Midwives not helping after C-section

[Emma5557]

Hello, before making an official complaint I want to be sure I am on the right side.
I got an emergency C-section at around 2am and after that I was moved to the post natal ward. The midwifes who followed me during the labour were excellent and told me to ask for help to the midwifes on the post natal ward anytime considering I could not move for the surgery. On the same day in the afternoon I got my catheter removed and I was able to walk, but still in pain while standing (obviously!). Most midwifes told me I needed to do things by myself like going from the the room to the end of the corridor to grab a bottle of water, or even lift up my luggage to take the clothes for my baby. How on earth am I supposed to lift a luggage after not even 24h from the C-section?!

Firstly, Congratulations on your new addition, I hope you're recovering better now and I wish you a speedy recovery

YANBU OP - I would definitely complain.

I thought it might be helpful to share my own experience, I had an emergency c-section back in April 2020, this is in the north east UK.
I stayed in the recovery suite (post op room) for over 4 hours until I was well enough to be transferred through to postnatal - I think I may have been on a 'high dependency postnatal ward' so this may have made a difference but I cannot be sure as I was out of it when I got there still.
I had one main midwife/HCA who helped me, she was a young woman and she was an absolute ANGEL. She came into my little cubicle to help me with anything & everything, I wasn't able to move, was still lying in my blood stained night shirt I wore during my labour with my catheter in. She changed DS nappy for me, checked to make sure I was ok. I had also lost my glasses and she looked through every single part of my large bag to try and find them for me. We had no luck and she even went back to the labour ward to look for them, luckily we found them in my mini painkiller/meds bag on my little table. I apologised to her for feeling as though I'd messed her around but she wasn't snotty AT ALL. She really looked after me, came back to help me with the first feed, she helped me BF and encouraged me all the way through, really made me feel empowered.

Another HCA came to take my catheter out later in the day, gave birth at 4am and she helped me get up & walk to the bathroom to get my catheter out around 4pm I believe. I bled all the way to the bathroom leaving a trail on the floor, I was so embarrassed (even tho I'd just had about 10 pairs of hands up my vag hours beforehand?! 😂) but she was lovely, once she took my catheter out she put my knickers on for me as I was so sore, then walked me back to my bed. I never had to ask for painkillers and felt if I needed help I wouldn't hesitate to ask. I was discharged the following day at 2pm. Total stay around 34 hours hours after birth.

Meanwhile there was a young woman in the next cubicle to me and she had a difficult vaginal delivery, also her first child. Another midwife/HCA came in after she pressed her buzzer. I heard her panicking saying she had started bleeding heavily on her bed and if she could have some help. The HCA was rather harsh with her and abruptly replied 'have you been breastfeeding without a pad on?! You can't do that! No wonder you've bled' it was so patronising as though it was common knowledge... for it being your first child, I myself did not know this. I felt awful for her, she apologised and sounded really hurt.

I think it can be mixed but I really don't agree we should suck it up and get on with it.

Please do complain OP - trusts will never change unless we talk about bad experiences!

I also remember nearly drifting off to sleep whilst holding my baby multiple times in the night. Like a lot of new mums I hadn’t slept in 24+ hours, been told I ‘had to’ stay overnight which meant being completely alone with a baby waking up constantly whilst I was the most exhausted I had ever been in my entire life. I wish I’d known that you can of course leave when you want and gone home.

I wonder if the patronising, impatient tone is due to the shift of care from mother to baby? Like instead of seeing a tired, vulnerable patient, they just see a reluctant and inadequate caregiver.

After being discharged after baby number 1 the midwife who came out to do his hearing check (later the same day) told me off for not having taken my baby out for a walk yet. I had a vaginal delivery with no tearing and did actually fancy a walk so, next morning, I put him in his pram and pushed him down the road to my postnatal check. This midwife told me off for being so stupid and made me phone my husband to collect us. When I said it was a lovely sunny day and I’d fancied a walk she said I had to put my selfish needs to one side now I was a mother.

Fair enough, the two midwives had a difference of opinion, but to make a new mother feel like crap for following advice is pretty shitty. By baby number 2 I was far more assertive.

Maybe if everyone complained, someone would realise they need more staff. Although I could never figure out what is it that makes them so busy.

The post natal care is crap, but you cant critisise the godsend NHS, in what other setting would you accept bad service because staff are busy.

I do think the staff are genuinely rushed off their feet, particularly in postnatal where there would usually be lots of partners around to provide support to Mums and babies. I expect those who try to do it all burn out quickly and transfer out. I also strongly suspect internalised misogyny comes into it.

This is not an excuse, it’s a call to arms. Complaining is the only way it will change.

"Luggage" 🙄 How long were you planning on staying? Is this just a bag with essentials in it, or something youd normally take on holiday with multiple changes of clothing? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Also, "pain" is subjective.

@torquewench

"Luggage" 🙄 How long were you planning on staying? Is this just a bag with essentials in it, or something youd normally take on holiday with multiple changes of clothing? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Also, "pain" is subjective.

You don't 'plan' how long to stay after delivery you have to pack enough to cover emergencies. And in case you've forgotten, we're in a pandemic which means partners/families aren't allowed to visit so can't exactly bring in spare items for you.

Yes, pain is subjective of course. But having MAJOR abdominal surgery = pain. Regardless of your pain threshold.

@torquewench

How judgmental are you!

Since partners can’t come and go freely it’s pretty sensible to take in lots of clothes.

I bled so much it ruined 3 lots of clothes.

Until this thread i was debating a csection for my baby due this summer. I have been put right off. I am so sorry so many of you have experienced these things

My first c section the midwife lifted my baby out of the cot for me each time and she said to buzz for her each time.
The second baby..I rang the buzzer and a midwife came up and told me off and told me I had to do things for myself..I told her I'd had a c section (was not given morphine or anything) and that it was too painful..she said of course ita painful but get on with it.

"Luggage" 🙄 How long were you planning on staying? Is this just a bag with essentials in it, or something youd normally take on holiday with multiple changes of clothing? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Also, "pain" is subjective.

After reading the stories on this thread, that was the comment you decided was worthy of the time it took to type?

You might be the type to turn up for a two week holiday with just a bottle opener and a bobby pin, but many of us thought to pack bulky maternity pads, nappies, more than one change of clothes for us and baby, and basic wash stuff in case we needed to stay longer, such as in the event of a c section.

@torquewench

"Luggage" 🙄 How long were you planning on staying? Is this just a bag with essentials in it, or something youd normally take on holiday with multiple changes of clothing? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Also, "pain" is subjective.

I bled for two days before they took me seriously. So yeah I needed some spare clothes.

Personally I find if you're denied painkillers for 12 hours the days after you've been cut open and your intestines put on a little tray next to you as your eyes roll in the back of your head after a placental abruption, painful. Maybe you'd be fine with that.

(For any pregnant women being nervous I'm sorry. My second birth was amazing. With mostly lovely midwives. Including one lovely lady who was sent to discharge me. She brought me a cup of tea, sat on the edge of my bed and had a proper chat. Asked me how I was really feeling. She was awesome)

I find it strange and very telling though that it doesn't seem to be men saying 'suck it up'. It's mostly women. Here and the snarky midwives I've met. I really think that's the bigger issue.

@HarleyQuinn21

Good luck today!!

Honestly it was my experience and others like those on this thread that gave me the final push to decide to go back to uni. I've decided to become a midwife so I can help women have a positive experience however their baby is brought into the world. I'm planning on starting my studies in 2022. Women don't have to be treated like this so I'm taking some steps to try and make a difference.

Pain is subjective yes, but I think the issue is how women are treated in direct comparison to other types of patients who have had abdominal surgeries. Why should one set of people be treated as patients who need adequate care, rest and recovery and proper painkillers whilst the other set are told to get on with it.

Also interesting that a lot of hospitals put great emphasis on the painful recovery to warn women away from choosing a c-section, then seem to forget all about it when faced with an actual post-section woman 🙄

Same experience here. I was told once my catheter was out & I could feel my feet to go for a shower. I asked if the baby would be kept an eye on? And was told no - take her with me. I'd had my section at mid day - this was tea time the same day.

So I proceeded to wheel her down the corridor in her cot to the shower room, feeling really dizzy and unstable. Took her in, locked the door & slumped on the shower seat. Bled everywhere. This was 6 years ago.

I completely get they were busy, understaffed, more pressing patients than me, but I do wonder if anything had happened to either of us in that showery room how long it'd have been until we were found. I was discharged by lunchtime the very next day & felt far safer at home,

I felt much safer at home as well, I wish I’d known you can just leave if you want to but instead of saying the hospital prefers first-time mums to stay overnight and it was recommended, you just get ‘told’ that you will be staying overnight and discharged the next day as though it isn’t a choice. That’s another thing with maternity care, choices are never presented as such.

Some postnatal care is awful and it really isn't acceptable. I had a 6 day long induction with DC1, then an awful delivery with heavy blood loss. I could barely open my eyes long enough to look at DC1 by the time he was pulled out! The midwives on the post natal ward made it quite clear I was on my own so I had to sleep with him in my arms as I couldn't get out of bed whilst holding him in order to put him in the crib. The next day I told DH that he absolutely was not allowed to leave without me! I wish I had said something at the time but I was lead to believe I should just be grateful for having a healthy baby and that's that. Of course the fact DC was healthy was wonderful but I don't understand why poor care of women in the most vulnerable state of their lives is just accepted like there's no alternative.

Is leaving same day with a csection allowed?

I brought in a decent sized rucksack and a handluggage sized suitcase for my 2nd. Stayed in about 3 days including induction and needed DH to bring in more pants after my first night in postnatal, plus more bottoms and long feeding tops/dresses because the catheter makes maternity pads leak (had 24h catheter as couldn't pee after labour). I'd filled the case with pants (10 pairs), socks and at least 4 bottoms as well as baby clothes (which I was ok for). Rucksack was mostly things to do during induction/snacks after a very miserable hungry first night with DC1 (up all night feeding having missed lunch and only having a small sandwich for dinner as missed ward dinner at 5). 5pm is a very long time before 8am breakfast if you're up feeding all night... I could deal with rucksack (on chair unless occupied by visitor, but even after a VB was iffy lifting/bending down for the suitcase for the first 24h or so. This was pre pandemic so very easy for DH to take washing home and swap for clean stuff, I'd bring more at the moment as a result of visiting restrictions!

2 years after my 2nd I had appendicitis, laparoscopic surgery and the staff were so much more up for helping me than the post C-section women on the post natal wards. Totally happy to take me to the toilet (because seriously dizzy), help me back to my bed, provide food once I was finally interested in it post surgery (about 11pm or so after 2 days of zero appetite (some nil by mouth time but totally irrelevant as could not face food at all). I certainly wasn't expected to master unfamiliar skills (feeding and changing a scary fragile creature) alone, unlike in maternity.

Even pre Covid DH wasn't allowed to settle me into the ward because it was about 3am, meaning nothing was organised for my first night (typically DC2 did not do the sleep 12h post birth thing after a night time birth while DC1 slept 12h after her early afternoon birth before feeding ravenously all night - pretty well straight after they finished the 2 hourly obs due to meconium...

@THATbasicSNOWFLAKE anyone's allowed to discharge themselves from hospital. They're medical professionals not police. BUT if they ask you to stay then you probably should. As far as I know, as long as everything is straight forward most people are being discharged the next day after c sections.

I think it's important to remember you are there voluntarily, it's not a prison. There is a real culture of treating pregnant and postpartum women like naughty children.

I have previously demanded to be discharged the same day as having baby .... just wondered how doable this would be with a section

After having wisdom teeth removal, I was wheeled to the loo and had morphine pain relief but women having major abdominal surgery are expected to get on with it? We keep being told a caesarian is major surgery yet afterwards are given paracetamol and told that they need to mobilise.

@SnuggyBuggy

I think it's important to remember you are there voluntarily, it's not a prison. There is a real culture of treating pregnant and postpartum women like naughty children.

This! There's a Facebook page for my local maternity service and people are meekly asking if they are allowed to request no students - you don't have to consent to anything you aren't happy with. In labour I was told I was going to be put on a drip - no discussion. All changed when I clearly repeated over and over again that I did not consent to this course of action. That was first baby. This time I will be using the consent word a lot more as it seemed to scare the beejebus out of them. I am not a piece of meat.