How do you cope!

[gizmo167]

So short story, I had mc last January and got BFP earlier this week, am currently CD 35 & cant stop panicking with every wee twinge or cramp that its going to happen again!

I'm 42 and well aware of that clock, this I consider is my last chance & I really just want this one to be the one that sticks!

Is it normal to feel this way? Did any of u feel the same, analysing every wee thing?

I'm so sorry about your MC last year, it's just horrible isn't it and takes all the joy out of subsequent pregnancies. Congratulations on your BFP. You will over analyse every little twinge and will panic. It's normal and natural after what you've gone through. Try and remember "different egg different sperm". I know it's difficult, I've been there myself, had 2 losses in 2018 after 5 years of unexplained infertility. I then fell pregnant for a 3rd time and DD is now 11 months old and napping as I type this, she was born 4 weeks before I turned 40. You got this!

Sending you a hand hold and keeping my fingers crossed for you that this little bean is your rainbow take home baby!

The worry never stops, you just have to take each day as it comes and it does get better as you pass milestones. Good luck.

I've had 5 mc's over the years and too many chemicals to keep count. My most recent mc was in July at 9wk. I had a private scan which confirmed a hb but lost it a week later, took it really hard. Salt in the would was having a chemical pregnancy but then I got my BFP with current one in the following cycle. I'm 11+6wk now and counting down to my dating scan on Tuesday. Having much stronger symptoms this time has made me feel more confident that it will be okay, last time I always felt a bit uneasy about it.

Thank you both @InDreamland and @Chelyanne x

It's awful isn't it, I know its really early days & I should be positive but I just want this so bad, I keep comparing the cycle days to the one I mc on, I have a feeling it's going to be a long few weeks!

@gizmo167

So short story, I had mc last January and got BFP earlier this week, am currently CD 35 & cant stop panicking with every wee twinge or cramp that its going to happen again!

I'm 42 and well aware of that clock, this I consider is my last chance & I really just want this one to be the one that sticks!

Is it normal to feel this way? Did any of u feel the same, analysing every wee thing?

Hi Gizmo, sorry to hear of your mc, sending love and understanding. Hopefully the time goes fast till you can get some solid reassurance (as I know nothing said will settle your head)

I'm in the same boat currently, I had a MC in October, my only other pregnancy so I'm finding it difficult to know what's normal pregnancy symptoms and and what's miscarriage as miscarriage is all I know.

I clutch on to every symptom as a good sign and every pain and discomfort as a bad sign.

I went in to EPU today as I had some discomfort and brown discharge, my hcg levels came back great (29000 currently 6weeks) so that was my first time I have felt slight reassurance. BUT I have to say EPU are fabulous, really understanding and I didn't feel I had wasted their time they said my concerns were justified and they are glad I went in, they also said that some of the discomfort/pains I felt could be anxiety playing tricks, that we over think a pain and it feels worse.

However the anxiety came back as soon as I got back home, they booked me in for a scan on Monday to be sure it's not eptopic so maybe I will feel less panicked then

Be kind to yourself, it's normal to worry, and as the midwife told me today slight worry will not harm the baby. It's ok to feel anxious. Cling on to the good and if you need to talk it out give me a shout 😂 I seem to be awake 24/7 at the min anyway haha

@Colacrisp thank you, I may just take you up on that! How far along are you?

@gizmo167 oh I really do feel for you, I remember so clearly the anxiety of pregnancy after loss. I really hope this is a sticky bean and you have a healthy pregnancy. Remember, every pregnancy is different which can bring additional anxieties but be reassured that no two are the same so just because you feel or not feel something doesn't necessarily mean it's normal or not normal. If you are worried about anything though get checked out at EPU. Also, stay away from Dr. Google, it can really make the anxiety a million times worse (I admit I didn't listen to my own advice).

@Colacrisp congratulations on your BFP. Fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy and you get your rainbow baby. Hope the scan on Monday goes well. Remember you're half way through the 1st tri now.

My approach to my current pregnancy is to pretend it doesn't exist. Yes, I'm actually ignoring it as best I can. I figured if I ignore it then I won't get anxious. I am lucky though that after my 2 losses I have DD (11 months) to keep me very occupied and have a focus. We'll see how long I last before anxiety and panic set in, I just can't cope with a 3rd loss so I'm trying not to think about it. I'm only 4+3 today anyway going by LMP but my periods haven't settled down yet since starting again 5 months ago after cutting down on breastfeeding so I have no idea when I ovulated.

@Chelyanne sorry you have experienced so many losses. Good luck for your scan next week!

@gizmo167 I'm just 28 Dpo, 6 weeks lmp.
Currently at the stage I miscarried last pregnancy which I think is triggering a bit of anxiety. But I'm getting through, and you will too.

Are you feeling generally well at the minute pregnancy wise?

@InDreamland thank you so much, I really do hope we have a sticky Dino, and when you put it like that half way though first sounds much better! I'm sure DD keeps your mind very occupied and I hope time flys by till the "safer" zone!

@InDreamland thank you hun & I hope your approach works, may try that one myself lol! And yea Dr Google really is the devil, I find myself googling the most random stuff, scenarios that haven't happened!

@Colacrisp yea I'm feeling ok, had headaches a few days & still a bit of cramping but I remember having that with my dd, boobs are absolutely killing me & doesn't help when I keep pinching them just to make sure bc that's the first thing I noticed when I had the mc, they just suddenly stopped hurting & that's when the bleeding started!

Really hope we all can get through this one & manage not to drive ourselves mad in the process!

@Colacrisp the stages of previous losses and each milestone is so hard. I was basically anxious right until DD was born. Even 2 an hour before she was born U said to the midwife it felt like my first MC I was so worried. The relief is great when you get passed another milestone but the anxiety kicks in again. Loss just takes away all the joy of pregnancy.

@gizmo167 I did the same. Trying to stay off it this time.

Hope you're all doing okay this weekend.

Anyone a POAS addict?

@InDreamland saw your post on Penguin thread and then saw your message about pregnancy. Congratulations! Crossing everything for you and hopefully it goes all the way! I remember how anxious you were in your first pregnancy. But hopefully things will be different this time! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I know how you feel, I had a mc with my first pregnancy last year then had another very early one 2 Months later. I’m now 4 weeks and so scared it’ll happen again. I feel too scared to go for a private scan but I will discuss it at my booking appointment if I make it that far and see if I could be scanned at the EPU.

It’s so hard isn’t it, I really hope it works out for you. I think we just have to take each day as it comes. It’s out of our control.

Good luck xx

@Cafeaulait27 hugs hun and sending loads of sticky dust your way, it has to be our time doesnt it! How are you feeling?

Hows everyone else???

I reckon I am 5 weeks today, still sore boobs and felt a bit queasy last time and thirsty, still headaches too. Did another IC this morning, test line still not as dark as the control but way darker than they were, anyone else have this?

@gizmo167 thank you! I really hope so for both of us ❤️🤞

I feel very tired, tender boobs and super forgetful/ditsy today, I’m also EXTREMELY emotional, crying at everything. We watched Miss Congeniality last night and I fully cried twice! I just feel very tearful all the time. But overall I feel super happy that I’m pregnant and for now things seem to be going well.

How are you feeling?

I tested yesterday and I was disappointed that my line wasn’t much darker, but I guess I’m only 4+3. I think it’s quite normal to not get a dark line until towards the end of the 5th week so don’t worry.

Are you on any medication at all? I’m taking low dose aspirin as it’s apparently given to women with recurrent miscarriage to help get the blood flow to the baby. I’m hoping it helps this time.

Is it weird that I’m rubbing my belly and talking to the baby?! I figured a little positive thinking and happy vibes sent to the baby can’t hurt... I’m trying to encourage it to keep going!

It’s really hard to not obsess about the pregnancy during lockdown, there’s nothing to take my mind off it really. Keep googling maternity clothes and getting way ahead of myself xxx

@Russkispy thank you. Lovely to hear from you on here. How are you doing? I hear you had DC2 is that right? I can't believe DD will be one next weekend. Feels like yesterday I was going through the MC's and then finally getting pregnant for a 3rd time with DD.

@Cafeaulait27 congratulations on the BFP. FX for a sticky bean and a healthy pregnancy. Hope you can get that early scan at EPU.

@Cafeaulait27 I know what you mean about the lines! I have a DD who is 7 now and I tested really late with her so only got that positive, had no idea about faints or anything then and with the MC I tested CD36 and got a dark positive, the CB I did came back last Wednesday (CD33) was clearly positive, a very clear + sign but the ICs have been getting darker but just not as dark as the control line, I worry about the slightest thing!

I havent called Dr yet but am going to do that first thing and see if they will consider doing bloods to check the hcg levels

@gizmo167 you're just a few days ahead of me. Glad to hear the line is getting darker, that a positive sign. I did an IC yesterday morning which was much darker than on Thursday. I didn't test Friday or this morning. I don't really have any symptoms, had some twitches earlier in the week and some vivid baby dreams which made me test in the first place. I think DD is keeping me busy and helping keep my mind from wandering too much about this pregnancy. I haven't really got my head around being pregnant again yet. I'm still on maternity leave 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Cafeaulait27 rub and chat away. It's lovely you're having that bond already and enjoying it.

Ohhh I'm 100% on the poas vibe 😂

I have a box load of clear blue with week check....even though I'm way over HCG level for 3+ because I found out I was miscarrying before any symptoms (dropping HCG) I knew it was inevitable once it dropped to below the thousands

So me being crazy read the thresholds of what each week meant in hcg levels so at the beginning, if it was still 3+ it was a good sign, if it dropped to 2-3 I knew to expect the worst 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Yup I know that I am on the crazy boat but I'm ok with that 😂

It's crazy isn't it girls, desperately trying to get reassurance from bloody tests! I dont know how not to but am scared of the results!

@Colacrisp those CB weeks indicator tests are the worst for creating anxiety. I never got 3+ on those, even when I was pregnant with DD. I think midwives say they're really bad.

@gizmo167 pregnancy after loss does that to you. I decided to limit myself this time to one every other day. Fingers crossed you get a blazing positive darker than the control line to help reassure you. Might get an early private scan at 7 weeks, I'll see how I feel closer to the time if I don't bleed before then. My last pregnancy I got scans at 7, 8, 10, 12 and 15 weeks privately on top of the usual NHS ones.

Thanks @InDreamland, I actually managed 2 days over weekend without testing, dont know how I did that lol!

I tried to phone surgery today but have to phone back tomorrow, apparently they no longer give appointments in advance with the GP, have to ring at half 8 in the morning!!! Hoping he will see me fairly quickly to see if bloods could be done etc etc!

My husband hid the tests during the TWW for me, it actually helped loads! Could be an option 😊

@gizmo167 that's really good you managed to resist. Fingers crossed you get an appointment tomorrow and can have the 48 hour bloods done.

@Cafeaulait27 hahaha it'd never give DH that control. Gotta do what ya gotta do though.

I had my scan today as still spotting, I saw a teeny tiny heartbeat at 6.3 weeks it made me feel super positive for all of about a day.....now back to "just because I saw a heartbeat doesn't mean the worst won't happen"....why can't I just be happy and positive??

@InDreamland yes, my baby boy is just over 3 months now ☺️ my family is complete, with my daughter and son.
Hope everything will work out for you! And a happy birthday for your DD on Sunday! Time flies so fast! 😕🤦‍♀️