How do you cope!

[gizmo167]

So short story, I had mc last January and got BFP earlier this week, am currently CD 35 & cant stop panicking with every wee twinge or cramp that its going to happen again!

I'm 42 and well aware of that clock, this I consider is my last chance & I really just want this one to be the one that sticks!

Is it normal to feel this way? Did any of u feel the same, analysing every wee thing?

@Colacrisp great that you saw a heartbeat on the scan today 🥰

Do they know why you might be spotting?

I know it’s so hard but try to hold on to the positives xxx

I'm pregnant for the first time and yes I overanalysed everything in the early months!! I've never known worry like it. I had spotting at 4 weeks, plus very painful cramps up until about 7 weeks (much worse than period pains) then bleeding at 8 weeks so I have spent a lot of time being terrified It's hard to take your mind off things I know.
Once I could feel regular movements I felt a lot better (I'm currently 27 weeks with my boy) but I'm sorry that's such a long time to wait. Lots of people feel very reassured after the 12 week and 20 week scans. I know that still seems a very long way away in the early days though. All the best

@Colacrisp great news at setting the HB. It's normal to feel worried soon after but keeping my fingers crossed that this is a healthy baby who you'll get to meet in 34 weeks.

@Russkispy congratulations, I'm so pleased for you, I love hearing this from the Penguin huddle getting their rainbow babies. Thank you, I just can't believe how fast the year has gone.

Hello Gizmo. I know how you feel. Getting a pregnant after mc bring in a lot of panic... i had one the year before last, horrible experience. I got pregnant last year October, currently on 19 weeks. The panic and worry never stops, you just have to learn to live with it, thinking positive is hard at times but keep telling yourself that this rainbow baby will be home soon. It gets easier thou at times goes by, the scans eases your heart. Hearing those heartbeats on every app eases. Once you feel the baby moving you get a sigh of relief on a daily.

Sending you hugs and a holding hand through all this.

try this link, i got it from here, helps a lot

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

datayze.com/miscarriage-chart

@Colacrisp aw hun thats brilliant news xxx I know what you mean though, its so hard to stay positive but that really is the best news!

Dr wont even see me, giving me a call back and thats it! Probably just refer me to the midwife, I will ask if they will consider doing the bloods but I reckon its not likely!

@gizmo167 that's frustrating the Dr won't see you. Not surprised though with Covid and many GPs just send you to the midwifery team or EPU in my area. Fingers crossed someone will support you. Could you maybe call EPU and see if they'll see you? You may have to tell a little porkie pie though to be seen, like say you've had spotting or really bad cramping.

@hotcrosswhat thank you hun and congrats to you, its hard not to worry isnt it!

And @FemaleLady thank you too, just know this is my last chance, at 42, almost 43, I know time is running out fast!

Well, Dr says so long as no bleeding or other signs then they wouldnt see me and wouldnt recommend doing any bloods or early tests etc, in light of covid and everything they dont atm anyhow. Has asked me to call at the surgery to get forms for midwife and told me just to relax!

Hope you don't mind me joining this thread? I'm
currently 4 + 3 - I found out I was pregnant on 29 January and have been worrying ever since.

This is my third pregnancy - my DD is 19, I had a MMC in July and I'm so on edge. I'm constantly evaluating symptoms - are they real, are they imaginary? I'm trying not to test too much, though caved this morning and got a very good dark line (pic attached).

I'm 38, 39 in a couple of weeks and really conscious that I'm getting older. I just want this baby to stick! I'm sort of in denial. Not really talking about the pregnancy with DP and I haven't rung the GP yet. I've booked a private scan for two weeks today, but even if things are ok then, I'll still be worrying. Last pregnancy I had scans at 6 and 8 weeks where everything was fine and then at 10+2 there was no heartbeat. So until I can get to at least 9 weeks with things looking ok, I can't see how I can relax.

Google is a nightmare. I find I look for something and then find some other thread where a new risk I'd never known about is being discussed.

Hope everyone else isn't driving themselves as mad as I am!

I had two miscarriages last year including one missed miscarriage identified at 10 weeks which I think makes you doubt yourself even more. Few tips:
Don’t engage in sabotage behaviour eg doing a million pregnancy tests and agonising over line colours, googling everything that can go wrong and every symptom etc.

Distract yourself - keep busy with work and hobbies, I took an online cooking course between weeks 6-10 which helped.

Recognise that almost anything is normal and that there is nothing much you can do either way. No symptoms are normal, terrible symptoms are normal, disappearing symptoms are normal. Even bleeding can be ok but of course should be checked.

Have some private scans. Seeing the heartbeat and baby at 7 weeks took a load off my mind. But I’ve had to stop myself going nuts and having one every week (see sabotage behaviour above).

Talk to your midwife, they see women who have had miscarriages all the time and can reassure.

Do what you can to feel in control - I had a private consultation to get progesterone pessaries and took low dose aspirin. No idea if it helped but knowing I was doing something helped.

Talk to people - my DH was very supportive as he was worried too. Although of course need to balance with not making them worried too and freaking each other out!

I’d say the biggest thing is distracting yourself though, find something to keep busy with eg decorating a room (not the nursery yet as I’m too superstitious for that!); joining an online course; learning to knit, anything that will keep your mind busy and your hands away from the internet!

Forgot to say I’m now 16 weeks and managing not to worry too badly...

@gizmo167 I hate it when people say just relax. Like we're deliberately being anxious 🙄 could you book yourself an early scan? It might help if you can see a HB. Are you going to register with the midwife straight away? I'm still getting my head around being pregnant again. I've got such mixed feelings about it. I just don't want to register with the midwife yet. I'm only 5 weeks today anyway so reckon I can get away with it for another 2-3 weeks.

@DappledOliveGroves congrats on your BFP. FX for a healthy sticky bean! Stay away from Dr Google.

@DappledOliveGroves welcome and congrats, those lines look super, I never did get as dark as the control line on mine and got a bit obsessed about it, still am lol!

@notalwaysalondoner thank you lovely, such sound advice!

@InDreamland yea I know easier said than done but I will probably register with the midwife anyhow, I know from the time I had DD they took ages to get everything sorted and I wasnt getting my 12 week scan until I was 15 weeks!

Thank you @gizmo167!

It's ironic, really, all the worrying. It never stops. DD is an adult (she'll be 20 next month!) and I still worry about her endlessly. My grey hairs are increasing at a rate of knots!

And at the end of the day, worrying doesn't change anything. Wish I could just stop being so anxious!

@gizmo167 that sounds sensible if they're a bit slow. Mine weren't too bad last time so I will leave it until I really absolutely have to - attempt to bury my head in the sand.

@DappledOliveGroves that's so true, worrying doesn't change what we cannot control.

@notalwaysalondoner this is GREAT advice! Thank you!

I’m taking low dose aspirin this time (wasn’t advised to but I’ve had 2 losses and no babies and I’ve done my research) and it has helped me relax a bit, knowing I’m doing something that might help. I also would really like to get progesterone if needed. Did your private doctor take blood tests first to determine if you needed it or did they just give it to you?

Xxx

Well curiosity and all that, still not as dark as the control line but it's not fading so has to be a good thing I guess! Anyone else never get as dark as control?

Looks good @gizmo167 is it darker than your last test? I do get lines that go the same or slightly darker but every women is different and has different HCG levels.

@InDreamland I seem to not get v dark lines on these tests this time around, the CB I done a week ago today came back clearly positive tho, I know I shouldn't do this to myself, when I was pregnant with my dd I did about 3 tests in total, end of, if it weren't for the mc last year I would feel so different!

@gizmo167 I understand. My first pregnancy I took 2 tests, that ended in an MMC. My second I took 2 then that ended in a CP. My third pregnancy I took 18 tests before a scan at 7 weeks, I then switched to getting a lot of scans up to 16 weeks, until the sonographer at the private clinic kindly told me to stop. MC does this to women, constant testing, scans, knicker checking. It's all normal for what you have been through. The CB being clearly positive is a great sign. I won't tell you to stop testing because it won't make a difference and I'd be a hypocrite. I tested this morning too 🤦🏻‍♀️

After two mc I am now 32 weeks and I worry every day (and I am not a worrier!). I just want him here so I can worry about that instead! That doesn't mean I haven't enjoyed my pregnancy - it's just harder after losses. Good luck!

Hang in there OP.

I had my dating scan yesterday (following 2mc since my twins), it felt like a weight had been lifted seeing an active baby on the screen. Now in my 2nd trimester and feeling some movement which is lovely too.

@littlebrownbaby thank you hun & congrats x
@Chelyanne aw hun I bet that was such a relief for u, I just feel like I'm on edge, want this so bad!
@indreamland it's so hard isn't it & I know I am driving myself to distraction with it all, I think I'm going to have to quit doing this to myself, its not helping!

How are you all doing?