Bad news at 20 week scan, please help.

[No1worrier]

I hope someone can tell me their experiences from something similar. I have just been told at my 20 week scan my little girl has something seriously wrong with her heart. I have been referred to the fetal medication unit to see a specialist cardiologist tomorrow. She is moving so much, heartbeat has been strong since was 6 and a half weeks pregnant, everything else like her brain, kidneys etc look fine but something is so badly wrong with her heart. I'm so confused 😥. The consultant at the hospital didn't say what he thought it looked like but he said it was serious and I will probably be given options, one being it is fixable, another is ending the pregnancy which we refuse to do! I am 21 weeks pregnant now so more than half way and I can't even think about ending it. All I know is she doesn't have the normal 4 chambers etc like a heart should have. Sorry I don't have much more information than this, we don't get to take notes away home with us at our hospital. Any input would be appreciated 💗

Sorry forgot to mention my down syndrome screening bloods came back as 1 in 99,000

I'm so sorry

So sorry 😢 just devastating and no words will do x

I am so sorry. Sending love and prayers your way.

I am honestly overwhelmed with all the lovely and thoughtful messages by so many of you. I read most of them to my OH too and he found it lovely to hear from so many of you ❤. It's going to be a long road ahead but we will get there x

So very, very sorry. My thoughts are with you. 💐

I am so very sorry to read this. I've just said prayers for you and am sending you strength for whatever comes

So sorry. It's the right decision. You are being the best mum you can be, by letting her go without any suffering. So hard, but such a loving decision.

So, so sorry to read your update, OP. I saw your thread this morning and have just popped back to see if you'd been on. Not going to pretend to know how you feel, but sending lots of hugs to you and your DH.

I'm so sorry to see the update OP, my thoughts are with you

Oh I'm so sorry 💔 how devastating. Prayers to you, your partner and your little girl

Am so so sorry that you and your husband have to go through this. Your baby sounds like she has very strong parents, she will always be incredibly loved no matter what the outcome. You will always be mum and dad and she will always be your angel 😇
My heart goes out to you both,take time to heal ,don't rush through anything ,I wish you and your family all the best for the coming weeks and months xxxx

So sorry to hear the update. I delivered a sleeping baby girl at the same stage of pregnancy so happy to have a PM if you have any practical questions.

I'm really sorry to hear your update. I wish you and your family all the best x

I'm so sorry OP. Your little girl will know how so loved she is by her mummy and daddy.

I’m so sorry to hear your update OP. It’s so unfair. You sound an incredible Mum, so very strong. Best wishes to your baby girl, you, and Daddy too. Take care.

I'm so sorry to hear your news OP

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you x

So sad and I am so sorry for you and your DP and your little girl. Take care

@No1worrier so sorry to hear your update. Sending you loads of love and strength ❤️

We went through similar op. DS2 was born at 27 weeks as we opted not to terminate. We had him for too few hours. He is my darker, quieter, more sensitive boy. He would likely have chosen music rather than sport unlike DS1.

I thought my heart would break and it did but it mended and 24 years on the pain stopped many many years ago. DD arrived 51 weeks later so I was very lucky but one never gets over it but one does come tobterms with it.

@RosesAndHellebores

So glad I came on here to hear everyone elses experiences. We were talking last night and I just can't believe we are talking about cremations etc for our baby girl before she is even born. Before I get to see her or hold her. Life just seems so cruel right now and I just don't know why this is happening to us. What have we done so wrong in life for something like this to happen. I'm waking in the middle of the night crying and this is only the start of it. I don't know if I will be strong enough to get through what's to come next 💔

You haven’t done anything. You haven’t. Please don’t punish yourself. You are still her mummy. She is still your little girl. You just weren’t meant to be in this lifetime, but you’ll be together in the next. Take peace in that she’s not suffering, she won’t be in pain. Just waiting for you until the time comes. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. The road ahead won’t be long; or easy but it will get better x

@No1worrier - the only certainty is that you have done nothing wrong but to question it is normal. I am so sorry you are going through this. One step and hurdle at a time and take the help and support that is offered.

I am so sorry for what you are going through and for what lies ahead. Take strength where you can get it from. You will get through this ❤️🌺

Please don't blame yourself. 💐