so be it

My dm was a midwife.
The problem with refusing to be weighed etc is as long as everything goes fine then the mum is happy to take responsibility.
The minute the mum or baby has an issue then they will blame the care they received.
Suddenly they know nothing and are not medical professionals.
How could they be expected to understand the consequences of their decisions?
So don’t be surprised if the midwife wants to protect herself and stick to best practice.

Do you look overweight op or is it likely to be borderline? I imagine of you're visibly overweight they just follow the same pathway anyway.

Could you talk to your midwife about why you don't want to be weighed and the implications of this re consultant led care when you don't want to be? What happens of you don't attend appts die to childcare etc

@Oneeyeopen

My dm was a midwife. The problem with refusing to be weighed etc is as long as everything goes fine then the mum is happy to take responsibility. The minute the mum or baby has an issue then they will blame the care they received. Suddenly they know nothing and are not medical professionals. How could they be expected to understand the consequences of their decisions? So don’t be surprised if the midwife wants to protect herself and stick to best practice.

Yes my colleague did this. Refused all weigh ins, tests, and insisted on a home birth (which luckily couldn’t happen as she went into labour at work and so was brought into a local hospital) and then when baby was born at 3lbs and needed to be in hospital for 6 months she tried to blame it on her midwife and medical professionals.

@GrumpyHoonMain it’s awful.
My dm nearly had a nervous breakdown because of a pregnancy where the mum dictated her care.
The baby was born with significant problems and the mum successfully sued the hospital and her gp.
The gp eventually got the blame, basically he was too accommodating to the mum.
It was dragged out for years.

@Oneeyeopen
Your poor dm and the GP. Must be so frustrating.

[quote Oneeyeopen]@GrumpyHoonMain it’s awful.
My dm nearly had a nervous breakdown because of a pregnancy where the mum dictated her care.
The baby was born with significant problems and the mum successfully sued the hospital and her gp.
The gp eventually got the blame, basically he was too accommodating to the mum.
It was dragged out for years.[/quote]
That’s awful. I don’t know how that mum can sleep at night the stupid woman.

I would just get weighed OP. Yes your previous pregnancies were fine but it’s not a guarantee that everything will be fine this time. It is also important for the dosing of some medications (if needed ) to use your booking in weight.

You can probably refuse but I doubt they'll let you stay on midwife-led care 😕 although if they're still measuring your bump, surely they would base your baby's size off those measurements so it possibly wouldn't matter?

I had a low to average BMI, ended up gaining 50lbs and in the last 8 weeks, refused to be weighed as it was stressing me out. They did have me come in for 2 growth scans anyway as somehow I was measuring small and they were contemplating inducing me early. Baby ended up being 7lbs 10oz anyway (far cry from the 5lb whatever they thought she would be!!). It's all guess work anyway!

You can refuse, but what's the point in having important information left out of your care? I freak out at the scales due to a long history of eating disorders but my medical background and experience had me taking a deep breath and getting on the scales so that they had that baseline. That was then used to prescribe the right dose for anticoagulant injections post partum. I had a straight forward home delivery but as I was 38 I needed the injections.

What is your BMI? What are your concerns? Can you share them with your midwife) no need to say here).

Yes you can refuse, yes you will almost certainly be thought of as arsey for doing so. Ultimately it’s for the well-being of your child.

My BMI was 33.3 at booking and the consultant led care was utterly pointless. I was under the threshold for extra scans (BMI 34) so it was literally as you say a 5 min conversation after an hour wait a few times.
Depends on your BMI I guess, but if I have another baby at this size I will decline consultant led care. I’ve never had any issues whatsoever and very healthy pregnancies.

My friend had two cessarians because they said she was too overweight for natural birth.
I think it's to protect you and baby and to monitor growth, why wouldn't you be weighed?

Although I'm not overweight (low end of healthy BMI), I've struggled with EDs since early teens. I've had a much healthier relationship with food and my body since I stopped weighing myself.

I didn't refuse to be weighed at my appointments, but I didn't look and I requested to not be told. I knew that as soon as I was told my weight, I'd find it difficult to get those numbers out of my head. The midwives were all lovely about this and told me they'd let me know if there were any concerns without putting numbers against it.

Would requesting not to be told work for you?

You’re perfectly entitled to refuse anything you like

You can refuse, I did on my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy, I was weighed and I bmi was 22 ( size 10) went again to be weighed at 7 months and was still a size 10, still in same clothes I was wearing early pregnancy but I had gained more than I was supposed to, think around 2 stone, and the the midwife gave me a massive grilling. Refused second time round and midwife (different one) was fine about it

Not high BMI, but I refused to be weighed, except one time, where I told them they could record it for anaesthetic but not take repeats or monitor and not tell me.

I have anxiety and explained to them if they monitored my weight I would become controlling and go through extreme measures to ensure my weight gain was exactly perfect for their predictions so they couldn't get upset about my health - even though the unseen measures would be damaging to it.

It depends where you are. In the UK they don't weigh you and do that growth chart rubbish (which has been shown not to help), they take one weight for if you need anaesthetics so they're not doing it at emergency room. Not sure why as obv your weight changes massively during pregnancy.

I recovered from an ED, and so never get weighed to avoid triggering it into starting again. My DH explained to the medical staff that I didn't want to discuss it, or be weighed, and they would have to make arrangements accordingly. I had two high risk pregnancies, but we felt the risk would be higher if the ED started again was greater. Maternal care team were great, and I never heard anything about weight, exercise, nutrition etc. either time.

Definitely let them know, and if the response isn't what you want, find a new team - a successful pregnancy is one where you feel comfortable.

@sergeilavrov

I recovered from an ED, and so never get weighed to avoid triggering it into starting again. My DH explained to the medical staff that I didn't want to discuss it, or be weighed, and they would have to make arrangements accordingly. I had two high risk pregnancies, but we felt the risk would be higher if the ED started again was greater. Maternal care team were great, and I never heard anything about weight, exercise, nutrition etc. either time.

Definitely let them know, and if the response isn't what you want, find a new team - a successful pregnancy is one where you feel comfortable.

I would argue that a successful pregnancy is one where the mother and baby receive appropriate and accurate care resulting in a healthy birth and where important information is available to the medical team so they can proceed in the best way to ensure that result... but yeah being comfortable too I guess...